Monday, September 1, 2008

Posts of Blog rachanakar

Posts of Blog rachanakar

charli chaiplin kee aatmakatha (6)

Posted: 01 Sep 2008 03:18 AM PDT

meri aatmakatha

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charli chaiplina

 

charli chaiplin kee aatmakatha

-anuvad : sooraj prakasha

suraj prakash

(pichhale ank 5 se jari…)

dasa

utsukata aur chinta se bhara main los enjels pahuncha aur gret nardarn men ek chhote se hotal men kamara le kar tik gaya. pahali hi sham ko mainne ek basamain holide ka tikat liya aur empres men doosara sho dekha. yahin par karno kampani apane pradarshan kar chukee thi. etedent ne mujhe pahachan liya aur bad kuchh hi pal bad mujhe yah batane ke lie aaya ki mistar senet aur mis mobel normad mujhase do kataren pichhe baithe hue hain aur poochh rahe hain ki kya main unake sath baithana pasand karoonga? main romanchit ho gaya aur jaldabaji men, fusafusa kar kiye gaye parichay ke bad hamane mil kar sho dekha. sho ke khatm ho jane ke bad, ham men strit par kuchh kadam chal kar gaye aur halke-fulake khane aur drink ke lie tahakhane men bane biyar bar men chale gaye. mistar senet ko yah dekh kar dhakka laga ki main itani kam umr ka hoon.

"mera to khyal tha ki tum kafi boodhe aadami hovoge," unhonne kaha. unakee aavaz men pareshani ka tanj tha. aur is bat ne mujhe bhi pareshani men dal diya kyonki senet sahab ke sabhi kamediyan budhaoo se dikhane vale shakhs hote the. fred mes pachas se oopar kee umr ke the jabaki ford starling bhi chalis ke pete men the.

"main utane boodhe jaisa mek ap kar sakata hoon jitana aap chahen, mainne javab diya." alabatta, normad jyada aashvast karane vali thi. mere bare men usake jo bhi khyalat the, usane unhen jahir nahin hone diya. mistar senet ne kaha ki mera kam tatkal hi shuroo nahin hoga. lekin main edendel men stoodiyo men aa sakata hoon aur vahan logon se jan pahachan badha sakata hoon. jab ham kaife se chale to ham mistar senet kee bhavy resing kar men thuns gaye aur unhonne mujhe mere hotal par chhod diya.

agali subah, main edendel ke lie ek stritakar men savar huaa. ye jagah los ejenls ke ek up nagar men thi. ye jagah bahut badi vichitr si dikhati thi aur main tay nahin kar paya ki ye guzare layak logon kee rihayashi basti thi ya fir ardh-audyogik basti. isamen chhote-chhote kath kabad aur kabad khane the aur vahan ujad se dikhane vale chhote-chhote khet the jin par sadak kee taraf ekadh lakadi ke khokhe se bane hue the. kaee jagah poochhatachh karane ke bad main keeston ke samane pahunch paya. yahan par bhi dhahate hue khandaharon vala mamala tha. usake charon taraf hari bad lagi huee thi. lagabhag dedh sau varg fut kee. isaka rasta ek bagiche ke galiyare se ho kar jata tha aur bich men ek purana bangala padata tha. poori jagah hi edendel kee hi tarah manahoosiyat bhari lag rahi thi. main sadak ke doosari taraf khada ho kar use dekhata raha aur man hi man udhedabun men laga raha ki bhitar jaoon ya nahin.

lanch taim ho raha tha aur main auraton, mardon ko apane apane mek ap men bangale ke bahar aate dekhata raha. inamen keeston ke surakshakarmi bhi the. ve sadak par kar samane bane ek chhote se janaral stor men jate aur saindavich aur hot dog khate huai bahar aa jate. unamen se kuchh log ek doosare ko zor zor se aavazen dekar pukar rahe the,"...oe haink, jaldi karo, slim se kaho, fatafat aaye."

achanak hi mainne sharmindagi mahasoos kee aur teji se ek surakshit doori par ja kar ek kone men khada ho gaya aur dekhane laga ki shayad mistar senet ya mis normad bangale se bahar nikal kar aa jayen lekin ve nazar nahin aaye. main aadhe ghante tak vahan khada raha aur fir mainne faisala kar liya ki hotal men hi vapis chala jaye. stoodiyon men jane aur un sab logon ka samana karane kee samasya mere lie pahad si hoti chali ja rahi thi.

do din tak main stoodiyo ke get tak aata raha lekin meri itani himmat nahin thi ki bhitar tak ja sakoon. tisare din mistar senet ne fon kiya aur janana chaha ki mainne ab tak apani shakl kyon nahin dikhayi hai. mainne koee bhi ulata sidha bahana bana diya. abhi thik isi vakt chale aao. main tumhara intazar karoonga. unhonne kaha. isalie main vahan ja pahuncha aur dhadalle se bangale ke bhitar ghusata chala gaya aur mistar senet ke lie poochha.

ve mujhe dekh kar bahut khush hue aur mujhe sidhe hi stoodiyon men le gaye. meri khushi ka paravar n raha. naram, sam raushani poore set par faili huee thi. ye raushani safed kapadon kee bahut badi chadaron se aa rahi thi jo soory kee raushani kee chamak ko chhitara rahi thin aur isase poore parivesh ko ek alaukik aabha si mil rahi thi. raushani ke is failav se din kee si raushani ka aabhas mil raha tha.

ek ya do abhinetaon se milavane ke bad main vahan chal rahe karobar men dilachaspi lene laga. ek doosare se sate tin-tin set lage hue the aur un par tin komedi kampaniyan kam kar rahi thin. ye sab aisa lag raha tha mano aap vishv mele men kuchh dekh rahe hon. ek set par mabel normad ek daravaja pit rahi thin aur chilla rahi thi,"..mujhe bhitar aane do." tabhi kaimara ruk gaya aur sin poora ho gaya. tab mujhe is bare men kuchh bhi pata nahin tha ki filmen is tarah se tukadon men bana karati hain.

ek aur set par ford starling kam kar rahe the. mujhe unhin kee jagah leni thi. mistar senet ne unase mera parichay karaya. ford sahab keeston kampani chhod kar ja rahe the kyonki ve yunivarsal ke sath mil kar apani khud kee kampani khadi karane vale the. ve janata ke bich aur stoodiyo men sabake bich bahut adhik lokapriy the. log bag unake set ke aas-pas ghera banaye khade the aur unake abhinay par khoob hans rahe the. senet mujhe ek taraf le gaye aur apane kam karane ke taur tarike ke bare men bataya,"hamare pas koee sineriyo nahin hota. hamen bas ek aaidiya aata hai, aur usake bad ghatanaon kee svabhavik shrinkhala chalati hai aur chalati rahati hai aur aakhir men bhaga-daudi men khatm hoti hai. yahi hamari komedi ka nichod hota hai."

ye tarika achchha tha lekin vyaktigat taur par main pichha karane ke natak se nafarat karata tha. isase aadami ka vyaktitv hi gayab ho jata hai, nas pit jata hai usaka. ab choonki main filmon ke bare men vaise hi kam janata tha, lekin itana zaroor janata tha ki koee bhi chiz vyaktitv par havi nahin hoti.

us din main ek set se doosare set ke bich bhatakata raha aur kampaniyon ko kam karate dekhata raha. aisa lag raha tha manon ve sab ke sab starling kee hi nakal kar rahe hon. main isase chinta men pad gaya, kyonki unakee stail mujhe mafik nahin aati thi. ve ek pareshan hal dach men kee bhoomika kar rahe the, aur dach uchcharan men drishyon ke zariye honth hilane ka abhinay karate the. halanki ye sab mazak bhara hota tha lekin mook filmon men kho jata tha. main is bat ko le kar pareshan tha ki mistar senet mujhase kya ummid karate hain. unhonne mera kam dekha huaa tha aur janate hi honge ki main ford taip kee komedi ke layak nahin tha. lekin meri stail to thik usake viparit thi. isake bavajood stoodiyo men sochi ya vichari gayi koee bhi kahani ya sthiti sayas ya anayas hi ford saheb ko hi dhyan men rakh kar tay kee jati thi. yahan tak ki rosko aorabakkal bhi starling kee hi nakal kar rahe the.

stoodiyo nishchit hi pahale koee khet raha hoga. mabel normad ka dresing room door ek purane bangale men tha aur isase sata huaa ek doosara kamara tha jahan abhinetriyon kee mandali kee doosari mahilaon ke taiyar hone kee jagah thi. bangale ke thik samane hi kalakaron kee mandali ke jooniyar staf aur keeston ke suraksha karmiyon ke lie mukhy dresing room tha jo shayad kabhi khalihan raha hoga. inamen jyadatar log sarkas ke bhootapoorv jokar aur eenami kushtibaj rahe the. mujhe star dresing room diya gaya. ise pahale maik senet, ford starling aur rosko aorabakkl istemal karate rahe the. yah bhi ek khalihananuma dhancha tha jo shayad kabhi ashv sajja kaksh hoga. mabel normad ke alava vahan doosari kaee khoobasoorat ladakiyan bhi thin. ye saundary aur pashavikata ka adbhut aur anootha sangam tha.

kaee din tak main stoodiyo dar stoodiyo bhatakata raha aur hairan pareshan hota raha ki aakhir kam kab shuroo hoga. kaee bar main stej par aate jate senet sahab se takara jata, lekin ve meri taraf sooni nigahon se dekhate, aur apane hi khyalon men khoye rahate. main is asuvidhajanak khyal se hi pareshan ho raha tha ki ve ye samajhate honge ki unhonne mujhe rakh kar galati hi kee hai aur ve mujhe is hal se nikalane ke lie koee koshish bhi to nahin kar rahe the.

roz dar roz meri manasik shanti senet sahab par hi nirbhar karati thi. agar ham kahin ek doosare se raste men takara bhi gaye to ve muskura dete aur meri ummiden badh jatin. bakee kampani ka jo rukh tha vah dekho aur intazar karo vala tha lekin kuchh logon kee nigah men main ford ke galat vikalp ke roop men hi chun liya gaya tha.

shanivar aaya to senet sahab bahut hi udaramana the. unhonne kaha,"frant aofis men jao aur apana chek le lo." mainne unase kaha ki main chek ke bajaye kam pane ke bare men jyada pareshan hoon. main ford starling kee nakal karane ke bare men bhi bat karana chahata tha lekin unhonne mujhe ye kah kar darakinar kar diya,"chinta mat karo, ham jaldi hi tumhen kam bhi denge."

nitthale baithe hue nau din bit chuke the aur mera tanav meri shiraon par aa raha tha. alabatta, ford sahab mujhe santvana dete, aur kam ke bad aksar ve mujhe shahar tak lift bhi de dete. ham raste men elekzaindra bar men drink ke lie rukate, unake kaee mitron se milate. unamen se ek the mistar elmar elsavarth jinhen main shuroo shuroo men to napasand karata raha aur unhen kuchh had tak foohad samajhata raha, lekin ve mujh par mazak karate hue fabtiyan kasate,"mera khyal hai aap ford kee jagah le rahe hain. thik hai, aap hansod hain kya?"

"vinamrata is bat kee ijazat nahin deti," mainne chutakee li. is tarah hi ghisaee bahut takalifadeh thi, khasakar ford sahab maujoodagi men.

lekin poori saumyata se unhonne mujhe is halat se yah kah kar bahar nikal diya,"kya aapane inhen empres men sharabi kee bhoomika men nahin dekha hai? bahut hansaya inhonne usamen."

"vaise to inhonne mujhe ab tak nahin hansaya hai." elsavarth bole.

ve mote, bedhange aadami the jo glaindar rog se pidit dikhate the, jisamen niche ka jabada ghode kee tarah sooj jata hai aur nak se pani aane lagata hai. unaka chehara udasi se bhara aur manahoosiyat ke bhav liye hota tha. unake chehare par koee bal nahin the, udas aankhen, aur lataka chehara, aur aisi muskurahat jisase lage ki ve sahity, vitt aur rajaniti par koee top chiz hain. desh men sabase jyada janakar bas, vahi hain aur unhen hasy bodh kee khoob parakh hai. alabatta, mujhe ye sab nahin jama aur main tay kiya ki main unase bachane kee koshish karoonga. lekin elekjendra bar men ek rat, ve bole,"ab tak ye jahaj pani men nahin utara hai?"

"ab tak to nahin," main bechain hansi hansa.

"thik hai, aap hansod hi bane raho."

in mahashay se kafi kuchh sun chuka tha main. ab tak to mainne bhi tay kiya ki inakee kadavi khurak ka ek ghoont bhi aaj pila hi diya jaye.

"achchhi bat hai, aap jitane hansod dikhate hain, usake aadhe men se bhi mera kam chal jayega."

"hunh, tane marane vala mazak? thik hai, thik hai, main isake bad unake lie ek drink kharid doonga."

aur aakhir ve pal aa hi gaye. senet sahab mabel ke sath lokeshan par bahar gaye hue the aur ford starling kampani bhi vahan nahin thi. aur is hisab se stoodiyo men koee bhi nahin tha. keeston ke sabase varishth nirdeshak henari leharamain senet ke bad ek nayi film shuroo karane vale the aur chahate the ki main usamen akhabar ke ek riportar kee bhoomika karoon. leharamain bahut hi ghamandi kism ke aadami the aur is bat par unhen bahut garv tha ki unhonne mashini tarike kee kuchh bahut hi safal komedi filmen banayi hain. ve kaha karate the ki unhen vyaktitvon kee zaroorat nahin hoti aur ve apane lie hansi ka sara saman maikenikal prabhavon se aur sanpadan se paida kar sakate hain.

hamare pas koee kahani nahin thi. sara kissa printing pres ke aas-pas buna jana tha jisamen yahan vahan hansi ke kuchh pal jutaye jane the. mainne ek halka frok kot pahana, ek top hait lagaya, aur ninboo atakane vali moonchhen rakhin. jab hamane kam shuroo kiya to main dekh pa raha tha ki leharamen sahab ke pas naye naye vicharon ka akal tha. aur ye bat bhi thi ki choonki main keeston men naya tha to sujhav dene ke lie chhatapata raha tha, pareshan tha ki sujhav doon ya nahin. aur yahin par aakar meri leharamain sahab se takarahat shuroo huee. ek drishy tha jisamen mujhe akhabar ke sampadak ka sakshatkar lena tha aur apani taraf se jitana bhi socha ja sakata tha, mainne hansi ke pal dalane kee koshish kee. aur yahan tak kiya ki bakee kalakaron ko bhi sujhav dene kee zahamat bhi uthayi. halanki film tin din men poori ho gayi thi, mujhe laga ki ham kuchh bahut hi hansi-mazak kee chijen dalane men safal rahe the. lekin jab mainne taiyar film dekhi to mera dil doob gaya. isaka karan yah tha ki sampadak mahoday ne usamen itani buri tarah se kat-chhant kar di thi ki use pahachana hi nahin ja sakata tha. mere hansi mazak vale sabhi drishyon ke thik bich men kainchi chalayi gayi thi. mera to dimag hi kharab ho gaya. aur soch-soch kar pareshan hone laga ki aakhir unhonne aisa kyon kiya tha. leharamain sahab ne kaee baras bad is bat ko svayan svikar kiya tha ki unhonne ye sab janaboojh kar kiya tha kyonki, unake vichar se main kuchh jyada hi sayana ban raha tha.

leharamain sahab ke sath jis din mainne apana kam khatm kiya, usake ek din bad senet sahab lokeshan se vapis aaye. ford sahab ek set par the aur aorabakkal doosare set par. poora ka poora set tinon kampaniyon ke kam ke karan vyast tha aur vahan til dharane kee jagah nahin thi. main sadak chhap kapadon men tha aur mere pas koee kam dham nahin tha. isalie main ek aisi jagah par ja kar khada ho gaya jahan se senet sahab kee mujh par nigah pad sake. ve mabel ke sath khade the aur ek hotal lobi ka set dekh rahe the aur apane sigar ka sira kutar rahe the.

"hamen yahan kuchh hansi chahiye." unhonne kaha aur fir meri taraf mude,"komedi vala mek ap kar lo. kuchh bhi chalega."

mujhe ratti bhar bhi khyal nahin tha ki kis tarah ka bana dharan kiya jaye. mujhe pres riportar vala apana get ap achchha nahin laga tha. alabatta, dresing room kee taraf jate samay mainne socha ki main baigi paint pahan loon, bade-bade joote hon, hath men chhadi ho, tang kot ho, hait chhota sa ho, aur joote bade. main abhi ye tay nahin kar paya tha ki mujhe javan dikhana chahiye ya boodha, lekin mujhe yad aaya ki senet sahab mujhase ummid kar rahe the ki main kafi boodha lagoon, mainne chhoti chhoti moonchhen bhi lagane ka faisala kiya jisase, mere khyal se, bina apane hav-bhav chhupaye main apani umr ko jyada dikha sakata tha.

mujhe charitr ke bare men koee aaidiya nahin tha. lekin jyon hi main taiyar huaa, kapadon se aur mek ap se mujhe pata chal gaya ki is bane se kis kism ka vyakti ban chuka hai. main use janane lag gaya aur jab tak main stej tak chal kar aata, us vyaktitv ka poori tarah se janm ho chuka tha. jab main senet sahab ke samane aaya to mainne charitr ko hi jina shuroo kar diya aur raub se chalane laga. apani chhadi ka hilate hue aur unake aage chahal kadami karate hue mere dimag se hansi bhari sthitiyon aur mazakon ka sota sa footane laga.

maik senet kee safalata ka raz ye tha ki unamen gazab ka utsah tha. ve ek bahut hi behatarin shrota the aur jo bat bhi unhen mazakiya lagati, us par khul kar hansate the. ve khade-khade tab tak khilakhilate rahe jab tak unaka poora sharir hilane dulane nahin lag gaya. unhonne mera utsah badhaya aur mujhe charitr samajhaya,"tum janate ho ki is aadami ke vyaktitv ke kaee pahalu hain. vah ghumakkad, mast maula hai, bhala aadami hai, kavi hai, svapnajivi hai, akela jiv hai, hamesha romans aur romanch kee ummiden lagaye rahata hai. vah tumhen is bat kee yakeen dila dega ki vah vaigyanik hai, sangitagy hai, dyook hai, polo khiladi hai, alabatta, vah sadak par se sigareten utha kar pine vale aur kisi bachche se usakee tofi chhin lene vale se jyada kuchh nahin. aur han, yadi mauka aaye to vah kisi bhali aurat ko usake pichhavade lat bhi jama sakata hai, lekin beintaha gusse men hi.

main das minat ya usase bhi jyada der tak yahi karata raha, aur senet sahab lagatar hansate rahe, khilakhilate rahe,"thik hai, unhonne kaha,"chale jao set par aur dekho ki tum kya kar sakate ho."

leharamain kee film kee hi tarah main is film ke bare men bhi kuchh bhi nahin janata tha sivay isake ki mabel normad apane pati aur apane premi ke bich fans jati hai.

kisi bhi komedi men sabase mahattvapoorn hota hai nazariya. lekin har bar nazariya dhoondhana aasan bhi nahin hota. alabatta, hotal lobi men mainne yah mahasoos kiya ki main chhaliya hoon jo ki kisi mehaman kee tarah poz kar raha hai, lekin vastavikata men main ek traimp tha jo thoda bahut aashray chahata hai. main pravesh karata hoon aur ek mahila ke pair se thokar kha jata hoon, main mudata hoon aur jaise mafi mangate hue apana hait uthata hoon aur fir mudata hoon aur is bar ek pikadan se takara jata hoon. aur is bar main pikadan ke aage hait uthakar mafi mangata hoon. kaimare ke pichhe ve log hansane lage.

vahan par kafi bhid jama ho gayi thi. vahan n keval un doosari kampaniyon ke kalakar apana apana kam chhod kar vahin jut aaye the balki stej par kam karane vale badhaee aur vardarob men kam karane valon ne bhi achchhi khasi bhid juta li thi. aur ye sabase bada puraskar tha. aur jab tak hamane riharsal khatm kee, hamare aas-pas bahut badi sankhya men darshak khade hue hans rahe the. jaldi hi mainne ford sahab ko doosare logon ke kandhon ke pichhe se uchak kar dekhate hue dekha. aur jab ye sab khatm huaa to main janata tha, main kila fatah kar chuka hoon.

din ke ant men jab main apane dresing room men gaya to ford starling aur aorabakkal apane-apane mekaap utar rahe the. bahut kam baten huee lekin poore mahaul men ek lahar chal rahi thi. ford tatha rosko, donon ne mujhe pasand kiya. lekin eemanadari se kahoon to ve donon hi kisi bhitari sangharsh se jujh rahe the.

ye ek lamba drishy tha jo poore pichahattar fut tak chala. bad men leharamain aur senet sahab men bahas hoti rahi ki kya is poore drishy ko jyon ka tyon jane diya jaye kyonki us samay amooman hansi mazak ke drishyon kee lambaee mushkil se das fut huaa karati thi.

"ye achchha mazak bhara hai," mainne kaha,"kya lambaee se vakaee fark padata hai?" tab unhonne tay kiya ki is poore drishy ko jas ka tas pichahattar fut kee lambaee tak jane diya jaye. choonki mere kapade mere charitr se mel kha rahe the, mainne tabhi aur usi vakt hi tay kar liya ki bhale hi kuchh bhi ho jaye, main apani isi dhab ko banaye rakhoonga.

us rat main stritakar men apane ghar lauta to mere sath hamari kampani men kam karane vala ek jooniyar kalakar tha. usane kaha,"dost, aapane kuchh nayi shuruaat kar di hai. ab tak aisa kabhi bhi nahin huaa tha ki set par is tarah kee hansi ke mauke aaye hon. ford starling sahab ke lie bhi nahin. aap zara unaka chehara to dekhate, dekhane layak tha."

"ab ham yahi ummid karen ki log bag thiyetar men bhi isi tarah se hansate hain?" mainne apani khushi ko dabate hue kaha.

kuchh hi din bad, elekjedra bar men mainne apane koman dost elmar elsavarth ko mere charitr ke bare men ford sahab ko kanafoosi karate suna,"janab ne baigi paint pahani thi, sapat pair, aur unakee halat khasta thi, aap dekhate to banda achchha khasa harami, dhool-gandagi men sana lag raha tha. is tarah ke khijh bhare hav bhav dikhata hai mano isakee bagal men chitiyan kat rahi hon. achchha khasa kartoon lagata hai."

mera charitr thoda alag tha aur amerikee janata ke lie anajana bhi. yahan tak ki main bhi usase kahan parichit tha. lekin ve kapade pahan lene ke bad main yahi mahasoos karata tha ki main ek vastavikata hoon, ek jivit vyakti hoon. daraasal, jab main ve kapade pahan leta aur traimp ka bana dharan kar leta to mujhe tarah tarah ke mazakiya khyal aane lagate jinake bare men main kabhi soch bhi nahin sakata tha.

main us jooniyar kalakar ke bahut karib aa gaya tha aur har rat stritakar men ghar vapis aate samay vah meri kamedi ke bare men din bhar stoodiyon men huee pratikriyaon ke bare men batata aur baten karata," vo to kamal ka hi aaidiya tha, dost, tumhara ve fingar bol men ungaliyan dubona aur us budhaoo kee moonchhon se poochh lena....aaj tak kisi ne is tarah kee baton ke bare men socha bhi nahin hoga." aur is tarah se vah ye sari baten batata rahata aur mujhe hava bhare gubbare men oopar chadhata rahata.

senet sahab ke nirdeshan men main sahaj mahasoos karata tha kyonki unake sath set par sab kuchh sahaj sfoort tay hota chala jata tha. choonki koee bhi apane khud ke bare men pazitiv ya antim roop se pakka nahin hota tha (yahan tak ki nirdeshak bhi nahin,) isalie main apane bare men yah man kar chalata ki main doosaron se jyada janata hoon. mainne sujhav dene shuroo kar diye jinhen senet sahab saharsh svikar kar lete. is tarah se mujhamen yah vishvas panapane laga ki main srijan bhi kar sakata hoon aur apani khud kee kahaniyan bhi likh sakata hoon. senet mahoday ne nishchay hi is vishvas ko prerit kiya. lekin halanki main senet sahab ko khush kar chuka tha, janata ke darabar men ja kar use khush karana abhi bakee tha.

agali film men mujhe fir se leharamain ke havale kar diya gaya. ve senet sahab ko chhod kar starling ke pas ja rahe the halanki ve senet ke sath apane karar ke khatm hone kee tarikh ke bad bhi do hafte tak rukane ke lie taiyar ho gaye the. jab mainne unake sath fir se kam karana shuroo kiya to main ek se ek nayab sujhavon se bhara huaa tha. ve meri bat sunate aur muskura dete lekin unhen svikar n karate. ve kaha karate,"ho sakata hai is tarah kee baten thiyetar men chal jaye lekin filmon men hamare pas in sab baten ke lie fursat nahin hai. hamen hamesha gatishil rahana chahata hoon. komedi pichha karane ke lie ek bahana hai."

main unakee is sapatabayani se sahamat nahin tha,"hasy to hasy hai." main tark deta,"chahe vah filmon men ho ya thiyetar men." lekin ve apani hi baton par ade rahe, vahi karane par tule rahe jo keeston men hota aaya tha. sare ekshan tej gati se hone chahiye. isaka yahi matalab hota ki lagatar daudate raho, gharon kee chhaton par, stritakaron men koodo, daudo, nadiyon men chhalangen maro, aur khambhon par se koodo. unakee is komedi kee thyori ke bavajood main kisi n kisi tarah se akele kee komedi ke lie ekadh gunjaish nikal hi leta tha, lekin hamesha kee tarah, ve unhen sanpadan kaksh men katava hi lete.

main nahin samajhata ki leharamain ne mere bare men senet sahab ko koee bahut achchhi riport di hogi. leharamain ke bad mujhe ek any nirdeshak ko saunp diya gaya. mistar nikolas sath ke pete men ek adhed aadami the jo moshan filmon kee shuruaat se hi unase jude hue the. mere samane unake sath bhi vahi dikkat thi. unake pas kul mila kar hansane ka ek hi tarika hota tha. isamen ve komediyan ko gardan se pakadate the aur ek sin se doosare sin tak use ghoonse hi marate jate the. main isase barik baten unhen batana chahata tha, lekin ve kuchh bhi sunane ko taiyar nahin the. "hamare pas taim nahin hai, taim nahin hai." ve chillate. ve bas kisi tarah se ford starling kee nakal bhar chahate. halanki mainne mamooli sa hi virodh jatalaya tha lekin lagata hai, ve jakar senet sahab ke kan bhar aaye ki mujh jaise suar ke pille ke sath kam karana unake bas kee bat nahin.

lagabhag isi samay vah film jo senet sahab ne nirdeshit kee thi, mabels strenj prediktamet, up nagaron men dikhayi gayi. bhay aur ghabadahat ke mile jule bhav ke sath mainne ise darshakon ke bich baith kar dekha. jab ford starling parde par aate to unaka svagat hamesha utsah aur hansi ke sath hota tha lekin mere hisse men thanda maun hi aaya. vah sab hansi mazak ke sin jo mainne hotal lobi men kiye the, mushkil se ekadh muskurahat hi juta paye. lekin jaise-jaise film aage badhi, darshak pahale dabi hansi hanse, fir khul kar hanse, aur film ke khatm hote n hote, ek do zor ke thahake lage. us pradarshan men mainne paya ki darshak naye aagantuk ko ekadam nakar nahin dete hain.

main duvidha men tha ki ye pahala prayas senet sahab kee ummidon par khara utara ya nahin. mera to yahi manana hai ki ve nirash hi hue the. ve ekadh din ke bad mere pas aaye aur bole,"suno, sab logon ka kahana hai ki tumhare sath kam karana mushkil hai." main unhen ye samajhana chahata tha ki main satark tha aur sirf film kee behatari ke lie hi kam kar raha tha. "vo to thik hai, senet bole, "tum sirf vahi karo jo tumhen karane ke lie kaha jaye. usi men hamari tasalli ho jayegi." lekin agale hi din nikolas ke sath meri ek aur jhadap ho gayi aur main fat pada,"aap mujhase jo kuchh karavana chahate hen, vah tin dolar roz kamane vala koee bhi ekstra kar sakata hai." mainne ghoshana kar di,"main kuchh aisa karana chahata hoon jisamen kuchh akl ka kam ho, sirf idhar udhar mara-mara girate padate rahana aur stritakar men se girana, ye sab mere bas ka nahin. mujhe hafte ke ek sau pachas dolar sirf isi ke lie nahin milate."

bechara "popa" nikolas, jaisa ki ham use kaha karate the, usakee to halat kharab thi. "main pichhale das baras se is dhandhe men hoon." ve kahane lage, "tum in sabake bare men janate hi kya ho?" mainne use pyar se samajhane kee koshish kee lekin koee fayada nahin huaa. mainne kast ke bakee kalakaron ko bhi samajhane kee koshish kee lekin ve sab bhi mere khilaf the. "oh, vah janata hai, vahi janata hai, vah pichhale kaee baras se ise lain men hai," ek boodhe kalakar ne mujhe samajhaya.

mainne kul mila kar panch filmen banayin aur un sabamen kisi tarah se jod-tod karake apana khud ka kuchh n kuchh komedi ka masala dal hi diya. beshak usaka sanpadan kaksh men baithe kasaee jo bhi karate rahe hon. ab choonki main sanpadan kaksh men usakee sanpadan kala se vakif ho chuka tha isalie main sin ke shuroo men aur aakhir men hi apana hasy ka masala dal deta tha taki use katane men unhen achchhi khasi takalif ho. main sikhane ke lihaj se koee bhi mauka nahin chookata tha. main devalaping kaksh se aur sanpadan kaksh ke andar-bahar hota raha tha aur dekhata tha ki sanpadan karane vala kis tarah se kate hue tukadon ko aapas men jodata hai.

ab main is chinta men tha ki apani khud kee filmen likhoon aur unaka nirdeshan bhi karoon. is lihaj se mainne senet sahab se bat kee. lekin ve to is bare men kuchh sunane ko taiyar hi nahin the. isake bajaye unhonne mujhe mabel normad ke havale kar diya. unhonne abhi abhi hi apani khud kee filmon ka nirdeshan shuroo kiya tha. is bat ne mujhe chitt kar diya kyonki beshak mabel bala kee khoobasoorat thin, unakee nirdeshan kshamata par mujhe shak tha. isalie pahale hi din sir mundate hi ole pade. honi ho kar rahi. ham los enjels ke ek up nagar men lokeshan par the. ek sin men mabel mujhase chahati thin ki main sadak par ek hauj aur pani le kar khada hooon taki vilen kee kar us par fisal jaye. mainne sujhav diya ki main hauj paip par hi khada ho jata hoon taki pani bahar nahin aayega aur jab main anajane men usake nozal ko dekhata hoon aur hauj paip ke oopar se pair hatata hoon to pani kee bauchhar achanak mere chehare ko bhigo deti hai. lekin usane ye kah kar mera munh band kar diya,"hamare pas vakt nahin hai. hamare pas vakt nahin hai. vahi karo jo aapase karane ko kaha gaya hai."

ye bahut badi bat thi. main ise sahan nahin kar sakata tha aur vo bhi aisi khoobasoorat ladakee se,"maf karana, mis normad, main vahi nahin karoonga jo mujhe karane ke lie kaha gaya hai. mujhe nahin lagata ki aap itani liyakat rakhati hain ki mujhe bata saken ki mujhe kya karana chahiye."

ye drishy sadak ke bichon-bich filmaya jana tha aur main ise chhod kar chal diya aur ek puliya par ja kar baith gaya. pyari mabel, us vakt bichari matr bis baras kee thi, khoobasoorat aur aakarshak, har dil ajij, har koee use chahata tha, ab vah kaimare ke pas hairan pareshan baithi huee thi. aaj tak usase kisi ne sidhe bat tak nahin kee thi, main bhi usakee khoobasoorati, usake saundary aur usake aakarshan ka kayal tha, aur mere bhi dil ke kisi kone men usake nam ke chirag jalate the, lekin ye to mera kam tha. tatkal hi poora ka poora staf mabel ke charon taraf jhund bana kar khada ho gaya aur sammelan hone laga. mabel ne mujhe bad men bataya tha ki ek do ekstra to mujhe tabhi ke tabhi ragedana chahate the. lekin usi ne unhen aisa karane se mana kar diya. tab usane apane ek sahayak ko mere pas yah poochhane ke lie bheja ki kya main kam jari rakhane ke lie ichchhuk hoon. main sadak par kar us taraf gaya jahan vah baithi huee thi.,"main sharminda hoon," mainne mafi si mangate hue kaha, "mujhe nahin lagata ki ye mazakiya hai ya nahin lekin agar aap mujhe ekadh majakiya drishyon ke bare men sujhav dene kee anumati den to...."

usane koee bahas nahin kee. "thik hai," usane kaha,"agar aap vah nahin karate jo aapako bataya gaya hai to ham stoodiyo vapis chale chalate hain." halanki sthiti kharab thi, mainne har man li aur mainne kandhe uchakaye. hamane din ke kam ka jyada nukasan nahin kiya, kyonki ham subah nau baje se shooting kar rahe the. ab sham ke panch bajane ko aaye the, aur soory doobane kee taiyari kar raha tha.

stoodiyo men main apana griz pent utar raha tha ki senet sahab dresing room men danadanate hue aaye aur ekadam fat pade,"ye sab main kya sun raha hoon? kya lafada hai ye sab?"

mainne samajhane kee koshish kee,"kahani men ekadh halke fulke hasy kee zaroorat hai." mainne bataya, "lekin mis normad to kuchh sunane ke lie taiyar hi nahin hai."

"aap sirf vahi keejiye jo aapako karane ke lie kaha jata hai, nahin to yahan se dafa ho jaiye, karar hota hai ya nahin, bhad men jaye karar." ve bole.

main bahut hi shant bana huaa tha,"mistar senet, mainne javab diya,"main yahan aane se pahale bhi apani rozi roti kama raha tha, aur agar mujhe nikal bhi diya jata hai, to thik hai, main bahar ho jata hoon. lekin main vivekashil hoon aur main bhi aap hi kee tarah film ko behatar banane kee hi utana hi utsuk hoon."

bina ek shabd aur bole unhonne zor se daravaja band kar diya.

us rat stritakar men ghar jate samay mainne apane dost ko bataya ki kya huaa tha.

"bahut bura huaa. aap to bahut hi achchha karane ja rahe the." usane kaha.

"kya khyal hai, ve mujhe nikal bahar karenge?" mainne khush hote hue kaha taki apani chinta par parada dal sakoon.

"mujhe is bat par koee hairani nahin hogi. jab unhen aapake dresing room se jate hue dekha to ve achchhe khase ukhade hue nazar aa rahe the."

"mere sath ye bhi chalega. mere khise men pandrah sau dolar hain aur ye mere ingalaind vapis jane ke kiraye ke lie kafi hain. alabatta, main kal to aaoonga hi aur agar unhen meri zaroorat nahin hai to yahi sahi .

agale din subah mujhe aath baje kam par hazir hona tha, lekin main tay nahin kar pa raha tha ki jaoon ya nahin, isalie main dresing room men bina koee mek-ap kiye baitha raha. aath bajane men panch minat par senet sahab ne daravaje par apana chehara dikhaya. "charli, main tumase bat karana chahata hoon. chalo, mabel ke dresing room men chalen." unakee ton aashcharyajanak roop se dostana thi.

"kahiye mistar senet," mainne unake pichhe jate hue kaha.

mabel vahan par nahin thi. us vakt vah projekshan room men rashes dekh rahi thi.

"suno, maik bole,"mabel tumhari bahut badi prashansak hai. aur ham sab bhi tumhen bahut chahate hain. ham janate hain ki tum behatarin kalakar ho."

main is achanak hue parirvatan ko dekh kar hairan tha aur main tatkal pighalane bhi laga,"mere man men bhi mabel ke lie bahut adhik samman aur prashansa ke bhav hain," mainne kaha, "lekin mujhe nahin lagata ki usamen itani kshamata hai ki nirdeshan kar sake. aakhir vah ekadam yuva hi to hai."

"tum jo bhi socho, lekin bhagavan ke lie apane ahan ko pi jao aur is pachade men se nikalane men hamari madad karo." senet sahab mere kandhe par dhaul dhappa karate hue bole.

"..aur main bhi to yahi karane kee koshish kar raha hoon."

"to thik hai. usake sath sanbandh thik rakhane ke lie apani or se poori koshish karo."

"suniye, agar mujhe hi nirdeshan karane ka bhar saunp denge to aapako kisi bhi kism kee takalif nahin hogi." mainne kah hi diya.

maik ek pal ke lie thithake,"aur agar ham film riliz n kar paye to usaka harajana kaun bharega?"

"main uthaoonga kharcha." mainne javab diya,"main kisi bhi baink men pandrah sau dolar jama karava deta hoon. aur agar aap film riliz n kar paye to aap ye paise rakh sakate hain."

maik ek pal ke lie sochane lag,"koee kahani hai tumhare pas?"

"beshak, aap jitani marji kahaniyan chahen."

"to thik hai." maik bole,"mabel ke sath ye film poori kar lo fir ham dekhate hain."

ham donon ne nihayat hi dostana lahaje men hath milaye. bad men main mobel ke pas gaya aur usase kshama yachana kee. aur usi sham maik ham donon ko dinar par bahar le gaye. agale din mabel jitani madhurata bikher rahi thi, usase jyada priy nahin ho sakati thi. yahan tak ki usane mere sujhav bhi mange aur vichar bhi poochhe. is tarah, poori kaimara tim aur bakee kee kast ko hairan chhodate hue hamane khushi-khushi film poori kee. senet sahab ke nazariye men achanak aaye is parivartan se main hairan tha. alabatta, ye to mahinon ke bad mujhe ja kar isake pichhe ka ek karan pata chala. aise lagata hai ki hafte ke aakhir men senet mujhe naukari se nikalana chahate the, lekin jis subah mabel ke sath meri jhadap huee thi, maik ko nyoo yark karyalay se ek tar mila tha ki ve fatafat chaiplin kee aur filmen banayen kyonki vahan unakee bahut adhik mang ho gayi thi.

keeston dvara rilij kee jane vali komedi filmon ke aam taur par bis print banaye jate the. tis kee sankhya kafi safal mani jati thi. pichhali film, jo kram se chauthi thi, paintalis print kee sankhya tak ja pahunchi thi tatha atirikt pratiyon kee mang badhati hi ja rahi thi. maik sab ke dostana vyavahar ke pichhe ye tar hi kam kar raha tha.

un dinon nirdeshan ka ank ganit bahut hi sidha sada huaa karata tha. mujhe sirf yahi dekhana hota tha ki aane aur bahar jane ke lie disha dayin taraf thi ya bayin taraf. yadi koee kalakar bahar jate samay kaimare kee taraf pith karake gaya to vapasi men usaka chehara kaimare kee taraf hoga. alabatta, ye besik niyam the.

lekin aur adhik anubhav ke sath mainne paya ki kaimara ke rakhane kee jagah ka n keval manovaigyanik prabhav hota hai balki isase sin bhi banata bigadata hai. daraasal, yahi sinemaee shaili ka aadhar tha. yadi kaimara bahut nazadik ya bahut door rakh diya jaye to isase poora ka poora drishy ban bhi sakata hai aur poora prabhav bigad bhi sakata hai. ab choonki gati kee kifayat aapake lie mahattvaparn hoti hai, at: aap nahin chahate ki abhineta bina kisi vajah ke kaee kadam chale, han, jab tak isake lie koee khas karan n ho. isaka karan yah hai ki chalane men kuchh bhi dramaee nahin hai. isalie kaimare ko rakhane ka matalab kampojishan hona chahiye aur ye abhineta ke lie garimamay hona chahiye. kaimare ko kahan rakhana hai, ye bat sinemaee arth sanyojan kee hoti hai. is bat ke koee tay niyam nahin hai ki kloz ap se adhik achchhe parinam milate hain ya lang shot se behatar prabhav paida kiya ja sakata hai. kloj ap mahasoos karane kee chiz hai. kuchhek mamalon men lang shot se bahut achchhe prabhav paida kiye ja sakate hain.

isaka ek udaharan meri shuruaati komedi film sketing men dekha ja sakata hai. traimp ring men pravesh karata hai aur ek pair oopar karake sket karata hai. vah girata hai, ladakhadata hai aur aas-pas ke sab logon ko girata, ludhakata jata hai aur tarah tarah kee shararaten karata rahata hai. aakhir, vah sabako dharashayi karake door vale kone kee taraf ja kar darshakon ke bich yah dekhane ke lie bhola ban ke baith jata hai ki usane kya hangama barapa diya hai. yahan par traimp kee ye chhoti si aakriti hi bahut kuchh kah jati hai jo shayad kloj ap men utani majedar n ban pati.

jab mainne apani pahali film ka nirdeshan kiya to mujhamen itana aatm vishvas nahin tha jitana hona chahiye tha. daraasal, mujhe afara-tafari ka daura sa pad gaya tha. lekin jab senet sahab ne pahale din ka kam dekh liya to men aashvast ho gaya. film ka nam tha "kot in d rena". halanki ye vishv stariy film nahin thi lekin ye majedar thi aur kafi safal bhi rahi. jab mainne is poora kar liya to senet sahab kee pratikriya janane ko utsuk tha. projekshan room se unake bahar aane tak main unakee rah dekhata raha.

"to, bandhuvar, ek aur film shuroo karane ke lie taiyar ho?" poochha unhonne. usake bad se to mainne apani sabhi komedi filmen khud hi likhin aur nirdeshit bhi keen. ek protsahan ke roop men senet sahab ne pratyek film ke lie pachchis dolar ka bonas diya.

ab unhonne mujhe mano god hi le liya tha. ve roz rat ko mujhe khane par bahar le jate. ve mere sath doosari kampaniyon ke lie kahaniyan par charcha karate. aur main unake sath aise-aise pagalapan se bhare khyalat ke bare men bat karata jo kaee bar itane niji hote ki janata unhen samajh hi n pati. lekin senet unhen sunate aur unhen svikar kar lete.

ab jab mainne aam janata ke bich baith kar apani filmen dekhin to unakee pratikriya alag hi thi. keeston komedi kee ghoshana hote hi halachal aur uttejana, mere pahale-pahale aagaman ke sath hi, mere kuchh karane se pahale hi khushi bhari chikhen mere lie behad sukoon bhari hotin. main darshakon ke bich behad lokapriy hota ja raha tha. agar main apane jivan ko isi tarah se chalata rah pata to mere lie yahi santosh kee bat thi. apane bonas ke sath main do sau dolar har hafte ke kama raha tha.

ab choonki main apane kam men ulajha huaa tha ab mere pas elaikzendriya bar ya apane tana marane vale dost elmar elsavarth ke pas jane ka vakt hi nahin milata tha. alabatta, main use hafton bad ek din sadak par hi mil gaya. vah kahane laga,"are bhaee, suno to, main kuchh arase se tumhari filmen dekhata aa raha hoon. aur bhagavan kee kasam, tum kafi achchhe ho. tumhare pas jo kvaliti hai, vah yahan auron se bilakul hi alag hai. tumane pahali hi bar men apane bare men ye sab kyon nahi bata diya tha." han, ham bad men ja kar bahut achchhe dost ban gaye the.

aisa bahut kuchh tha jo mainne keeston se sikha aur badale men bahut kuchh keeston kampani ko sikhaya bhi. un dinon ve log takanik, stej kraft ya moovament ke bare men bahut kam janate the. main unake lie ye chijen thiyetar se le kar aaya. ve prakritik mook abhinay pentomaim ke bare men bhi bahut kam janate the. kisi sin ko blok karane ke lie nirdeshak tin ya char abhinetaon ko kaimare kee taraf munh karake sapat khada karava deta aur unamen se ek bahut khule havabhav ke sath apani or ishara karate hue mook abhinay karata, tab vah apani angoothi vali ungali kee taraf ishara karata, aur fir ladakee kee taraf ishara karata," main tumhari ladakee se shadi karana chahata hoon." unake mook abhinay se barikee ya prabhav dalane kee jara bhi gunjaish n bachati. isalie main unakee tulana men bis thaharata. un shuruaati filmon men mujhe pata tha ki mere paksh men kaee baten hain. aur ek bhoogarbhashas‍tree kee tarah main ek naye, samriddh aur ab tak achhoote kshetr men pravesh kar raha hoon. mera khyal hai, vah mere kairiyar ka sabase adhik romanchak kal tha, kyonki main kuchh aashcharyajanak karane kee dahalij par tha.

safalata aapako pyara bana deti hai aur main stoodiyo men sabaka parichit dost ban gaya. main ekstra logon ke lie, stej par kam karane valon ke lie aur vardarob vibhag ke lie aur kaimaramen ke lie charli tha. halanki main chane ke jhad par chadhane valon men se nahin hoon, fir bhi sach men ye baten mujhe khush karati hi thin kyonki main janata tha ki is antarangata ka matalab hi yahi hai ki main safal ho raha hoon.

ab mujhe apane vicharon men aatmavishvas nazar aane laga tha. aur main soch sakata hoon ki senet beshak meri tarah kala akshar bhains barabar hi the, unhen apani pasand par bharosa tha aur yahi bharosa unhonne mujhamen bhi paida kiya. unake kam karane ke tarike ne mujhe aatm vishvas badhaya. stoodiyo men unakee pahale din kee tippani,"hamare pas koee sineriyo nahin hota, ham ek aaidiya pakad lete hain. aur fir usi kee lik par svabhavik parinnati par chal dete hain." isase meri kalpana shakti ko naye pankh lage the.

is tarah se filmen banana bahut uttejanapoorn kam tha. thiyetar men main rat dar rat vahi bandhi bandhayi lik par vah sab kuchh jad, bandhi-bandhayi dinacharya doharane ko majaboor tha. ek bar stej ka karobar dekh liye jane aur tay kar liye jane ke bad unamen kuchh naya dalane kee koee kabhi sochata bhi nahin tha. thiyetar men kam karane kee ek hi prerit karane vali vajah hoti thi aur vah yah thi ki achchha kam ya bura kam. lekin filmon men jyada aazadi thi. unamen mujhe romanch ka anubhav hota tha.

"is aaidiya ke bare men tum kya sochate ho?" senet kahate ya fira

"pata hai shahar men mukhy bazar men badh aayi huee hai!" is tarah kee tippani se hi keeston kee kamedi kee shuruaat hoti thi. ye ek bandh lene vali mohak khuli hava thi jo shanadar thi...vyakti kee srijanatmakata ke lie chunauti.

ye sab itana khula-khula aur sahaj raha...koee sahity nahin, koee lekhak nahin, ham sab mil kar ek vichar ka tana bana bunate, usake aas-pas hansi thitholi kee baten bandhate aur jaise-jaise aage badhate jate, kahani aakar lene lagati.

udaharan ke lie, hij prihistarik past men mainne hansi kee ek hi bat se shuroo kiya aur vah meri pahali entri se thi. main khal lapet ke ek pragaitihasik aadami ke roop men entri leta hoon aur jaise-jaise main laindaskep ko dekhata parakhata hoon, main apana paip bharane ke lie odhi huee bhaloo kee khal men se bal nochane lagata hoon. ye aaidiya apane aapamen kafi tha pragaitihasik kal kee katha bunane men. isamen pyar tha, dushmani thi, mara mari thi aur pichha karo ke drishy the. yahi tarika tha jise keeston men ham sab apanaya karate the.

main apani filmon men komedi ke alava aur naye aayam jodane kee apani lalak ke shuruaati prerak palon ko yad kar sakata hoon. main da' nyoo jenitar nam kee ek film men kam kar raha tha. isamen ek drishy tha jisamen karyalay ka mainejar mujhe naukari se nikal deta hai. usake samane gidagidate hue ki vah mujh par raham khaye aur mujhe naukari men rahane de, mainne is bat ka mook abhinay shuroo kar diya ki mere dher sare chhote chhote bachche hain. tabhi mainne paya ki dorothi devenaport nam kee ek vriddh nayika ek taraf riharsal dekh rahi thi. achanak us par meri nigah padi to main ye dekh kar hairan rah gaya ki vah ro rahi thi. usane bataya,"mujhe pata hai ki aap yahan hansana chahate hain. lekin aapane to mujhe rula hi diya." usane ek aisi bat kee pushti kee jise main pahale se hi mahasoos kar raha tha. mujhamen yah kabaliyat thi ki main hansane ke sath-sath rula bhi sakoon.

agar saundary ka asar nahin hota to stoodiyo ka mardana mahaul sahan karana mushkil ho jata. sachamuch mabel nomard kee maujoodagi stoodiyo ko garima pradan karati thi. vah behad khoobasoorat thi, usakee bhari-bhari aankhen, bhare bhare honth jo usake munh ke kanon se mulayam tarike se mud jate the jo hasy ko aur har tarah kee bhavana, ada ko abhivyakt karate the. vah dil kee bahut achchhi thi, halke fulke mood men aur khush rahati thi, usake dil men daya thi aur vah udaramana thi; har koee use chahata tha.

vardaroom kee mahila ke bachche ke prati mabel kee udarata ke kisse sunane men aate the, kaimaramain ke sath usake mazak kee baten sunayi detin. mabel mujhase bhaee bahan ke jaisa pyar karati thi, aur isakee ek vajah yah thi ki us samay vah maik ke pyar men buri tarah se pagal thi. maik ke karan hi mujhe mabel ko itana adhik janane ka mauka mila. ham tinon aksar ek sath bahar khana khate, usake bad maik hotal kee lobi men so jata. ham ye ekadh ghanta film dekh kar kaife men hi guzar dete. tab vapis aakar ham maik ko jagate, koee soch sakata hai ki is tarah kee nikatata kisi tarah ke romans men badal jati, lekin aisa kuchh bhi nahin huaa. durbhagy se ham donon achchhe mitr bane rahe.

han, ek bar aisa zaroor huaa ki main, mabel, rosko aorabakkal sain franssiko men ek thiyetar men ek chairiti ke lie ek sath manch par aaye to main aur mabel ek doosare ke kafi nikat aa gaye aur bhavanatmak roop se jud gaye. ye ek bahut hi shanadar sham thi aur ham tinon ne manch par bahut hi behatarin pradarshan kiya tha, mabel apana kot dresing room men hi chhod aayi thi. usane mujhase kaha ki main use vahan le jaoon taki vah kot la sake. aorabakkal aur bakee log niche kar men intazar kar rahe the. ek pal ke lie ham donon akele the. vah us samay alaukik saundary kee devi lag rahi thi aur jab mainne usaka kot usake kandhe par dala to mainne use choom liya. badale men usane bhi mujhe chooma. ham aur bhi aage badh gaye hote, lekin log niche intazar kar rahe the. bad men mainne mamale ko aage badhane kee koshish kee, lekin koee bhi natija samane nahin aaya.

"nahin charli," usane bahut achchhe mood men hansate hue kaha,"main tumhari tarah kee nahin hoon aur n hi tum meri hi tarah ke ho."

lagabhag usi samay ke dauran dayamand jim bradi los enjels aaye. us samay holivud ka janm abhi hona tha. ve doli bahanon aur usake patiyon ke sath pahunche aur dil khol kar kharch kiya. unhonne elekjendriya hotal men jo dinar diya usamen doli bahanen, unake pati, karalota monteri, lou telegen, sarah barnahart ke pramukh nayak, maik senet, mabel normad, blanshe svit, nait gudavin aur kaee doosare log shamil hue. doli bahanen gazab kee khoobasoorat lag rahi thin. donon bahanen aur un donon ke pati aur unake sath dayamand jim braidi, in sabake bich dant kati roti vala mamala tha. hamesha in sabaka ek sath rahana ulajhan men dalata tha.

dayamand jim braidi ek adbhut amerikee charitr the. ve vinamr jon bul sarikhe dikhate the. pahali rat to main apani aankhon par hi vishvas nahin kar saka kyonki unhonne hire ke kaf link aur shart frant par stad pahane hue the aur harek hira shiling ke aakar se bhi bada tha. kuchh hi raton ke bad hamane tat par nat gudavin kaife men ek sath khana khaya to is bar dayamand jim braidi apane panne ke set ke sath nazar aaye. is bar to harek panna chhoti machis kee dibiya se bhi bada tha. pahale to mainne yahi samajha ki unhonne ye sab mazak ke taur par pahane hue hain aur bholepan men unase poochh bhi liya ki kya ye asali hain. unhonne bataya,"ye asali hi hain."

"lekin hain ye shanadar," mainne hairan hote hue kaha. "agar tum sachamuch khoobasoorat panne dekhana chahate ho to ye dekho," aur un‍honne apana drags vestakot oopar utha diya aur mujhe apani belt dikhayi. ye kvinsaberi chaimpiyanaship kee belt jitani badi thi aur poori kee poori pannon se bhari huee thi. mainne aaj tak itane bade panne nahin dekhe the. ve mujhe bahut garv se bata rahe the ki unake pas beshakeemati hiron vagairah ke poore das set hain aur ve har rat unhen badal badal kar pahanate hain.

1914 chal raha tha aur main pachchis baras ka hone ko aaya tha. mujhamen javani paith rahi thi aur main apane kam men masaroof tha. main usase kam kee safalata ke lie nahin juda huaa tha balki isake mauj maje ke lie hi nahin balki isase mujhe har tarah ke filmi abhinetaon se bhi milane ka mauka milata raha tha. kabhi n kabhi main un sabaka fain raha tha. mairi pikaford, blanshe svit, miriyam koopar, klara kimabail yang, gish bahanen tatha doosare log, ve sab kee sab khoobasoorat thin aur unase roo b roo milana sukh deta tha.

thomas ins apane stoodiyo men sink kabab kee partiyon aur nrity ke karyakram rakhate. ye stoodiyo nardarn santa monika ke jangalon men tha aur prashant mahasagar ke samane padata tha. kya to madamast rat huaa karati thi - javani aur khoobasoorati; muktakash manch par madak sangit par jhoom jhoom kar thirakana aur pas hi samudr tat par se takarati laharon kee mand mand svar lahariyan baj rahi hotin.

pegi piyars beintaha khoobasoorat ladakee thi. usaka naram jism jaise barikee se tarasha gaya ho, khoobasoorat gori gardan, aur sammohak dehayashti. mere dil men halachal macha dene vali vah pahali aurat thi. keeston men mere aane ke tisare hafte tak usake darshan nahin hue the kyonki un dinon vah floo se pidit thi. lekin jis pal ham mile, usi pal se ek dooje ke dil mil gaye, chingari bhadakee aur ham ek doosare ke ho gaye. mera dil ga utha. ve subahen kitani roomani huaa karati thin. har subah is ummid ke sath kam par aana ki us mohatarama ke didar honge. ravivar ke din main usake mata pita ke apartament men usase milane chala jata. har rat hamara milan pyar par svikriti kee muhar lagata, har rat sangharsh men bitati. han, pegi mujhase pyar karati thi, lekin ye ek khoye hue pyar ka mamala tha. vah bar bar apane aapako rokati. yahan tak ki mainne nirash ho kar koshish hi chhod di. us vakt meri yah halat thi ki kisi se bhi shadi karane men meri dilachaspi nahin thi. mere lie aazadi bahut bada romanch tha. koee bhi aurat us dhundhali chhavi par khari nahin utarati thi jo mainne apane man men basa rakhi thi.

harek stoodiyo ek parivar kee tarah tha. saptah bhar men film poori ho jaya karati thi aur fichar kee lambaee vali film ko poora karane men do ya tin saptah se adhik ka samay nahin lagata tha. ham sooraj kee raushani men kam karate the isilie ham kailiforniya men kam karate the; yah kaha jata tha ki vahan par har baras nau mahine tak dhoop chamakati rahati hai. klig laiton ka aavishkar 1915 ke aas pas huaa tha; lekin keeston kampani ne unhen kabhi bhi istemal nahin kiya kyonki ve laharadar hoti thin, soory kee raushani kee tarah saf nahin hoti thin aur laimpon ko set karane men bahut vakt zaya hota tha. keeston kee komedi ko banane men mushkil se ek saptah ka samay lagata tha. daraasal, mainne tventi minatas aof lav nam kee ek film to dopahar men hi poori kar dali thi aur maze kee bat yah ki isamen shuroo se le kar aakhir tak thahake hi thahake the. dav end dayanamik nam kee ek behad safal film ko banane men nau din lage the aur isakee lagat aayi thi attharah sau dolar. ab choonki main ek hazar dolar ke bajat ko par kar gaya tha, jo ki keeston komedi kee adhikatam sima huaa karati thi, mujhe pachchis dolar ke bonas ka nuksan uthana pada. senet ka kahana tha ki filmen apani lagat nikal saken isaka ek hi tarika hai ki do do ril kee filmen banayi jayen aur ve karate bhi yahi the. inase pahale hi baras men ek sau tis hajar dolar kee kamaee huee.

ab main is bat ka dava kar sakata tha ki main kaee safal filmen bana chuka hoon. inamen tventi minatas aof lav, dav end dayanamik, lafing gais tatha d stej aadi shamil thin. isi arase ke dauran main aur mabel normad mairi dresalar nam kee ek fichar film men ek sath aaye. mairi ke sath kam karana sukhad anubhav tha. lekin mujhe nahin lagata ki film koee bahut oonchi chiz ban payi thi. main ek bar fir se filmon ka nirdeshan karane men jut gaya.

mainne senet sahab se sidani kee sifarish kee. ab choonki chaiplin nam ja hi raha tha, hamare hi parivar ke ek aur sadasy ke nam ko shamil karane men unhen khushi hi honi thi. senet sahab ne use ek baras ke lie do sau dolar prati saptah ke vetan par karar kar liya. ye vetan mere vetan se pachchis dolar prati saptah adhik tha. sidani aur usakee patni taze taze ingalaind se aaye hue us vakt stoodiyo pahunche jis vakt main lokeshan ke lie nikalane vala tha. bad men sham ke vakt hamane ek sath khana khaya. mainne poochha ki ingalaind men meri filmon ka kya hal hai.

usane bataya ki mera nam aane se pahale hi kaee myoojik holon ke kalakaron ne use amerikee sinema ke ek naye kamediyan ke bare men utsah poorvak batana shuroo kar diya tha jise unhonne abhi abhi dekha tha.

sidani ne mujhe ye bhi bataya ki us vakt jab usane meri koee bhi komedi film dekhi nahin thi, vah film eksachenj ke daftar men yah poochhane gaya tha ki ye filmen kab rilij hongi aur jab usane bataya ki vah kaun hai to unhonne use tinon filmen dekhane ke lie aamantrit kiya. usane projekshan room men akele baith kar ye filmen dekhin aur lagatar pagalon kee tarah hansata hi raha.

"in sab ke bare men tumhari kya pratikriya hai?"

sidani ne jo kuchh kaha usamen kuchh bhi hairan hone vali bat nahin thi, "oh, main janata tha ki tum behatarin hi karoge." usane vishvasapoorvak kaha.

maik senet los enjels ethaletik klab ke sadasy hone ke nate is bat ke adhikari the ki ve apane kisi dost ko ek asthayi sadasyata kard de saken aur is tarah se unhonne mujhe ek kard de diya. yah shahar men sabhi chhade logon aur karobariyon ka adda huaa karata tha - ek bahut bada klab jisamen pahali manjil par ek bada sa daining room aur ek launj the. ye sham ke vakt mahilaon ke lie bhi khul jate the aur inake alava ek kokatel bar tha.

mujhe sabase oopari manzil par ek kone vala kamara mila huaa tha jisamen ek piyano rakha huaa tha aur thi chhoti si laiberi. ye kamara moz haimbargar ke kamare ke bagal men tha. ve me dipartamental sentar ke malik the. ye stor shahar ka sabase bada stor huaa karata tha. klab men rahane ka kharch un dinon bahut hi mamooli huaa karata karata tha. main apane kamare ke lie prati saptah barah dolar ada kiya karata tha aur isamen klab kee sari suvidhaen masalan, bada sa jimnashiyam, taran tal, aur behatarin sevaen shamil thin. sari baten hone ke bavajood main pichahattar dolar prati saptah kharch karate hue aalishan dhang se raha karata tha. inhin dolaron men se main drink ke ekadh raund aur kabhi kabhar ke dinar ke paise bhi rakhata.

klab ke logon ke bich ek tarah ka bhaeechara tha jise pahale vishv yuddh kee ghoshana bhi bhang nahin kar payi thi. har koee yahi soch raha tha ki ladaee to chh: mahine men nipat jayegi ya jaisa ki lord kichanar ne anuman lagaya tha ki ye char baras tak chalegi, log bag bekar men sochate the. kaee log to is bat se hi khush the ki yuddh kee ghoshana ho gayi hai kyonki ab ham jarman logon ko dikha denge. natije nikalane ka koee saval hi nahin tha, angrej aur french unhen chh: mahine men hi dhool chata denge. yuddh abhi tak apane charam tak nahin pahuncha tha aur kailiforniya asali yuddh kee zamin se khasa door tha.

lagabhag yahi samay tha jab senet mera karar fir ne naya karane kee bat kar rahe the aur meri sharten janana chah rahe the. main kuchh had tak to apani lokapriyata ke bare men janata hi tha, lekin main apani safalata kee kshan bhangurata ke bare men bhi janata tha, aur ye bhi janata tha ki agar main isi gati se chalata raha to ek hi baras men chuk jaoonga. isalie mujhe, jitana bhi ho sake, bator lena hoga. mat chooke chauhan vali sthiti thi.

"main ek hazar dolar prati saptah chahata hoon," mainne jan boojh kar kaha.

senet bigad uthe,"lekin itana to main bhi nahin kamata."

"main janata hoon." mainne javab diya, "lekin thiyetaron ke bahar jo lainen lagati hain ve aapake nam ke lie nahin balki mere nam ke lie lagati hain."

"ho sakata hai," senet bole,"lekin hamari sanstha kee madad ke bina tum kho jaoge." unhonne chetaya, "dekha nahin, ford starling ka kya hal ho raha hai?"

ye sach tha. ford starling keeston kampani chhod dene ke bad bahut achchha nahin kar pa rahe the. lekin mainne senet sahab se kaha,"mujhe komedi banane ke lie sirf ek park, ek pulisavale aur ek khoobasoorat ladakee kee zaroorat hoti hai." aur sach to ye tha ki mainne sirf isi tamajham ke sath kaee atyant safal filmen banakar dikha di thin.

is bich senet ne apane bhagidaron, kaisel end baumain ko tar de kar mere karar aur meri mang ke bare men unakee salah mangi thi. bad men senet mere pas ek prastav le kar aaye,"suno, abhi tumhare char mahine bakee hain. ham tumhara karar fad denge aur abhi se panch sau dalar hafte ke denge. agale baras sat sau dolar aur usake bad ek baras men pandrah sau dolar denge. is tarah se tumhen hajar dolar prati saptah mil jaya karenge."

"maik," mainne javab diya, "agar aap is shart ko thik ulata kar den to aap pahale baras men mujhe pandrah sau dolar, doosare baras men sat sau dolar aur tisare baras men panch sau den to main le loonga."

"lekin ye to pagalapan se bhara vichar hai."

is tarah se isake bad karar ko naya karane kee koee bat hi nahin huee.

abhi keeston men mera ek mahina bakee tha aur ab tak kisi aur kampani ne mere samane koee prastav nahin rakha tha. main narvas ho raha tha aur main kalpana kar raha tha ki senet is bat ka janate hain aur kisi tarah apana samay poora karane ke chakkar men the. aam taur par film khatm hone par ve mere pas aate the aur mujhe mazak men jaldi se doosari film shuroo karane ke bare men ukasate the. aur ab halanki mainne pichhale do saptah se koee kam nahin kiya tha, ve mujhase door door hi rahe the. ve vinamr lekin alag thalag bane rahe.

is sabake bavajood mere aatm vishvas ne kabhi bhi mera sath nahin chhoda. agar kisi ne bhi mere samane prastav n rakha to main apane aap hi dhandha shuroo kar doonga. kyon nahin. main aatm vishvas se bhara huaa tha aur apane aap men nirbhar bhi tha. main janata tha ki thik kis vakt is bhavana ne janm liya tha. main stoodiyo kee divar ka sahara le kar ek mang parchi bhar raha tha.

sidani ne keeston kampani men aane ke bad kaee safal filmen banayin. ek film jisane poori duniya men rikard hi tod dale vah thi - d sabamairin pailat? isamen sidani ne har tarah kee kaimara trik ka sahara liya. choonki vah itana adhik safal tha, mainne usase sampark kiya aur usase mere sath mil kar apani khud kee kampani banane ke bare men ray mangi.

"hamen sirf ek kaimara aur ek traik lait chahiye." mainne use bataya. lekin sidani dakiyanoosi tha. use laga, ye sab kuchh jyada hi jokhim lene vala mamala hoga. isake alava, usane kaha, "main itani achchhi pagar, jitani mainne apani poori jindagi men nahin kamayi hai, kaise chhod doon." is tarah se vah ek aur baras ke lie keeston kampani ke sath hi bana raha.

ek din mujhe yunivarsal kampani ke karl laeemle kee taraf se ek telifon sandesh mila. ve mujhe ek fut ke barah sent dene aur meri filmon ke lie vitt jutane ke lie taiyar the. lekin ve mujhe hafte ke ek hajar dolar ka vetan nahin denge. ise dekhate hue mamala aage nahin badha.

jess robins nam ke ek yuva, jo aisene kampani ka pratinidhi tha, ne kaha ki usane suna hai ki main koee bhi karar par hastakshar karane se pahale das hazar dalar ka bonas aur sadhe barah sau dolar prati saptah ka vetan chahata hoon. ye mere lie khabar thi. jab tak usane zikr nahin kiya tha, mainne das hazar dalar ke bonas kee kalpana bhi nahin kee thi. lekin us sukhad pal ke bad se ye vichar mere dimag men tank gaya.

us rat mainne robins ko dinar par aamantrit kiya aur use hi sari baten karane din. usane bataya ki vah sidhe hi aisene kampani ke ji em endarasan ke pas se chala aa raha hai. log unhen branko bili ke nam se bhi janate hain. endarasan mistar jarj ke spooar ke bhagidar hain aur unaka prastav hai ki ve barah sau pachas dolar prati saptah dene ke lie taiyar hain lekin vah bonas ke bare men kuchh nahin kah sakata. mainne kandhe uchakaye,"yahi adachan kaee logon ke sath hai." mainne bat aage badhayi,"unake pas bade bade prastav to hain lekin ve nakad narayan kee bat hi nahin karana chahate." bad men usane sain fransisko men endarasan ko fon kiya aur use bataya ki dil ho gayi hai lekin main das hajar nakad bonas ke roop men tatkal chahata hoon. vah mej par chahakata huaa vapis aaya, "dil pakkee samajhen. aur kal aapako das hazar dolar nakad mil jayenge."

main sataven aasaman par tha. prastav itana shanadar tha ki sach nahin lagata tha. lekin ye sach tha kyonki agale hi din robinsan ne mere hath men keval chh: sau dolar ka chek thama diya aur bataya ki mistar endarasan agale din khud hi los enjels aa rahe hain aur bakee sab ve khud hi nipat lenge. endarasan utsah se bhare hue aaye aur dil ke bare men aashvast kiya lekin das hazar dolar ka koee jikr nahin,"mere partanar mistar spooar shikago pahunch kar is mamale ko dekh lenge."

halanki mere shak ne sir uthana shuroo kar diya tha lekin mainne aashavad ke chalate apane shak ko dafanane ka hi faisala kiya. abhi bhi keestan kampani ke sath mere do saptah bakee the. apani antim film hiz prihistarik past ka poora kar pana mere lie khasa tanavabhara kam tha, kyonki itane adhik karobari prastavon ke sath us par dhyan kendrit kar pana mere lie mushkil tha, isake bavajood mainne aakhir film poori kar hi di.

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(kramashah agale ankon men)

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tag : charlie chaplin, autobiography of charlie chaplin in Hindi, hindi translation of charlie chaplin’s autobiography, suraj prakash

charli chaiplin kee aatmakatha (5)

Posted: 31 Aug 2008 12:05 AM PDT

meri aatmakatha

image

charli chaiplina

 

charli chaiplin kee aatmakatha

-anuvad : sooraj prakasha

suraj prakash

(pichhale ank 4 se jari…)

sata

1909 men main peris gaya. foliz berajere ne karno kampani ko ek mahine kee simit avadhi ke lie pradarshan karane ke lie anubandhit kiya tha. main doosare desh men jane ke khyal se hi kitana uttejit tha. yatra shuroo karane se pahale hamane ek saptah ke lie voolavich men pradarshan kiye. ye ek vahiyat shahar men bitaya gaya vahiyat aur sadan bhara saptah tha aur main parivartan kee rah dekh raha tha. hamen ravivar kee subah nikalana tha. mujhase gadi, bilkul chhootane vali hi thi. kisi tarah bhag kar mainne pletafarm se chhootati gadi pakadi. main saman vala aakhiri dibba hi pakad paya tha. un dinon mujhe gadiyan mis karane men maharat hasil thi.

chainal par tej dhoonaadhar barasat hone lagi. lekin kohare men lipate frans ko pahali najar se dekhana kabhi n bhoolane vala romanchak anubhav tha. ...ye ingalaind nahin hai. mujhe apane aapako bar-bar yad dilana pad raha tha. ye mahaddhip hai. frans. mainne apani kalpana men hamesha ise dekhane kee apil kee thi. mere pita aadhe french the. daraasal, chaiplin parivar moolat: frans se ingalaind men aaya tha. ve fransisi protaistent isaee hyoog nots ke vakt ingalaind kee dharati par utare the. pita ke chacha aksar garv se kaha karate ki ek fransisi janaral ne chaiplin parivar kee ingalaind shakha kee ninv rakhi thi.

ye dhalati sharad ritu ke din the. aur kailais se peris tak kee yatra bemaza thi. isake bavajood, jaise-jaise ham peris ke nikat pahunchate gaye, meri uttejana badhati chali gayi. ham andhere, akele ganvon se guzar kar ja rahe the. dhire-dhire dhoosar aasaman men hamane raushani ke darshan kiye.... vo hi hai peris ka pratibinb, gadi men hamare sath yatra kar rahe ek french aadami ne bataya.

peris men vah sab kuchh tha jisakee main ummid kar raha tha. gare doo nord se roo jyofre mari tak kee yatra ne mujhe uttejana aur adhairy se bhar diya. main har nukkad par utar kar paidal chalana chahata tha. is samay sham ke sat baj rahe the. kaife se aamantrit karati si sunahari battiyan chamak rahi thi. aur unake bahar saji mezen jivan ke aanand kee baten kar rahi thin. kuchhek karon ke naye aagaman ke alava ye abhi bhi maune, pisaro tatha renoir ka hi peris tha. ravivar ka din tha aur lag raha tha jaise har aadami utsav ke mood men hai. utsav aur ullas vahan kee fijan men the. yahan tak ki rooo jyofre mari men mera patthar kee divaron vala kamara jise main apani karagar kahata tha, mere utsah ko daba nahin paya kyonki sara vakt to main bis‍tra aur kaife ke bahar lagi mezon par hi baitha rahata tha.

ravivar kee rat fri thi. isalie ham foliz berajere men sho dekh paye. hamen yahin par agale somavar se apana natak shuroo karana tha. mainne socha ki koee bhi thiyetar itane adhik glaimar ke sath, apani chamak-damak aur that-bat ke sath apane darpanon aur bade bade sfatik ke fanooson ke sath chamaka nahin tha. mote-mote kalin bichhe foyar men tatha dres sarkil men sari duniya maujood thi. badi-badi gulabi ratn jadit pagadiyan bandhe bharatiy yuvaraj, kalagi lage topon men french aur tarkee adhikari jo sharab gharon men koniyak kee chuskiyan lete nazar aa rahe the. bahar kee or bade foyar men sangit kee lahariyan baj rahi thin aur mahilaen apani poshakon ko aur apane far koton ko sahejati, sanbhalati ghoom rahi thin aur apane sangamaramari safed kandhon kee jhalak dikha rahi thin. ve aisi mahilaon ka sansar tha jinhen foyar men bane rahane aur dres sarkal men maujood rahane kee lat lagi huee thi aur ve chaturaee se vahan apani maujoodagi darj karatin aur chahakati firatin. ve un dinon vakaee khoobasoorat aur vinamr huaa karatin.

foliz berajere men vyavasayik dubhashiye bhi the jo apani topi par dubhashiya ka billa lagaye thiyetar ke foyar men ghoomate rahate. mainne unamen se pramukh dubhashiye se dosti kar li jo bahut sari bhashaen dhadalle se bol sakata tha.

sham ko apane pradarshan ke bad main apani stej kee sham vali poshak pahan leta aur maza marane valon kee bhid men shamil ho jata. unamen se mujhe ek aisi hasina mili jisane mera dil hi chhin liya. is tanvangi hasina kee gardan hansanuma thi aur usakee rangat safed thi. vo chhokari chharahari thi aur behad khoobasoorat thi. usakee sutavan nak aur lambi gahari barauniyan thin. usane kali makhamali poshak pahani huee thi aur hathon men safed dastane the. jab vah dres sarkal kee sidhiyan chadhane lagi to usane apana ek dastana gira diya. mainne lapak kar usaka dastana utha liya.

"..maf karana "usane kaha

"kash, aap ise ek bar fir giratin!" mainne badamashi se kaha.

"maf karana?"

tab mainne mahasoos kiya ki use angreji nahin aati aur mujhe french bolani nahin aati. isalie main bhaga-bhaga apane dubhashie dost ke pas gaya,"udhar ek bala kee khoobasoorat ladakee khadi hai jisane meri kamukata jagrit kar di hai. lekin vah khasi mahangi lag rahi hai."

usane kandhe uchakaye,"ek luis se jyada nahin,"

"tak to thik hai," mainne kaha, halanki un dinon ek luis bhi achchhi khasi rakam huaa karati thi. mainne socha, aur ye thi bhi.

mainne dubhashie se ek postakard kee doosari taraf kaee french abhivyaktiyan likhava kar rakh li thin jaise jab se mainne aapako dekha hai, main hosh kho baitha hoon. ityadi jinhen main aise pavitr maukon par istemal karane ka irada rakhata tha. mainne dubhashie se kaha ki vah shuruaati dhandhedari kee baten karava de aur usane hamare lie doot ka kam kiya. idhar se udhar sandeshon ka adan pradan karata raha. aakhir vah vapis aaya aur kahane laga,"sab kuchh tay ho gaya hai. ek luis men. lekin tumhen usake ghar tak jane aur vapis aane ka taiksi ka kiraya dena hoga."

main ek pal ke lie chakaraya,"vah rahati kahan hai?" mainne poochha.

"kiraye men das sent se jyada nahin lagenge."

das sents kee rakam dil dahala dene vali thi kyonki mainne is atirikt kharch kee ummid hi nahin kee thi. mainne majak men poochha,"kya vo paidal nahin chal sakati?"

"suno, ladakee aala darje kee chiz hai. sirf kiraye ke lie lafada mat karo." usane bataya.

main aakhir taiyar ho gaya.

jab sab kuchh tay kar liya gaya to main dres sarkal kee sidhiyon par usake pas se gujara. vah muskurayi aur mainne mud kar usakee taraf dekha...."aaj sham!"

"achchhi bat hai mahashaya"

choonki hamare pradarshan poora hone men taim tha, mainne usase vayada kiya ki ham pradarshan ke bad vahin milate hain. mere dost ne kaha,"tum taiksi mangana aur main tab tak ladakee lekar aaoonga, isase taim barabad nahin hoga."

"taim barabad?"

hamari gadi jab boleviyar de italiyans ke pas gujari to usake chehare par raushani aur chhaya ke chahabachche athakheliyan kar rahe the. mainne apane postakard par likhi french par udati si nigah dali aur usase kaha..."aap mujhe bahut achchhi lagi hain!"

vah apane safed chamakeele dant jhalakati huee hansi,"aap bahut achchhi french bol lete hain."

main bhavuk ho kar aage bolata raha," jab se mainne aapako dekha hai, main hosh kho baitha hoon."

vah fir hansi aur usane meri french sudhari...aur samajhaya ki main anaupacharik jaban ka istemal karoon aur use too ya tum kahoon. usane isake bare men socha aur fir hansi. tab usane apani ghadi kee taraf dekha. lekin ghadi band ho gayi thi. tab usane ishare se bataya ki vah samay janana chahati hai. aur bataya ki thik barah baje use ek bahut hi jaroori epaintament par jana hai.

"aaj sham to nahin," mainne jhijhakate hue javab diya.

"han aaj sham hi"

"lekin aap to aaj kee poori sham ke lie ingej hain mohatarama? poori rat ke lie"

vah achanak badahavas dikhane lagi,"oh, nahin, nahin, poori rat ke lie nahin."

isake bad vah jid pa aa gayi,"filahal ke lie bis frank!"

"ye kya hai?" usane jor de kar javab diya.

"aayam sauri," mainne kaha,"mera khyal hai ham taiksi yahin rukava den."

aur tab taiksi ko use faliz berajere men vapis chhod aane ka bhada de kar main taiksi se utar gaya. us samay mujhase jyada udas, aur mohabhang aadami kaun raha hoga.

hamen faliz berajere men das hafte tak pradarshan karane the kyonki ham bahut adhik safal ja rahe the lekin karno sahab kee doosari buking thi. mera vetan chh: paund prati saptah tha aur main isakee paee paee kharch kar raha tha. mere bhaee sidani ka ek kazin, jo usake pita kee or se usaka koee lagata tha, mere parichay men aaya. vah amirajada tha aur tathakathit uchch varg se nata rakhata tha. jin dinon vah peris men tha, usane mujhe khoob samay bhi diya aur ghumaya bhi. use bhi stej ke keede ne kata tha aur vah stej ka is had tak divana tha ki usane apani moonchhen tak mundava dalin taki vah hamari hi mandali ke kisi sadasy jaisa lag sake aur use baik stej men aane diya jaye.

durbhagy se use ingalaind laut jana pada, jahan mera khyal hai ki usake man bap ne usakee achchhi khasi sikaee kee aur use usake mahan mata pita ne dakshin afrika bhej diya.

peris men jane se pahale mainne suna tha ki haitti kee mandali bhi faliz berajere men hi pradarshan kar rahi hai, isalie mujhe poora yakeen tha ki usase vahan par mulakat ho jayegi. jis rat main vahan pahuncha to main baik stej men gaya aur usake bare men poochhatachh kee. lekin vahan par ek baile ladakee se mujhe pata chala ki unakee mandali ek hafta pahale hi masko ke lie ravana ho chukee hai. jis vakt main us ladakee se baten kar raha tha, sidhiyon se ek bahut hi rookhi aavaj sunayi di,"turant idhar aao, ajanabiyon se bat karane kee tumhari himmat kaise huee?" ye ladakee kee man thi. mainne samajhane kee koshish kee ki main to sirf apani ek mitr ke bare men janakari lena chah raha tha lekin man ne meri taraf koee dhyan nahin diya,"us aadami se bat karane kee koee zaroorat nahin hai. chalo ekadam andar aa jao."

main usakee is badatamiji par khasa khafa huaa. alabatta, bad men main usaka achchha parichit ban gaya. vah bhi usi hotal men hi rahati thi jisamen main ruka huaa tha. usakee do ladakiyan thin jo faliz berajere baile kee sadasyaen thi. unamen se chhoti vali terah baras kee thi aur mukhy adakara thi. vah sundar aur vidushi thi jabaki pandrah baras kee badi vali n to sundar thi aur n hi usamen akkal hi thi. man french thin bhare poore sharir kee malakin thin. unakee umr chalis baras ke aas pas thi. unhonne ek skotamain se shadi rachaee thi aur vah ingalaind men rahata tha. jab hamane faliz berajere men apane pradarshan shuroo kiye to ve mere pas aayin aur mafi mangane lagin ki ve itane behoode tarike se pesh aayi thin. ye ek bahut hi shanadar dostana sanbandh kee shuruaat thi. mujhe aksar unake kamare men chay ke lie bula liya jata. chay ve log bedaroom men hi banaya karati thin.

main ab jab pichhe mud kar dekhata hoon to main behad masoom tha. ek dopahar ko jab bachchiyan bahar gayi huee thin aur mama aur main akele the unaka vyavahar badal gaya aur jab ve chay chhan rahi thin to unaka badan kanpane laga. main us vakt apane sapanon aur apani ummidon kee bat kar raha tha, apane pyar aur apani nirashaon kee bat kar raha tha, aur ve behad bhavuk ho gayin. jab main mej par apani chay ka pyala rakhane ke lie utha to ve mere pas aayin ... tum kitane achchhe ho. unhonne kaha aur apane hathon men mera chehara bharate hue meri aankhon men gahare dekhate hue kaha...tum itane pyare bachche ho ki tumhara dil nahin toda jana chahiye. unakee nigahen jhukati hoti chalin gayin. ajib tarah se aur mantrabiddh ho gayin aur unakee aavaz kanpane lagi...tumhen pata hai, main tumhen apane bachche kee tarah pyar karati hoon. unhonne kaha aur ab bhi apane hathon men mera chehara bhare hue thin. tab haule se unaka chehara mere chehare ke pas aaya aur unhonne mujhe choom liya.

"thaink yoo," mainne vinamrata poorvak kaha aur bholepan se unhen choom liya. ve apani bedhati aankhon se mujhe bandhe rahin aur unake honth kanpate rahe. aur unakee aankhon men panili chamak aa gayi. tabhi achanak apane aapako sanbhalate hue ve ek kap chay aur dhalane ke lie chali gayin aur pal bhar men unaka bat karane ka tarika badal gaya aur madhur hansi se aur hasy bodh se unaka chehara damakane laga," tum bahut hi pyare ladake ho...main tumhen bahut pasand karati hoon."

unhonne apani ladakiyon ke bare men mujhe kaee rahasy bataye,"chhoti vali bahut achchhi ladakee hai." unhonne bataya,"lekin badi vali par nigah rakhane kee jaroorat hoti hai. vah samasya banati ja rahi hai."

sho ke bad ve mujhe apane bade vale bedaroom men khane ke lie aamantrit karatin. is bedaroom men ve aur unakee chhoti vali ladakee soya karate the. apane kamare men lautane se pahale main unhen aur chhoti vali ko gud nait kis karata. usake bad mujhe ek chhote vale kamare se guzar kar jana padata jahan par badi vali soti thi. ek rat jab main us kamare se ho kar guzar raha tha to vah ekadam mere pas aa gayi aur fusafusa kar boli,"rat ko apane kamare ka daravaja khula rakhana. jab parivar so jayega to main tumhare kamare men aaoongi." mera yakeen karen ya n karen, mainne use hikarat se usake bistar par dhakela aur lapak kar kamare se bahar aaya. falis berajere men unake antim pradarshan ke bad mainne suna tha ki unakee badi vali ladakee, jo mushkil se pandrah baras kee huee thi, sath baras ke ek mote se jarman dog trenar ke sath bhag gayi thi.

lekin main utana bhola nahin tha jitana dikhata tha. apani mandali ke sathiyon ke sath raton men aksar main veshyalayon ke chakkar katata aur vahan ve sab harakaten karata jo javan log karate hain. ek rat, kaee paig chadha lene ke bad, main eni ston nam ke ek bhootapoorv lait haivi vet eenami faitar ke sath bhid gaya. ye lafada restaran men shuroo huaa. aur jab vetaron ne tatha pulis ne hamen alag kiya to vah bola,"main tumhen hotal men dekh loonga." ham donon ek hi hotal men thahare hue the. usaka kamara mere kamare ke oopar tha. subah char baje main jab apane hotal men lauta to mainne usaka daravaja khatakhataya.

"aa jao," vah jaldi se bola," aur apane joote utar do taki koee shor sharaba n ho."

jaldi hi ham chhati tak nange ho gaye aur ek doosare ke samane aa gaye. ham kafi der tak ek doosare ko hit karate rahe aur ek doosare ke var bhi bachate rahe. isi men mano sadiyan lag gayin. kaee bar usane sidhe hi meri thuddi par var kiya, lekin koee asar nahin huaa. "mainne socha, tum panch maroge," main tana mara. usane ek chhalang lagaee lekin usaka var khali gaya. aur usaka sir divar se ja takaraya. vah apane aap hi past ho chala tha. mainne use khatm karane kee sochi, lekin mere panch kamajor the. use khataranak dhang se hit kar sakata tha, lekin mere panch ke pichhe jor nahin tha. achanak usane jor se mere munh par ek zor ka ghoonsa mara, jisase mere aage ke dant hil gaye, aur isase mera tan badan gusse ke mare jalane laga."...bahut ho gaya," mainne kaha,"main apane dant nahin ganvana chahata." vah mere oopar aaya aur mujhase lipat gaya. aur tab shishe men dekhane laga. mainne usaka chehara kutar kar chhalani kar diya tha. mere hath itane sooj gaye the manon dastane pahan rakhe hon. chhat par, divaron par aur paradon par khoon ke dag nazar aa rahe the. main nahin janata, khoon sab jagah kaise pahunch gaya tha.

rat ko khoon mere munh ke pas se sarakata huaa mere garadan tak aa pahuncha tha. subah ke vakt jo nanha chhokara jo mere lie chay ka pyala le kar aata tha, ye dekh kar chillaya. usane socha ki mainne aatmahatya kar li hai. aur usake bad mainne kisi se jhagada nahin kiya.

ek rat dubhashiya mere pas aaya aur bola ki ek prasiddh sangitakar mujhase milana chahata hai, aur kya main usase boks men jana chahoonga?

aamantran rochak tha kyonki unake sath vahan par ek bahut hi khoobasoorat, bhavy mahila baithi huee thin jo roosi baile kee sadasya thi. dubhashiye ne mera parichay karaya. un mahanubhav ne kaha ki ve mera kam dekh kar bahut khush hue hain aur janana chahate hain ki meri umr kya hai. in tarif bhare shabdon ko sun kar main sammanapoorvak jhuka aur bich-bich men main chor nigahon se unakee mitr ko bhi kanakhiyon se dekh leta tha,"aap janmajat ek sangitakar aur nartak hain."

yah mahasoos karate hue ki is tarif ke badale shabd koee mayane nahin rakhate aur javab men sirf muskuraya hi ja sakata hai, mainne dubhashiye kee taraf dekha aur jhuka. sangitakar mahoday uthe aur mujhase hath milaya, tab main bhi khada ho gaya," han," unhonne mera hath hilate hue kaha,"aap ek sachche kalakar hain."

jab ve log chale gaye to main dubhashiye se poochha,"unake sath vah mahila kaun thi?"

"ve ek roosi baile dansar hai mis...." yah ek bahut hi lamba aur mushkil nam tha. "aur is mahashay ka kya nam tha?" mainne poochha.

"debusi," usane javab diya,"ve ek vikhyat kampojar hain."

"mainne to unaka nam kabhi nahin suna," mainne tippani kee.

ye baras maidam stenahail ke kukhyat skaindal aur mukadamebaji ka baras tha. un par mukadama chala tha aur unhen apane pati kee hatya ko doshi nahin paya gaya tha. ye baras sanasanikhej "pom pom dansa" ka tha jisamen jode kamukata ka pradarshan karate hue ashobhaniy tarike se gol gol ghoom kar nrity karate the. ye baras vyaktigat aay par prati paund par lagaye gaye chh: pens ke avishvasaniy dimag kharab karane vale kar ka tha. isi baras debusi ne ingalaind men apana french natak prastut kiya jise janata ne nakar diya aur darshak hol se bahar nikal gaye.

bhari man ke sath main ingalaind lauta aur pradeshon ke daure par nikal gaya. ye peris ke kitana viparit tha. uttari shaharon men ve manahoosayit bhari ravivar kee shamen. sab kuchh band, aur sab kuchh yad dilasi vah udasi bhi jo kamatur yuvakon aur paturiyon ke sath-sath chalati. ye andhiyari haee strit men aur pichhavade kee galiyon men gasht lagate ghoomate rahate. ravivaron kee shamon ko yahi unaka taim pas hota tha.

ingalaind men mujhe vapis aaye chh: mah bit chuke the aur main apane samany rootin ka aadi ho chala tha. aur tabhi landan karyalay se ek aisi khabar aayi jisane mujhe romanch se bhar diya. mistar karno ne khabar di ki da' futabal maich ke doosare daur men mujhe mistar heri vaildan kee jagah leni hai. ab mujhe mahasoos huaa ki ab mere sitare bulandi par hain. ab patte mere hath men the. halanki main apani ripetari men maming bardas aur doosare natakon men safalata ke jhande gad chuka tha, ve sari chijen d futabal maich men mukhy bhoomika nibhane ke samane kuchh bhi nahin thin. aur sabase badi bat to ye thi ki hamen aoksaford se shuruaat karani thi. ye landan ka sabase mahattvapoorn sangit hol tha. ham sabase bada aakarshan hone ja rahe the. aur ye pahali bar hone ja raha tha ki postaron men aur vigyapanon aadi men mera nam sabase oopar jata. ye bahut oonchi chhalang thi. agar main aoksaford men safal ho jata to isase main ek naya nam banata aur main tab is sthiti men hota ki aur adhik pagar kee mang kar sakata tha aur ek din aisa bhi aa sakata tha ki main apane khud ke skaich likhata. daraasal, isase har tarah kee shanadar yojanaon ke dvar khulate the. choonki kamobesh usi kast ko hi da' futabal maich ke lie rakha ja raha tha, isalie hamen sirf ek hi hafte kee riharsal kee zaroorat thi. mainne is bare men bahut jyada socha ki main natak men apani bhoomika kaise nibhaoonga. hairi veldan lankashayar uchcharan men bolate the, mainne tay kiya ki main ise kokane shaili men karoonga.

lekin pahali hi riharsal men mujhe svar yantr kee gadabadi ka daura pad gaya. mainne apani aavaz ko bachane ke lie sab kuchh karake dekh dala, fusafusa kar bat kee, bhap ko apane bhitar liya, gale par spre kiya, aur tab tak laga raha jab tak chinta ne mujhase meri komalata aur sari komedi chhin li.

natak kee pahali rat mere gale kee nas-nas tani huee rassi kee mafik khinchi huee thi. lekin meri aavaz suni nahin ja sakee. karno bad men mere aas-pas mandarate rahe. unake chehare par nirasha aur hikarat ke mile jule bhav the,"koee bhi to tumhari aavaz nahin sun saka." ve jhidakate hue bole, lekin mainne unhen aashvast kiya ki agali rat meri aavaz zaroor behatar ho jayegi. lekin agali rat bhi vahi hal raha. sach to ye hai ki agali rat vah aur kharab ho chukee thi. isaka karan ye tha ki mainne aavaz ke sath itani jor aajamaish kar li thi ki mujhe khatara lagane laga ki kahin meri aavaz poori tarah se chali hi n jaye. agali rat meri bhi mera yahi hal raha. natija yah huaa ki pahale hafte ke bad hi pradarshanon ka parda gir gaya. aoksaford men pradarshan ke mere sare sapane choor choor ho chuke the aur meri nirasha ka yah aalam tha ki main enfloonja ka marij ho kar bistar par pad gaya.

haitti se mile mujhe ek baras se jyada ho gaya tha. floo ke prakop ke bad kamazori aur udasi ke aalam men mujhe ek bar fir usaka khyal aaya aur main ek rat der ko kaimbaravail men usake ghar kee taraf ghoomata-ghamata pahunch gaya. lekin ghar khali tha aur daravaje par `kiraye ke lie khali' ka bord lataka huaa tha. main bina kisi khas makasad ke galiyon men bhatakata raha. achanak rat ke andhere men se ek aakriti ubhari, sadak par karate hue aur meri taraf aate hue.

"charli, aadhi rat ko tum yahan kya kar rahe ho?" ye haitti thi. usane kala sil kee khal vala kot pahana huaa tha aur sil kee khal ka hi gol hait pahana huaa tha.

"main tumase milane aaya tha,' mainne mazak men kaha.

vah muskurayi,"bahut kamazor ho gaye ho tum?"

mainne use bataya ki main abhi hi floo se utha hoon. vah ab satrah baras kee ho rahi thi aur khasi sundar nazar aa rahi thi aur usane kapade bhi kafi salike se pahane hue the.

"lekin saval ye hai ki tum is vakt yahan kya kar rahi ho?" poochha mainne.

"main apani ek saheli se milane aayi thi aur ab apane bhaee ke ghar ja rahi hoon. aana chahoge tum mere sath?" usane javab diya.

raste men usane bataya ki usakee bahan ne ek amarikee karodapati fraink se shadi kar li hai aur ve nais men rah rahe hain. vah subah landan chhod kar unase milane ke lie ja rahi hai.

us rat men use thaga-sa khada dekhata aur vah apane bhaee ke sath ithala-ithalakar nachati rahi. vah apane bhaee ke sath moorkhatapoorn aur thagini kee tarah ekting kar rahi thi. aur main, apane aap ke bavajood, is bhavana se apane aapako mukt nahin kar pa raha tha ki meri justajoo usake lie zara si bhi kam nahin huee thi. agar vah kisi sadharan jagah se talluk rakhati hoti? kisi bhi aur samany ladakee kee tarah? is khyal ne mujhe udas kar diya aur main usakee taraf vastuparak nigahon se dekhata rah gaya.

usake sharir men bharav aa gaya tha aur mainne usakee chhatiyon ke ubharon kee taraf dekha aur paya ki unakee golaiyan chhoti thin aur bahut jyada aakarshak nahin thi. agar meri haisiyat huee to kya main usase shadi kar paoonga? nahin, main kisi se bhi shadi nahin karana chahata tha.

us thandi aur chamakeeli rat ko main jab usake sath ghar kee taraf aa raha tha to main zaroor hi bahut adhik udas tarike se tatasth raha hooonga kyonki mainne usase is bat kee aasha vyakt kee ki usaka jivan bahut sukhi aur shanadar hoga.

"tum itane udas aur toote lag rahe the ki main ekadam rone rone ko thi." usane kaha tha.

us rat main ek vijeta kee tarah ghar lauta kyonki mainne use apani udasi se chhoo liya tha aur apane vyaktitv ko mahasoos kara diya tha.

karno ne mujhe fir se maming bardas men rakh liya tha aur vidanbana ye ki meri aavaz ko poori tarah se thik hone men ek mahina lag gaya tha. da' futabal maich ke bare men meri jo nirasha thi, mainne tay kiya ki ab use havi nahin hone doonga. lekin ek khyal bhi mujhe sataye ja raha tha ki shayad main vaildan kee barabari karane ya unakee jagah lene ke kabil nahin tha. aur isase sabake pichhe forestar thiyetar men meri asafalata hi kam kar rahi thi. ab tak choonki mera aatm vishvas poori tarah se lauta nahin tha, jis bhi naye natak men mainne mukhy bhoomika nibhayi, vah dar ka ek trayal tha. aur ab sabase adhik chaunkane vala aur atyadhik nirnayak din aa gaya jab mainne mistar karno ko bataya ki mera karar khatm hone ko hai aur mujhe vetan men badhotari chahiye.

karno jise bhi pasand nahin karate the usake prati kroor aur sanakee ho sakate the. choonki ve mujhe pasand karate the isalie mainne unake vyaktitv ke is paksh ke darshan nahin kiye the lekin ve sachamuch bahut hi badatamizi bhare tarike se choor-choor kar sakate the. apane kisi kamediyan ke pradarshan ke dauran agar unhen vah kamediyan pasand nahin aata tha to ve vings men khade ho kar itane zor se nak sinakane ka natak karate the ki sabako sunayi de jaye. ve aksar aisa karane lagate the ki kamediyan manch chhod kar hi aa jata tha aur usake sath hatha-paee karane lagata tha. vah aakhiri bar thi jab unhonne is tarah kee harakat kee thi aur ab main unake pas vetan men badhotari ke lie bhidane ja raha tha.

"thik hai," unhonne rookhepan ke sath muskurate hue kaha, "tum vetan men vriddhi chahate ho aur thiyetar sarkit usamen katauti karana chahata hai." unhonne kandhe uchakaye,"aoksaford myoozik hal ke hangame ke bad hamare pas sirf shikayaten hi shikayaten hain. unaka kahana hai ki kampani us layak nahin hai... do kaudi ka kraich krauda§

karno kee mandali men hamen kam se kam se chh: mahine lagate the ki ham parafaikt taimpo vikasit kar pate aur tab tak use kraich kraud ke nam se pukara jata tha.

"lekin usake lie mujhe hi to doshi nahin thahara sakate," mainne javab diya.

"lekin ve to doshi thaharate hain." unaka javab tha. ve chubhati nigahon se meri taraf ghoor rahe the.

"unhen kya shikayat hai?" poochha mainne.

unhonne apana gala khakhara aur farsh par dekhane lage,"unaka kahana hai ki tum saksham nahin ho."

halanki unakee yah tippani sidhe mere pet men ja kar shool kee tarah chubhi, isase mujhe gussa bhi aaya, lekin mainne shant svar men javab diya,"thik hai, doosare log aisa nahin sochate. aur ve mujhe usase jyada dene ko taiyar hain jitana mujhe yahan mil raha hai." ye sach nahin tha. mere samane koee prastav nahin tha.

"unaka kahana hai ki sho falatoo hai aur kamediyan do kaudi ka hai. dekho," unhonne fon uthate hue kaha,"main ek star ko fon karoonga, beramandase ko, aur tum unase apane aap sun lena.... mera khyal hai pichhale hafte tumhara sho bahut hi kharab raha tha." unhonne fon par bat kee.

"vahiyat..." fon par aavaj aayi.

karno ne khinsen nipori,"aap ise kis shreni men dalenge?"

"do kauda ka...sho"

"aur chaiplin ke bare men kya khyal hai? hamare pradhan kamediyan? kya usaka kam bhi thik nahin?"

"vah to boo marata hai."

karno sahab ne fon mujhe thama diya,"apane aap hi sun lo..."

main fon liya. "...ho sakata hai vah boo marata ho lekin usase aadha bhi nahin jitana aapaka sadandh bhara thiyatar boo marata hai." mainne javab diya.

karno sahab kee mujhe aukat dikhane kee tarakeeb kam nahin aayi. mainne unase kaha ki agar ve bhi mere bare men yahi ray rakhate hain to karar ka navikaran karane ka koee matalab nahin hai. kaee mayanon men karno bahut hi kaiyan aadami the. lekin ve manovaigyanik nahin the. beshak main boo marata tha to bhi ye karno sahab ko shobha nahin deta tha ki fon kee doosari taraf se kisi aur se ye kahalavayen. mujhe panch paund mil rahe the aur halanki mera aatm vishvas dagamaya huaa tha, fir bhi main chh: kee mang kar raha tha. meri hairani ka thikana nahin raha jab karno sahab ne mujhe chh: paund dena svikar kar liya aur main ek bar unakee nigahon men raj dulara ban gaya.

aalf rivz, jo karno sahab kee amerikee kampani men mainejar the, ingalaind vapis aaye aur unhonne ye afavah faila di ki ve apane sath amerika le jane ke lie kisi pradhan kamediyan kee talash men hain.

aoksaford myoojik hol ke us bade hadase ke bad se main amerika jane ke khyalon se bhara huaa tha. akele ja kar thril aur romanch ke lie nahin, balki vahan jane ka matalab hamesha nayi aashaen aur nayi duniya men ek nayi shuruaat. saubhagy se, main jis naye natak sketing men pramukh bhoomika nibha raha tha, baramingham men safalata ke jhande gad raha tha, aur jab mistar rivz vahan aa kar kampani men shamil hue to mainne apani bhoomika ko behatar banane men jan lada di aur isaka natija ye huaa ki rivz sahab ne karno sahab ko tar bheja ki unhen amerika ke lie apana kamediyan mil gaya hai. lekin karno sahab ne mere lie aur hi mansoobe bandhe hue the. is vahiyat khabar ne mujhe hafton tak pesopesh men dale rakha jab tak ki ve vov vov nam ke natak men dilachaspi nahin lene lag gaye. ye natak sikret sosaiti men kisi sadasy ko liye jane ke bare men prahasan tha. mujhe aur rivz sahab ko ye natak vahiyat laga, bina sir pair ka, bina kisi khasiyat ke laga, lekin karno sahab par isaka nasha savar tha aur ve ad gaye ki amerika sikret sosaitiyon se bhara pada hai. aur un par is tarah ka kataksh karane vala natak zaroor safal hoga. meri khushi aur rahat ka thikana n raha jab karno sahab ne mujhe hi isakee pradhan bhoomika ke lie chuna. amerika ke lie vov vov.

mujhe amerika jane ke lie isi tarah ke kisi mauke kee jaroorat thi. ingalaind men mujhe lag raha tha ki main apani sanbhavanaon ke shikhar par pahunch chuka hoon aur isake alava, vahan par mere avasar ab bandhe bandhaye rah gaye the. aadhi-adhoori padhaee ke chalate agar main myoojik hol ke kamediyan ke roop men fel ho jata to mere pas majadoori ke kam karane ke bhi bahut hi simit aasar hote.

amerika men sanbhavanaon ka annat aakash tha.

yatra shuroo karane se pahale kee rat main landan ke vest end men ghoomata raha, lisetar skvayar, koventari strit, d mal, aur pikadilli men ruka. us samay mere man men udasi bhari bhavana thi ki ye aakhiri bar hoga ki main landan ghoom raha hoon kyonki main man hi man tay kar chuka tha ki mujhe sthayi roop se amerika jakar hi basana hai. main aadhi rat tak do baje tak bhatakata raha, sunasan galiyon aur meri khud kee udasi kee kavita men doobata utarata.

main vida ke do shabd kahane se bach raha tha. apane natedaron se aur doston se bichhudate samay aadami jo kuchh bhi mahasoos karata hai, unake dvara vidaee diye jane ke bare men, usamen aur dhansata hi hai. main subah chh: baje hi uth gaya tha. isalie mainne is bat kee zaroorat nahin samajhee ki sidani ko jagaoon. lekin mainne mej par ek parchi chhod di,"amerika ja raha hoon. tumhen likhata rahoonga. pyar. charli."

………

aatha

hamen yatra karate hue barah din ho chuke the, aur hamara agala padav kyoobek tha. behad kharab mausam aur charon taraf laharata huaa mahasamudr. tin din tak to ham tooti patavar lekar pade rahe, isake bavazood main to ek doosari hi duniya men jane ke vichar se ullasit tha aur apane aapako bahut halka mahasoos kar raha tha. maveshiyon vali nav par ham kanada ho kar ja rahe the. nav par gay, bail, bhed, bakari bhale hi n hon, par choohe dher sare the aur rah-rah kar ve badi hekadi se meri barth par aa dhamakate aur joota chalane par hi bhagate.

sitanbar kee shuruaat thi aur nyoo faundalaind hamane kohare men par kiya. aakhir mukhy bhoomi ke darshan hue. fuhar pad rahi thi aur din men bhi sent lanres nadi ke tat nirjan nazar aa rahe the. nav se kyoobek us chaharadivari kee tarah lag raha tha jahan haimalet ka bhoot chala karata hoga. mera man stets ke bare men kutoohal se bhar utha.

par jaise-jaise ham toranto kee or badhate gae, patajhad ke rangon se desh aur khoobasoorat hota chala gaya aur meri ummiden pahale se jyada rangin ho uthin.

toranto men hamane gadi badali aur amerikee aapravasan ke daftar se hokar guzare. aakhirakar ravivar subah das baje ham nyooyark aa pahunche. taims skvayar men jab ham taiksi se utare to kuchh nirasha si huee. sadakon aur futapathon par akhabar idhar-udhar ud rahe the. brodave beraunak dikh raha tha, mano foohad-si koee aurat abhi-abhi bistar se utari ho. pray: harek nukkad par oonchi oonchi kursiyan thin jisamen jooton ke sanche lage the aur log bina kot vagairah ke, keval kamiz pahane hue aaram se baith kar apane joote polish karava rahe the. dekh kar laga, mano ve log sadak par hi shauch aadi se nivritt hue hon. kaee log ajanabiyon sarikhe lage jo futapathon par yoon hi khade the mano abhi-abhi relave steshan se bahar nikale hon aur agali gadi ke aane tak ka samay kat rahe hon.

jo bhi ho, ye nyoo yark tha, romanchak, akkal chakara dene vala aur kuchh-kuchh daravana. doosari taraf peris jyada dostana tha. main french bhale hi nahin bol pata tha par bistas aur kaife vale peris ne harek nukkad par mera svagat kiya tha. lekin nyoo yark bade karobar kee jagah thi. garv se bhari nishthur, oonchi-oonchi aakash ko chhoone vali imaraton ko aam aadami kee takalif se koee sarokar nahin tha. sailoon bar men bhi grahakon ke baithane kee koee jagah nahin thi. sirf pital kee lambi reling lagi huee thi jis par aap pair tika saken, aur khane kee nami jagahen, beshak saf-suthari thi, safed sangamaramar lage hue the vahan lekin ye jagahen bhi mujhe bejan aur aspatalanuma lagin.

forti-thard strit se kuchh door braun ston hauses men mainne pichhavade ka ek kamara liya, jahan ab purani taims bilding khadi hai. ghar bada hi manahoos aur ganda tha aur ise dekh kar mujhe landan aur apane chhote se flait kee yad satane lagi. besament men dhulaee aur istari ka karobar chalata tha aur hafte ke dinon men bhap ke sath oopar udakar aati istari hote kapadon kee boo meri pareshaniyon ko aur badhati.

us pahale din mainne apane aapako bahut hi adhoora paya. kisi restaran men jana aur kuchh aordar karana to agni pariksha thi kyonki mera angrezi uchcharan unase alag tha aur main dhire-dhire bolata tha. kaee log itane farrate se aur jhataka dekar bolate the ki mujhe is dar se asuvidha hone lagati ki main bolane chala to hakalane lagoonga aur unaka bhi samay barabad hoga.

ye chamak-damak aur ye raftar mere lie naee thi. nyoo york men chhote se chhote karobar vala aadami bhi furti se kam karata hai. joota polish karane vala ladaka polish vale kapade ko furti se jhatakata hai, bar men biyar dene vala hi vaisi hi furti se bar kee chamachamati satah par biyar aapakee or saraka dega. ande kee jardi mile malt dete vakt soda klark kisi koodate fandate kalabaj kee tarah kam karata hai. ek hi bar men vah ek gilas jhatakata hai aur jo bhi chizen dalani hain, un par toot padata hai. vanila flevar, aaisakrim ka chhota-sa tukada, do chammach malt, kachcha anda, bas ek bar men fod dala, doodh milaya, fir in sabako lekar ek bartan men zor se hila kar milaya aur lijie pesh hai. ye sab kuchh ek minat se bhi kam samay men.

evenyoo par us pahale din kaee log vaise nazar aae jaisa main mahasoos kar raha tha - akele aur kate-fate. inamen se kuchh aise hav-bhav men the jaise vahi us jagah ke malik hon. kaee to bade dhith aur badamijaj the mano sajjanata aur vinamrata se pesh aaenge to koee unhen kamazor samajh lega. lekin sham ko garmiyon ke kapade pahani huee bhid ke sath jab main brodave hokar ja raha tha to jo dekha usase mera man aashvast ho gaya. kadake kee sitanbar ke thand ke bich hamane ingalaind chhoda tha aur jhulasa dene vali assi digri kee garmi men nyoo yark pahunche the. abhi main chal hi raha tha ki bijali kee dher sari rang-birangi battiyon se brodave jagamagane laga aur beshakeemati javaharat kee tarah chamakane laga. garmi kee us rat men mera nazariya badala aur amerika ka naya matalab mere zehan men utarata chala gaya. bahumanzila imaraton, chamakati khushanuma roshaniyon aur gudaguda dene vale vigyapanon ne mere man men aasha aur romanch kee halachal macha di. yahi hai - mainne apane aapase kaha - main isi jagah se vasta rakhata hoon.

brodave par lagata tha har koee kisi n kisi karobar men hai: abhineta, hasy kalakar, majame vale, sarakas men kam karane vale aur manoranjan vale har jagah the. sadak par, restaraon men, hotalon aur dipartamental storon men har aadami dhandhe kee bat kar raha tha. thietar malikon ke nam jahan-tahan sunane ko mil jate: li shubart, martin baik, viliyam moris, parsi viliyams, kla end iralaingar, froimain, sulivan end kansidain, paintejez. ghareloo naukarani ho, lift vala ho, vetar ho, taiksivala ho, baramain ho, doodh vala ho ya bekari vala, jise dekho, sho main kee tarah bat karata. rah chalate logon kee batachit ke sunayi padate ansh bhi vahi. boodhi ho chali mataen, dikhane men kisanon kee biviyon kee tarah aur baten sunie to - vah abhi-abhi vest men paintezej ke lie kam karake lauta hai. ek din men tin-tin sho the. sab kuchh thik-thak raha to bada hasy kalakar banega.

ek daraban kah raha hai,"tumane vintar gardan men jonasan ko dekha?"

"jaroor, usane jek ke sho kee laj rakh li."

akhabaron ka ek poora panna har din thietar ko samarpit hota tha jisamen resakors vale ghodon ke resing chart kee manind khabaren hotin. hasy kala men kisane kitana nam kamaya, kis par adhik taliyan bajin, isake aadhar par res ke ghodon kee tarah pahale, doosare aur tisare sthan die jate the. abhi is daud men ham shamil nahin hue the aur mujhe is bat kee chinta rahati ki chart men ham kis pojishan par aaenge. 56 hafton tak hamara karyakram parsi viliyams sarkit men tha. isake bad aur koee buking nahin thi. hamara amerika men tikana isi karyakram ke parinam par nirbhar tha. nahin chale, to ingalaind laut jaenge.

ham logon ne ek riharsal room liya aur da' vau vauz kee ek hafte tak riharsal kee. hamare dal men drari len ka prasiddh boodha sanakee jokar vakar tha. sattar par kar chuka tha. aavaz to badi ganbhir thi par riharsal men pata chala ki saf-saf to bol hi nahin pata. oopar se plot ka ek bada hissa darshakon ko samajhane ka kam usi ko karana tha. aisi koee lain jaise - mazak behantaha daravana hoga usase bola hi n jae aur vah kabhi bol paya bhi nahin. pahali rat vah eblib-eblib badabadaya. bad men yah eblib hi rah gaya, par aakhir tak sahi shabd nahin hi nikala.

amerika men karno ka bada nam tha. isalie behatarin kalakaron ke karyakram men sabase jyada aakarshan ka kendr ham hi hote the. bhale hi mujhe us skech se nafarat thi, mainne isaka bharapoor upayog kiya. mujhe ummid thi ki shayad yahi vo chiz ho jaye jise karno khalis amerika ke lie kaha karate the.

pahali rat stej par aane se pahale main kitana narvas tha, kis takalik aur pasopesh men tha, main isaka bayan nahin kar sakata aur n hi isaka ki stej ke said men khade amerikee kalakar hamen dekh rahe the to mujh par kya bit rahi thi. ingalaind men mere pahale latife par zoradar thahake lagate the aur isase pata chal jata tha ki bakee kee komedi kaisi chalegi.

kainp ka sin tha, ek tanboo men chay ka kap lie main pravesh karata hoon.

aarchi (main) : gud marning hadasan. mujhe thoda-sa pani chahie. denge ?

hadasan : jaroor, par kisalie

aarchi : main nahana chahata hoon.

(darshakon kee or se ek halkee aadhi-adhoori hansi aur fir berukhi chuppi)

hadasan : rat kee nind kaisi rahi, aarchi?

aarchi : are, mat poochho. sapane men dekha, ek illi mujhe dauda rahi hai.

ab bhi darshakon men vaisi hi murdanagi. is tarah ham badabadate rahe aur stej ke bagal men khade amerikiyon ke thobade aur jyada latakate gae. lekin hamare us ank ko khatm karane se pahale hi ve ja chuke the.

ye skech bachakana aur niras tha, aur mainne karno ko salah di thi ki isase shuruaat n karen. hamare pas doosare jyada mazedar skechej the jaise sketing, d daindi thivs, d post aofis aur mistar parkins, em.pi. jo amerikee darshakon ko pasand aate. lekin karno apani zid par ade rahe.

jo bhi kahie, parades men nakami se takalif to hoti hi hai. har rat aise darshakon ke samane haaajiri bajana vakaee dushkar kam tha jo ek ke bad ek gudaguda dene vali ingalish komedi ke aage berukhi se sannata odhe baithe rahen. stej par hamara aana-jana sharanarthiyon kee tarah hota tha. ye beizazati ham logon ne chhah hafte tak jheli. doosare kalakar ham logon se yoon alag-thalag rahate the jaise hamen pleg huaa ho. is tarah se patakani khane aur zalil hone ke bad jab ham jane ke lie stej ke pas khade hue to laga mano lain men khada karake ham goli mari jani hai.

halanki main apane aapako akela aur thukaraya huaa mahasoos karata tha, fir bhi is bat ke lie shukragujar tha ki main akela rah raha hoon. kam se kam doosaron ke sath apani beizazati sheyar to nahin karani padati thi. din men main lanbi antahin vithiyon par chahalakadami kiya karata tha. kabhi chidiya ghar, to kabhi park, machhalighar aur kabhi sangrahalay jakar man bahala leta tha. apani nakami ke bad nyoo yark ab ekadam aparajey lagata tha. imaraten itani oonchi jahan pahuncha n ja sake aur unaka pratispardhi parivesh itana dabane vala ki jisake aage aap khade nahin ho sakate. isakee shanadar oonchi imaraten aur faishanabel dukanen berahami se mujhe mere adhoorepan ka ahasas karati thin. fifth evenyoo ke pare aalishan makan safalata ke smarak the, ghar nahin.

main paidal chal kar shahar bhar kee dhool fankata rahata aur shahar se hote hue jhopad patti vale ilakon kee or chala jata. medisan skvayar ke park se hokar, jahan lavaris boodhe apane pairon kee taraf bhav shoonyata se ghoorate hue hatasha men bench par baithe rahate the. isake bad main sekand aur thard evenyoo kee or chala. garibi yahan beraham, tikhi aur marak thi. jahan-tahan pasari huee, ek gurrati, atthahas karati aur chillati huee garibi; daravajon par, chimaniyon par failati huee aur raston par vaman karati huee garibi. mera dil baithane laga aur mera man jald se jald brodave lautane ka karane laga.

amerikee aadami aashavadi hota hai. athak cheshta karane vala aur saikadon sapanon men dooba rahane vala. vah jald se jald baji mar lena chahata hai. vah jaik pot hit karo! nikal chalo! bech dalo!. kamao aur bhago! koee doosara dhandha kar lo! men vishvas karata hai. lekin had se guzar jane ke isi andaz ne meri himmat bandhani shuroo kar di. doosari or se dekha jaye to apani nakamiyon ke chalate main kafi halka mahasoos karane laga. aisa lagane laga mano ab koee rukavat nahin hai. amerika men aur bhi kaee sanbhavanaen thin. main thietar kee duniya se kyoon chipaka rahoon? main kala ko samarpit to tha nahin. koee doosara dhandha kar leta. mujhamen aatm vishvas lautane laga. jo ho gaya so ho gaya, mainne amerika men tikane kee than li thi.

asafalata se dhyan hatane ke lie mainne socha, kuchh padhoon aur apana shaikshik star uthaoon. mainne purani kitabon kee dukanon ke chakkar lagane shuroo kie. kaee pathy pustaken kharid dalin - kelogs retarik, ek angreji vyakaran aur ek laitin angreji dikshanari - aur unhen padhane kee thani. lekin mera sankalp dhara ka dhara rah gaya. kitabon ko dekhate hi mainne unhen apane sandook men ekadam niche rakh diya aur bhool gaya - aur stets men doosari bar aane par hi unakee or dekha.

nyoo yark men pahale hafte ke karyakram men ek natak tha, gas edavards skool dej. bachchon ko lekar banaya gaya. is mandali men ek aakarshak charitr tha jo dikhane men chhota tha, par chal-dhal aur taur-tarikon se pahunchi huee chij lagata tha. use sigaret ke koopanon se jooe kee lat thi jisake badale men yunaited sigar stor se nikal pleted kofi ke baratanon se lekar shanadar piyano tak milane ka chans rahata tha. unake lie vah kisi ke bhi sath pansa fenkane ko taiyar tha. valtar vinchel namak yah vyakti asadharan tezi se bat kar sakata tha. umr ho jane par bhi usaka dhunaadhar bolana jari raha, par kaee bar munh se kuchh ka kuchh nikal jaya karata tha.

halanki hamara sho chala nahin. vyaktigat roop se main logon ka dhyan khinchane men safal raha. verayati ke sim silvar main ne mere bare men kaha,"mandali men kam se kam ek mazedar angrez tha, aur vo amerika men chalega."

ab tak ham log boriya-bistar samet kar chh: hafton ke bad ingalaind lautane ka man bana chuke the. par tisare saptah hamane apana natak fifth evenyoo thietar men khela. yahan jyadatar darshak angrej naukar aur khanasame the. somavar, pahali rat ko ham dhamake se chale. har chutakule par ve hanse. ham sabhi chakit the, main bhi, kyonki mainne bhi hamesha jaisi berukhi kee ummid kee thi. mujhe lagata hai, kamachalaoo pradarshan se mere oopar dabav nahin tha aur mainne koee galati nahin kee.

us saptah ek ejent ne ham logon se mulakat kee aur salivan end konsidain sarkit men bis hafton ke daure ke lie buk kar liya. ye chalataoo rangarang vividh sho karyakram tha, aur hamen din men tin sho karane the.

salivan konsidain ke us pahale daure men koee jabardast dhamaka to ham logon ne nahin kiya lekin auron ke mukabale bis hi rahe. un dinon midil vest lubhavana tha. utani bhag-daud nahin thi aur mahaul romantik tha. harek drag stor aur sailoon men ghusate hi chausar kee tebal hoti thi jahan har us chij ke lie pansa fenka ja sakata tha jo vahan bik rahi ho. ravivar kee subah men strit khadakhadate dais kee pyari aur dostana aavaz se bhari hoti thi. kaee bar main bhi das sent men ek dalar kee chizen jit jata.

jivan yapan sasta tha. ek hafte men sat dolar par kisi chhote hotal men ek kamara aur din men tin bar bhojan mil jata tha. khana bahut hi sasta tha. sailoon ka fri lanch kauntar hamari mandali ke lie bahut bada sanbal tha. ek nikal (panch sent) men ek gilas biyar aur khane kee sabase svadisht aur khas chizen mil jaya karati thin. sooar kee ranen hoti thin, slaisd haim, aaloo salad, sardin machhaliyan, maikaroni chiz, livar vurst, kulacha aur hot dog! hamare kuchh sadasy isaka fayada uthate aur apani pleton par tab tak dher lagate jate jab tak bar main tok n de,"oe, utana lad kar kahan chal die - kya klonadaik kee taraf?"

hamare dal men pan‍drah ya kuchh adhik log the. tren kee barth ke paise dene ke bad bhi har membar kam se kam apana aadha mehanatana bacha leta tha. meri tanakhvah thi ek hafte men pachahattar dolar aur isamen se pachas to shan se baink aof mainahatan men niyamit roop se pahunch jate.

daure ke silasile men ham log kost pahunche. rangarang karyakram kee usi tim men hamare sath pashchim kee taraf chalane valon men teksas ka ek sundar yuvak tha jo kasarati jhoole par karatab dikhata tha. vah ye tay nahin kar pa raha tha ki aur aage bhi apane partanar ke sath hi bana rahe ya eenami dangal lada kare. roj subah main boksing ke dastane pahan kar usake sath utarata. vah beshak mujhase lanba aur bhari tha, fir bhi main use jab jaise chahata, hit kar sakata tha. ham bahut achchhe dost ban gae aur boksing kee ek pari ke bad ham sath lanch lete. vo kaha karata tha ki usake aadami teksos ke sidhe sade kisan hain. vah farm kee zindagi ke bare men ghanton batiyata. jaldi hi ham log thietar ka dhandha chhodane aur sajhedari men sooar palane ke bare men bat karane lage.

ham donon ke pas kul milakar do hajar dolar the aur tha, dher sara paisa kamane ka ek sapana. hamane yojana banayi. arakasons men pachas sent prati ekad ke hisab se do hazar ekad jamin shuroo men li jae aur bakee paisa sooar kharidane men lagaya jae. hamane jod-jad kar dekha ki agar sab kuchh thik-thak chala to sooaron ke badhate chakravriddhi dhang se paida hone aur ausatan har sal panch ke hisab se bachche janane ke hisab se panch varshon men ham ek lakh dolar bana sakate hain.

relagadi men safar karate hue ham khidakee se bahar dekhate aur sooar badon ko dekhakar josh se bhar uthate. hamare khane, sone aur yahan tak ki sapane men bhi sooar hi sooar. sooar palane ke vaigyanik taur tarikon par mainne ek kitab n kharid li hoti to sho bijanes chhodakar sooar palak ban gaya hota. lekin us kitab ne, jisamen sooaron ko badhiya karane ke sachitr tarike die gae the, mera josh thanda kar diya aur jaldi hi main is dhandhe ko bhool gaya.

is daure par apane sath main vayalin aur selo lekar chala tha. solah baras kee umr se hi apane bedaroom men main har din char se chhah ghante inhen bajane ka abhyas kiya karata tha. har hafte main thietar sanchalak se ya jise vo kahata usase vayalin ke sabak leta tha. main baen hath se bajata tha isalie vayalin bhi baen hath ke hisab se bandha tha, jisamen bas-bar aur saunding post ulat die gae the. meri badi ichchha thi ki sangit samaroh ka kalakar banoonga ya ye nahin kar paya to rangarang karyakram men bajaoonga. lekin jaise-jaise samay bitata gaya, meri samajh men aa gaya ki isamen kabhi mahir nahin ho paoonga, so mainne ise chhod diya.

1910 ka shikago apani kuroopata, bhayavahata aur kalima men ek aakarshan lie hue tha. ek aisa shahar jisamen abhi bhi shuruaati dinon ke mijaj the. karl saindaling ke shabdon men dhoone aur ispat ka ek falata-foolata sahasi mahanagar. mujhe isake charon or faile samatal maidan roos ke ghas ke maidanon jaise lagate hain. kuchh naya karane ka isamen prachand ullas tha jo tan-man ko anupranit karata tha. lekin isake bhitar ek paurushi ekakeepan dhadakata tha. is jismani bimari ke kat ke roop men maujood tha ek rashtriy manoranjan jise barlesk sho (prahasana/pairodi) kaha jata tha. isamen beharatin komediyanon ka ek gut hota tha aur sath men bis ya kuchh adhik koras ladakiyan hoti thin. kuchh sundar, kuchh ghisi-piti. kamediyan mazedar the. jyadatar sho ashlil hote the, jananakhane kee komedi ghatiya aur buraiyon se bhari huee. poora mahaul hi main ka tha. kshudr kam pratidvandvita se bhara huaa jo dekhane valon ko ulte kisi bhi prakar kee samany kamechchha se alag kar deta tha. jhooth-mooth kee bhavukata dikhana hi unakee pratikriya hoti. aise sho shikago men bhare pade the. vatsans bif trast namak aise hi ek sho men adhed umr kee bhari-bharakam auraten chust kapadon men pradarshan karati thin. is bat ka prachar kiya jata tha ki un sabhi ka vajan tanon men hai. thietar ke bahar sharmaye, sakuchae poz men unakee tasviren badi du:khad aur nirashajanak hoti thin.

shikago men ham vabash evenyoo men ek chhote hotal men rahate the. jirnn-shirn aur manahoos hone ke bavajood isamen ek romani aakarshan tha kyonki barlesk kee adhikansh ladakiyan vahan rahati thin. har shahar men ham us hotal ke bahar madhumakkhiyon kee tarah lain laga dete jahan sho vali ladakiyan thaharati thin. par jis chakkar men jaya karate the usamen kamayab nahin hue. oonchaee par chalane vali trenen rat ko tezi se nikalatin aur rah-rah kar purane baiskop kee tarah mere sone ke kamare kee dival ko jhilamila jatin. fir bhi, mujhe is hotal se pyar tha, halanki kabhi kuchh romani ghatit huaa nahin.

ek javan ladakee, shant aur sundar, kisi karan se hamesha akeli rahati thi, use chalate dekhakar lagata, jaise apane prati behad sachet hai. hotal kee lobi men aate-jate usake pas se hokar kaee bar guzara par itani himmat kabhi juta nahin paya ki parichay paoon. vaise ye to kahana hi padega ki apani taraf se usane kabhi patta nahin fenka.

shikago se kost ham jis tren men ja rahe the, vo ladakee bhi usi men thi. vest jane vali barlesk kanpaniyan aam taur par hamare hi raste hokar jatin. aur unaka karyakram bhi ek hi shahar men padata. gadi men mainne use apani kanpani ke ek sadasy se bat karate dekha. bad men vah mere pas aakar baitha.

mainne poochha, "kaisi ladakee hai vo?"

"badi hi pyari. bechari, afasos hota hai usake lie!"

"kyon?"

vah jhukakar aur pas aa gaya,"yad hai, hava udi thi ki sho kee kisi ladakee ko sifalis hai? bas, yahi hai."

sital men use kanpani chhodane diya gaya. vah aspatal men bharti huee. hamane usake lie paise ikattha kie jisamen sari ghumantoo kanpaniyon ne yogadan diya. bechari ke bare men sabako pata tha. alabatta, vo sabakee shukragujar thi aur bad men sailavarasam kee suee, jo us samay abhi nayi dava thi, lekar thik huee. aur fir se apani kanpani men vapas aa gayi.

un dinon poore amerika men veshyavritti berok-tok fail rahi thi. shikago ka vishesh nam haus aof aol neshans ke chalate tha jise do adhed umr kee mahilaen, eevarali bahanen chalati thin. isakee khyati is bat men thi ki yahan har desh kee auraten upalabdh thin. kamaron ke farnichar bhi har stail ke the : turkee, japani, looi XVI, yahan tak kee arabi tanboo bhi. ye duniya ka sabase kharchila randi bazar tha. bade-bade lakhapati, udyogapati, kaibinet mantree, sinetar aur jaj, sabhi isake grahak the. aam taur par kisi ek paripati ke log poore randi bazar ko hi ek sham ke lie apane kabje men lene ka theka kar lete karate the. batate hain ki ek bahut bade aiyyash ne vahan aisa dera jamaya ki tin hafte tak usane din ka ujala bhi nahin dekha.

jitana hi ham pashchim kee taraf badhate gae, utana hi mujhe yah pasand aata gaya. tren ke bahar jangali zamin ke vishal failav ko dekhakar mere man men aasha ka sanchar hota, bhale hi jagah sunasan aur matamaili ho. khuli jagah rooh ke lie achchhi hoti hai. hriday ko vishal banati hai. mere dekhane ka nazariya bada hota tha.

kvivalaind sent lui, minnipolis, sent pol, kanasas siti, denavar, bat, bilings, jaise shaharon men aane vale kal kee halachal thi jo meri nas-nas ko tadaka rahi thi.

doosari rangarang karyakramon vali kanpaniyon se kaee sadasy hamare dost bane. har shahar men red lait ilakon men ham men se chh: ya us se adhik log ikatthe ho jate. kabhi-kabhi kisi veshyalay kee maidam ko ham log patane men kamayab ho jate. vo us rat ke lie "adda" band kar deti aur fir hamara raj hota. yada-kada ladakiyan abhinetaon par fida ho jatin aur agale shahar tak unaka pichha karatin.

batt, montana ke red-lait ilake lambi sadakon aur unase lage agal-bagal ke chhote raston vale huaa karate the jisamen saikadon jhopadiyan thin, aur khaten lagi hoti thin. inamen jo ladakiyan milati thin unakee umr solah sal se shuroo hoti thi - ek dolar men upalabdh. batt ko kisi bhi red lait ilake ke mukabale apane yahan jyada sundar ladakiyan hone ka naz tha aur ye sach tha bhi. jahan koee sundar-si ladakee aakarshak kapadon men dikhi, dekhane vala samajh jata tha ki red lait vali hai, apani shoping kar rahi hai. dhandhe ka taim n ho to vo daen-baen nahin jhankati thi aur izazatadar ho jati thin. kaee baras bad main somar set mom se unake sedi thamasan ke charitr ko lekar ulajh pada tha. jahan tak mujhe yad hai, jin eegals ne use spring said boot vagairah pahana kar poora oot-patang sa roop de diya tha. mainne unhen bataya, janab aise kapade batt montana men koee bhi dhandhe vali pahan le to ek adhela nahin kama paegi.

1910 men batt, montana abhi bhi "nik kartara" vala shahar tha. lambe-lambe boot aur das gailan vali topiyan aur lal gulooband lagae khan majadooron ka shahar. bandook ka khel mainne apani aankhon se sadakon pe dekha, jisamen ek boodha shairif bhagode kaidi ke pairon par nishana laga raha tha. takadir se vo bad men ek band gali men fans gaya, aur kuchh huaa nahin.

ham jaise jaise pashchim kee taraf badhate jate, mera dil utana hi khush hota jata. shahar jyada saf the. raste men vinipeg, tekoma, sital, vainkoovar aur portalaind padate the. vinipeg aur vainkoovar men jyadatar darshak angrej the aur apane amerikee jhukav ke bavajood unake samane abhinay karane men aanand aaya.

aur ant men keliforniya! khili dhoop, santare aur angoor ke bag, aur prashant mahasagar ke tat par hazaron mil tak faile tad ke vrikshon ka svarg! poorv ka pravesh dvar sain fransisko achchhe vyanjanon aur saste damon ka shahar, jisane mujhe pahali bar mendhak kee tang ka jayaka diya. khalis vahin kee chij, stroberi short kek aur evokedo nashapati.

ham 1910 men pahunche jab shahar 1906 vale bhookanp se, ya unake shabdon men kahen to aag se, ubar chuka tha. pahadi raston men abhi ek ya do dararen thin lekin nuksan ka koee avashesh nahin. har chiz nayi aur chamachamati huee thi. mera chhota hotal bhi.

hamara karyakram empres men tha. isake malik the sid graumain aur unake pita, bade hi milanasar aur samajik log. pahali bar postar par main akela tha aur karno ka nam tak nahin tha. darshak - kya khoob! "vaoo vaooza" niras tha kir bhi har sho khachakhach bhara aur thahakon se goonjata huaa hota. graumain ne utsahit hokar kaha,"karno sahab ka kam jab bhi nipat jay, mere pas aana, ham log milakar sho karenge." mere lie yah utsah janak bat thi. sain fransisko men ummid aur mehanat ke zajbe ko mahasoos kiya ja sakata tha.

doosari or los enjels, badasoorat shahar tha. garm aur kashtadayak. log mariyal aur kantihin lagate the. jalavayu jyada garm thi par sain fransisko vali tazagi nahin thi; prakriti ne uttari kailiforniya ko vo sanpadaen di hain jo vilsayar boleviyar vale pragaitihasik kolatar ke gaddhon men holivud ke gayab ho jane ke bad bhi falati-foolati rahengi.

mane apana pahala daura moramonsa[1] ke grih nagar salt lek siti men samapt kiya. main mozej aur izarael ke bachchon ke bare men sochane laga. shahar kafi faila aur khula huaa hai jo sooraj kee garmi men marichika kee tarah tharrata sa dikhata hai. sadakon kee chaudaee ka andaj vahi laga sakata hai jisane vishal maidanon ko par kiya ho. moramons kee hi tarah shahar akela aur kathor hai. dekhane vale bhi vaise hi the.

salivan end konsidain sarkit men "vau vau'ja" ke pradarshan ke bad ham nyoo yark vapas aa gae jahan se sidhe ingalaind lautane ka irada tha, lekin mistar viliyam moris, jo doosare rangarang traston se lad rahe the, ne ham logon ke poore dal ko nyoo yark shahar men fortithard strit par sthit apane thietar men chhah hafte ke karyakram ke lie buk kiya. hamane e nait in en inglish myoozik hol se shuruaat kee. isamen bhari safalata mili.

saptah ke dauran ek yuvak aur usake dost ladakiyon se mulakat hone tak ka samay katane ke lie idhar udhar dolate hue viliyam moris ke amerikan myoojik hol men ghus gae. yahan, un logon ne hamara sho dekha. unamen se ek ne kaha, "main kabhi bada bana to ek aadami hai jise apane lie loonga." vo "e nait in en inglish myoolik hola" kee bat kar raha tha. us samay vah ji dabloo graifith ke lie prati din panch dolar par bayograf kanpani men film ke ekstra ke roop men kary kar raha tha. vah vyakti tha, maik senet jisane bad men keeston kanpani banayi.

nyoo yark men viliyam moris ke lie chh: saptah ka safal karyakram karane ke bad ek bar fir salivan end kansidain sarkit ke lie bis hafton ke daure ke lie hamari buking ho gayi.

doosara daura samapti ke karib aane laga to main udas ho utha. tin hi saptah rah gae the: sain fransisko, sain diego, solt lek siti aur usake bad vapis ingalaind.

sain fransisko se ravana hone ke ek din pahale market strit par tahalate hue mainne ek chhoti si dukan dekhi jisamen parde vali khidakiyan thin. likha tha, "hath aur patte dekh kar aapakee takadir batayi jati hai - ek dalar." main andar gaya, jara jhenpata huaa. mera samana bhitar ke kamare se nikalati huee lagabhag bayalis sal kee ek sundar aurat se huaa. vah bhojan ke bich men hi uth kar aa gaee thi. khana chabate hue usane laparavahi se ek chhoti tebal kee or ishara kiya jisamen divar kee or pith aur daravaje kee or mukh padata tha. meri or dekhe bina usane kaha,"baith jaiye," aur doosari taraf khud baithi. usake taur tarike bade bedhange the. "patton ko idhar udhar karo, aur tin bar meri taraf kato aur tebal par apani khuli hatheli rakho." usane patte ulate, samane failaya aur unaka adhyayan kiya. fir mere hath dekhe. "lanbi yatra ke bare men soch rahe ho, yani stets chhod doge. par jald hi vapas lautoge aur ek naya dhandha shuroo karoge - jo abhi kar rahe ho usase kuchh alag." isake bad vah kuchh hichakichaee aur bhram men pad gayi, "lagabhag vaisa hi, lekin antar hai. is nae karobar men mujhe bhari safalata dikhaee de rahi hai. tumhare samane jabardast kairiyar pada huaa hai. par mujhe nahin pata kya hai?" pahali bar usane nazaren oopar keen. fir mera hath liya, "are, han, tin shadiyan hain: pahali donon nahin chalengi, lekin ant men tin bachchon ke sath sukhi vivahit jivan bitate hue aapakee zindagi kategi." (yahan vo galat thi!). isake bad fir se usane mera hath dekha,"han, paisa bahut jyada kamaoge; kamane vala hath hai." fir usane mera chehara dekha,"shvas nali ke nyoomoniya se maroge, bayasi sal kee umr men. ek dolar, pliz. aur kuchh poochhana chahoge?"

"nahin," mai hansa, "mujhe lagata hai, main akela achchha khasa jaoonga."

salt lek siti men samachar patr apaharan aur baink dakaitiyon se bhare rahate the. nait klabon aur kaife ke grahakon ko katar men divar kee tarak munh kie hue khada karava kar nakabaposh lutere loot lete the. ek hi rat men dakaiti kee tin ghatanaen ho gayi thin aur poore shahar men aatank fail gaya tha.

sho ke bad ham pine ke lie pas ke kisi sailoon men chale jate the, aur yada-kada grahakon se parichay ho jaya karata tha. ek sham ek mota, khush-mijaz, gol chehare vala aadami do aur logon ke sath aaya. unamen se umr men sabase bada, vo mota aadami aage aaya, "us angrezi natak men tumhin log samragyee kee bhoomika kar rahe ho?"

ham logon ne muskara kar sir hilaya,"tabhi to kahoon mainne tum logon ko pahachan liya! are! aao aao!" usane apane sath aae un logon ko bulaya aur unase parichay kara kar hamen drink aokar kiye.

mota angrez tha - vaise vo uchcharan ab nam matr ko rah gaya tha - lagabhag pachas ka, achchhe svabhav ka, chhoti chamakati aankhon aur lal surkh chehare vala aadami.

rat jaise-jaise bitati gayi, usake donon dost aur mere sath ke log bar kee or chale gae. main "motoo" ke sath akela rah gaya. usake dost use yahi kahakar pukarate the.

vah hamaraz ho gaya. "us purane desh men tin sal pahale main gaya tha." usane kaha,"lekin ye vaisa nahin hai - yahi to jagah hai. yahan tis sal pahale aaya. kuchh nahin tha. bas, ek anadi montana kopar men ssalon mehanat karate-karate chootad ghis jati thi. fir dimag lagaya. main kahata hoon yahi to khel hai, ab apane pas mustande hain. kam karane ko. usane noton kee moti gaddi bahar nikali."

"chalo ek aur draink lete hain," "bach ke!" mainne mazak men kaha, "pakade ja sakate ho!"

usane mujhe badi shaitani, aur janakar muskurahat se dekha fir aankh mar kar kaha, "ye nahin bachchoo!"

jis dhang se usane aankh mari, main andar tak saham gaya. isaka matalab bahut bada tha. vaise hi muskarate hue aur mujh par apani nazaren usi tarah tikae vah bolata gaya,"samajh rahe ho?" usane kaha. mainne samajhadari se sir hilaya.

isake bad goodh bhav se apana chehara mere kan ke pas lakar usane bat shuroo kee,"un do patthon ko dekh rahe ho?" vah apane mitron ke bare men fusafusaya,"vahi apana lashkar hai, do ulloo ke paththe, dimag jara bhi nahin, lekin jigar faulad ka."

mainne savadhani se apane hothon par ungali rakhi ki log sun lenge, vo aahista bole.

"thik hai, bhaeejan, ham log aaj rat jahaj se nikal rahe hain." usane aage kaha, "suno, ham to purane jahaji thahare, hai n? tumhen kaee bar ilingatan empayar men dekha hai jate aate." munh banakar usane kaha,"mushkil kam hai mere bhaee."

main hans pada.

aur gahara razadar banane ke bad usane mujhase taumr dosti karani chahi aur mera nyoo yark ka pata manga.

"bite dinon kee khatir kabhi do-ek lain tumhen likhoonga."

shukr hai fir usane kabhi sanpark nahin kiya.

…….

nau

amerika chhodate samay mujhe koee khas afasos nahin ho raha tha, kyonki mainne lautane ka man bana liya tha. kaise aur kab, main nahin janata tha. isake bavajood, mera man abhi se landan aur apane chhote-se sukoon bhare ghar men lautane kee rah dekhane laga tha. jab se main amerika ke toor par tha, ye flait mere lie mandir jaisa ho gaya tha.

sidani ka samachar bahut dinon se nahin mila tha. apane aakhiri khat men usane likha tha ki nanaji flait men rah rahe the. lekin mere landan pahunchane par, sidani mujhe steshan par mila aur bataya ki usane shadi kar li hai, flait chhod diya hai aur briksatan rod par saje sajae ghar men rah raha hai. ye soch kar mujhe bada jhataka laga ki khushiyon se bhara vah chhota-sa svarg ab nahin raha jisane mujhe jivan jine ko ek arth diya tha, aur ghar par naj karana sikhaya tha --------. ab main beghar tha. briksatan rod par mainne pichhe kee or ek kamara liya. jagah itani manahoos thi ki mainne jitani jald ho sake, amerika lautane faisala kar liya. kisi khali slot mashin men sikka dalane par jaise kuchh nahin hota us rat landan meri vapasi par vaisa hi beparavah laga.

sidani ne choonki shadi kar li thi aur har sham kam par rahata, main usase kam hi mil pata tha; parantu ravivar ko ham man se milane gae. ye bahut hi hatash karane vala din tha kyoki man abhi bhi thik nahin huee thi. vah abhi-abhi bhajan keertan ke shoragul vale daur se hokar guzari thi aur use gaddedar divaron vale kamare men rakha gaya tha. nars hamen pahale hi takeed kar chukee thi. sidani ne use dekha, lekin main usase milane kee himmat n kar saka, isalie intazar karata raha. sidani vapis aaya to pareshan lag raha tha. usane bataya ki ilaj ke taur par man ko barfile, thande pani kee dhar se shok diya gaya tha aur usaka chehara bilkul nila pad gaya tha. is par ham logon ne use ek praivet sansthan men rakhane ka faisala kiya - kharch ab ham utha sakate the - so, ham use us jagah par le aae pagal khane men jahan ingalaind ke mahan komediyan svargiy dan lio bharti kiye gaye the.

har din main apane aapako pahale se kahin jyada begana aur jad se kata huaa mahasoos karata tha. meri samajh se agar main apane chhote se flait men lauta hota, to meri bhavanaen doosari hotin. tab svabhavik roop se udasi mujh par poori tarah se havi n ho pati. amerika se aane ke bad purana parichay, riti-rivaj aur ingalaind se mera rishta sabhi mere bhitar uthal-puthal macha rahe the. ingalaind kee garmi ka mausam apane sabase achchhe roop men tha jisake jod kee roomani aur suhavani chiz meri nazar men koee doosari nahin thi.

bos karno ne mujhe taigs aailaind ke apane haus bot par saptahant ke lie bulaya. kafi lamba chauda intazam tha. sabakuchh behad suvyavasthit. mahogani ke painal vale kamare aur mehamanon ke lie niji rajasi thath bath vale kamare. rat men bot ke charon or rangin battiyon ke manamohak bandanavar jagamaga uthe. garm aur sundar sham thi aur dinar ke bad apani kofi aur sigaret lekar oopar vale dek men jagamagati rangin roshaniyon ke niche jakar baithe gae. yahi vo ingalaind tha jo mujhe kisi bhi desh se vapas khinch sakata tha.

achanak kahin se ek banavati aavaj ne pagalon kee tarah chikhana shuroo kar diya; "are dekho, kya pyari bot hai meri, dekho! meri mast nav ko! aur kya roshani! ha! ha! ha!" aavaz mazak udane vali hansi men badal rahi thi. ham logon ne yah dekhane ke lie nazar daudayi ki kahan se yah dhara foot kar aa rahi hai. hamane khenevali nav men safed flenal ke kapade pahane ek aadami ko dekha jisake pichhe kee sit par ek aurat leti huee thi. poora drishy "pancha" patrika ke kisi kartoon chitr kee tarah tha. korno reling par jhuke aur zor se aavaz lagayi lekin usane apani pagalon jaisi hansi nahin rokee.

"ab ek hi chiz kee ja sakati hai," mainne kaha: "ham bhi vaise ashlil ban jaen jaisa vo hamen sochata hai." fir to mainne chun-chun kar aisi galiyan sunayi jo usake sath kee aurat ke jhenpane ke lie kafi thi. vo jhatapat khisak liya.

ye moorkh chilla-chillakar ruchi kee aalochana nahin kar raha tha, ye to ahankar bhara poorvagrah tha us chij ke khilaf jise vah nimn vargiy thath bath samajh raha tha. bakingham pailes ke samane vah kabhi attahas karate hue nahin chillaega ki dekho main kitane bade ghar men rahata hoon, ya rajyabhishek vale rath par nahin hansega. hamesha is tarah honevale vargikaran ka ingalaind men mujhe tikha anubhav mila. aisa lagata hai jaise is tarah ke angrej samajik taur par doosaron kee kamiyan badi jaldi hi mapane taulane lagate hain.

hamari amerikee mandali kam men lag gayi thi aur landan ke holon men ham logon ne chaudah saptah tak pradarshan kiya. sho thik chale, darshak bhi achchhe the lekin hamesha main yah sochata rahata ki kahin amerika vapis ja paoonga ya nahin. ingalaind se mujhe pyar tha, par mere lie vahan rahana asanbhav tha; apani prishthabhoomi ke chalate hamesha ye bat bechain kie rahati ki yahan rah kar main apani tuchchhata ke daladal men dhansata chala ja raha hoon. isalie stets ke agale toor ke lie hamare buk ho jane ka samachar pakar main bada khush huaa.

ravivar ko sidani aur main man se milane gae. usakee sehat pahale se behatar lagi aur sidani ke pradeshon kee taraf jane se pahale ham logon ne sath khana khaya. landan men apani aakhiri rat apani bhavanaon se joojhata huaa, udasi aur kadavahat lie hue main vest end men chahalakadami kar raha tha aur apane aap se kah raha tha, in galiyon ko aakhiri bar dekh raha hoon.

is bar ham olanpik par sekand klas men nyoo york hote hue pahunche. injan kee dhadakan dhimi pad gayi. usaka matalab tha ham apani niyati ke karib pahunch rahe hain. is bar stets aparichit nahin laga. mujhe laga main videshiyon ke bich videshi hoon, bakee sabase juda huaa.

nyoo york ko main jitana pasand karata tha, utani hi utsukata se main vest kee pratiksha kar raha tha jahan fir un logon se mulakat hogi jinhen ab main achchha dost samajhata tha : montana ke batt ke bar men kam karane vala aayarish, minepolis ka dostana mehamananavaz jamin jayadad vala lakhapati, sent pol kee sundar ladakee jisake sath mainne ek romantik saptah bitaya tha. solt lek siti ka skotish khadan malik, takoma ka mitravat dentist aur sen fransisko ka gromains parivar.

prashant ke tat par jane se pahale hamane "smalsa" ke ird gird karyakram kiye. shikago aur filadelfiya ke doorasth upanagaron aur fol rivar aur dyooluth jaise audyogik shaharon ke chhote (smal) thietaron men.

pahale kee tarah main akele rah raha tha lekin isake labh the, kyonki isase mujhe svadhyay ka mauka milata tha. jisaka sankalp mainne mahinon ke pahale kiya tha par poora nahin kar paya tha.

kuchh aise log hote hain jinamen kuchh janane samajhane kee prachand ichchha hoti hai. main bhi unhin men se ek tha. par mera uddeshy itana pavitr nahin tha. main janana chahata tha lekin mujhe gyan se prem nahin tha, mere lie yah jahilon ke prati duniya kee ghrina se bachane ke lie dhal thi. isalie jab mujhe samay milata tha, main sekend haind kitabon kee dukanon ke chakkar lagata tha.

filadelfiya men yoon hi ek bar mujhe rabart ingarasols kee kitab esez end lekchars ka ek sanskaran hath lag gaya. badi utsahajanak khoj thi yaha; usakee nastikata se mere is vishvas ko bal mila ki old testament kee bhayanak kroorata manavata ke lie sharmanak bat thi. fir mujhe imarsan mile. "self rilaensa" ("aatmanirbharata") par unaka lekh padh kar laga jaise mujhe svargiy janmasiddh adhikar saunp diya gaya ho. fir aae shapenahavar. mainne d varld ez vil end aaidiya ke tin khand kharide jise chalis salon se jab tab padhata raha hoon par kabhi bhi shuroo se ant tak nahin. valt vhitamain kee livs aof gras se mujhe chidh huee aur ye chaidh aaj tak barakarar hai. usamen pyar bhara hriday kuchh jyada hi umadata hai aur rashtriy rahasyavad kee ati hai. sho ke bich milane vale samay men apane dresing room men mainne tven, po, harthatan, irving aur haizalit ko bhi padhane ka aanand liya. doosare daure men shas‍treey shiksha utani bhale hi n aatmasat kar paya hooon jitana main chahata tha, par jis karobar men main tha usake nichale star ke ubaoopan se mera parichay ho gaya tha.

ye saste rangarang sarkits bade hi manahoos aur nirashajanak the aur amerika men mere bhavishy kee aasha saptah ke har din tin aur kabhi tin aur kabhi char sho kee chakkee men pisane lagi. isakee tulana men ingalaind ka rangarang jagat svarg tha. kam se kam vahan saptah men chh: din hi kam karate the aur ek rat men do hi sho hote the. amerika men hamen yahi soch kar santosh kar lena padata tha ki paisa kuchh jyada bach raha hai.

lagatar panch mahinon tak "kadi" mehanat ke sath kam karane kee thakan se meri himmat javab de rahi thi. isalie filadelfiya men ek hafte ke aaram ka jab mauka mila to mainne ise saharsh svikar kiya. mujhe badalav chahie tha. doosara parivesh chahiye tha. apani pahachan khokar koee aur ban jane ke lie mauka chahiye tha. roz-roz kee is ghatiya darje kee rangarang prastuti se ukata gaya tha aur socha ek hafte jam kar aisha kee jay. kafi paise jama ho chuke the aur khoonte se ek bar jo chhoota, dil khol kar kharachane laga. aur kyon nahin? mainne itana jama karane ke lie foonk -foonk kar kharch kiya tha aur ye socha tha ki jab kam nahin hoga, us samay bhi sanbhal kar kharachana hai, to fir abhi kyoon nahin jara sa kharch kar liya jae?

mainne ek manhaga dresing gaun kharida aur ek shanadar sootakes kharida jisakee keemat pichahattar dalar padi. dukanadar to khushamad men bichh gaya; "sar, kahie to aapake ghar par pahuncha diya jaye?" usake in thode se shabdon ne mera sir ooncha kar diya, mujhe kuchh vishisht bana diya. ab nyooyark jaoonga aur is ghatiya rangarang karyakram ka aur isake poore astit‍v ka chola apane par se utar fekoonga.

mainne hotal estor men ek kamara liya. ye hotal un dinon bada aalishan mana jata tha. mainne apana naya kot aur darbi top pahana, chhadi li aur han, sath men apana chhota sootakes bhi le liya. lobi kee tadak-bhadak aur vahan aate-jate logon ka vishvas dekh kar main kuchh dagamagaya. ghabadahat men hi desk par jakar nam darj karaya.

kamare ka kiraya 4.50 dalar pratidin. darate hue mainre poochha ki kiraya edavans men de doon. klark ne badi hi vinamrata aur dilasa bhare andaj men kaha, "are nahin, sar, aisi koee zaroorat nahin hai."

lobi kee chamak-damak aur shano-shaukat ke bich chalate hue meri bhavanaon ko kuchh kuchh hone laga aur kamare men pahunch kar man rone ko karane laga. kamare men main lagabhag ek ghante tak raha. batharoom men lage tarah-tarah ke aainon aur nalon ka muaayana kiya. isake thande aur garm pani ke nalon ko chalakar unaka khoob bahav dekha. nalakon aur favvaron kee badhiya kismen niharata raha. kitani behisab hoti hai vilasita aur kitani aashvast karati hai.

mainne snan kiya, balon men kanghee kee, naya bath rob pahana. mera irada tha apane char dolar pachas sent kee paee paee ko bhogana. kash, mere pas padhane ko kuchh hota - akhabar hi sahi. lekin akhabar mangane ke lie fon karane ka aatmavishvas nahin tha. so, kamare ke bich men ek kursi par baithakar atyant udas man se har chij ko niharane laga. jitana dekhata, utana hi du:khi hota jata.

kuchh der bad mainne kapade pahane aur niche utara. mukhy bhojan kaksh ka rasta poochha. abhi dinar ka samay nahin huaa tha. jagah khali-khali thi. bas, do ek khane vale pahunche the. hed vetar mujhe khidakee ke pas vali ek tebal kee or le gaya.

"sar, aap yahan baithana pasand karenge?"

"kahin bhi chalega," mainne apani sabase umda angreji aavaz men kaha.

agale hi pal vetaron kee fauj ne mujhe gher liya aur thanda pani, menyoo, makkhan aur bred pesh karane lage. bhavukata men meri bhookh gayab ho chukee thi. alabatta, mainne isharon se kam liya aur shoraba, rost kiya huaa chiken aur mithi chij ke taur par vanila aaisakrim ka aordar diya. sharabon ka ek menyoo vetar ne mujhe diya. mainne dhyan se dekhane ke bad aadhi botal shaimpen mangayi. main raees kee bhoomika men itana dooba huaa tha ki bhojan aur sharab ka maza kya hi leta. kha pi lene ke bad mainne vetar ko ek dolar ka tip diya jo un dinon ke hisab se asadharan roop se jyada tha. lekin bahar jate vakt jo adab aur aadab mujh par barasaye gaye, itani tip deni banati thi. akaran hi, main vapas apane kamare men gaya, das minat tak baitha, fir hath dhoye aur bahar nikal pada.

chupachap mulayam garmi kee sham thi. mere mood kee tarah. main metropolitan opera haus kee or ja raha tha. vahan "tainhouzara" chal raha tha. mainne kabhi bhi graind opera nahin dekha tha. isake kuchh ansh rangarang karyakramon men dekhe the aur mujhe bhayankar chidh thi isase. par abhi main isake mood men tha. mainne ek tikat kharida aur sekend sarkil men baitha. opera jarman men tha, jisaka ek bhi shabd apane palle nahin pada aur n hi mujhe isakee kahani maloom thi. lekin rani ke marane ke bad use tirth yatriyon ke samoohik gan ke sangit ke sath laya gaya to main foot-foot kar ro pada. isamen meri jindagi ka sara dard simat aaya lagata tha. main apane aapako rok nahin paya. mere aas pas baithe logon ne kya socha hoga, mujhe nahin pata, lekin bahar nikala to badan men takat nahin rah gaee thi aur bhavanatmak roop se choor-choor ho gaya tha.

sabase andhere raston se hokar main shahar kee or chalane laga kyonki brodave kee ghoorati roshani mujhase bardasht nahin ho rahi thi aur mood thik hone tak main hotal vale us vahiyat kamare men lautana bhi nahin chahata tha. thik hone par mera sidha so jane ka irada tha. sharirik aur manasik roop se main nidhal ho chuka tha.

hotal men ghusane ke pahale main achanak hetti ke bhaee aarthar keli se takara gaya. hetti jis mandali men thi usaka vah mainejar tha. usaka bhaee hone ke nate ham logon men dosti thi. aarthar ko mainne kaee barason se nahin dekha tha.

"charli! kahan ja rahe ho?" usane kaha. maine laparavahi se estar kee disha men sir hilaya, "sone ja raha tha."

aarthar par isaka asar pada.

usake sath do dost the. unase mera parichay karane ke bad usane prastav rakha ki ham sabhi medisan evenyoo sthit usake ghar chalen, kofi pi jay aur gapashap ho.

flait aaramadayak tha. ham logon ne sath baith kar halkee fulkee idhar-udhar kee baten keen. aarthar is bat ke prati satark tha ki hamare atit ka koee jikr n aane pae. vaise, mere estar men thaharane kee bat sunakar vah aur janane ko utsuk tha. lekin mainne kuchh khas bataya nahin. sirf ye ki main do ya tin dinon kee chhutati men nyooyork aaya tha.

kenbaravail men jab aarthar rah raha tha tab se ab tak usane lamba safar tay kar liya tha. ab vah amir v‍yavasayi ban gaya tha aur apane jija frenk je gold ke lie kam karata tha. usakee duniyavi baten sun kar main aur udas hota gaya. apane doston men se ek kee or ishara karate hue keli ne kaha, "achchha ladaka hai vah. achchhe parivar ka hai, meri janakari men." khanadan ke bare men usakee ruchi dekhakar main apane aap par muskuraya aur samajh gaya ki aarthar aur mera mel nahin tha.

nyoo yark men main keval ek din ruka. agali subah mainne filadelfiya lautane ka faisala kiya. us ek din men mujhe jo badalav chahie tha, vah mila par ye bhavanatmak akelepan ka tha. mujhe ab sang-sath chahie tha. mujhe somavar subah vale karyakram aur mandali ke logon se milane ka intazar tha. purane kolhoo men jutana kitana bhi ubaoo ho, us ek din ke that-bat se mera ji bhar gaya tha.

filadelfiya laut kar main thietar gaya. rivz sahab ke nam ek tar aaya tha aur unhonne jab use khola, main vahin tha.

"mujhe lagata hai kahin tumhare lie to nahin," unhonne kaha.

likha tha "aapakee kanpani men chaiqin ya vaise hi nam ka koee vyakti hai. yadi ho to vah kaisel end bavamain, 24 longakeyar bilding brodave se sanpark kare."

kanpani men us nam ka koee nahin tha, lekin rivz ka manana tha ki us nam ka matalab chaiplin ho sakata hai. fir to main aanandit ho utha kyonki mujhe, jaisa ki pata chala, longakeyar bilding brodave ke bichon-bich padati thi aur isamen vakeelon ke daftar bhare pade the; ye yad karake ki stets men kahin meri ek amir chachi huaa karati thi, meri kalpana ko pankh lag gae; guzarane se pahale vo zaroor achchha-khasa paisa chhod gayi hogi. so mainne jhatapat kesal end bavamain ko tar diya ki kanpani men chaiplin namak ek vyakti hai aur ve shayad usi ke bare men bat kar rahe hain. main utsukata se javab kee pratiksha karane laga. usi din javab mila. mainne jhat se tar fada aur kholakar padha.

likha tha: "kya aap chaiplin ko jald se jald daftar men milane ko kah sakate hain."

utsahit hokar badi aasha se mainne nyoo yark ke lie ekadam subah kee gadi pakadi. filadelfiya se dhaee ghante ka rasta tha. kya hoga mujhe nahin pata tha - mainne kalpana kee ki kisi vakeel ke daftar men baitha hoon aur mujhe koee vasiyat padhakar sunayi ja rahi hai.

pahunchane par kuchh nirasha huee kyonki kesal end bavamain vakeel nahin the, chalachitr nirmata the. alabatta, ye mamala romanchak hone ja raha tha.

charls kesal keeston kanpani ke malikon men se ek the. unhonne kaha ki mistar maik senet ne mujhe forti sekend strit vale amerikee myoozik hol men piyakkad kee bhoomika men dekha tha aur yadi main vahi aadami hoon to vo mujhe ford starling kee jagah rakhana chahenge. mere man men kaee bar filmon men kam karane ka khyal aaya tha, aur apane mainejar rivz ke samane mainne prastav bhi rakha tha ki ham log milakar sajhedari men karno ke skechej ke sarvadhikar kharid len aur unakee filmen banaen. lekin rivz ko poora bharosa nahin tha, aur bat sahi bhi thi, kyonki ham filmon banane ke bare men kuchh janate nahin the.

"kya mainne keeston kee koee komedi dekhi hai?" kesal sahab ne poochha. dekhi to mainne kaee thi, lekin mainne ye nahin bataya ki mujhe vo kahin ka eent kahin ka roda jod ke banayi lagati thi. alabatta, mabel narmed namak khoobasoorat ladakee, jo bich bich men un filmon men aati jati rahati thi, kee maujoodagi ke karan ve ab tak tike hue the. keeston dharre kee komedi ko lekar main kuchh khas utsahit nahin tha, lekin mujhe isakee lokapriyata ka bhan tha.

is lain men ek sal bitakar rangarang karyakramon kee duniya men lautane par main antarrashtriy sitara ban jaoonga. isake alava, isamen ek nayi zindagi aur achchha mahaul bhi tha. kaisal ka kahana tha ki karar ke anusar mujhe prati saptah tin filmon men kam karana hoga aur vetan hoga dedh sau dalar. karno kee kanpani se jitana milata tha, usase yah duguna tha. fir bhi mainne na nukur karate hue kaha ki prati saptah do sau dolar se kam nahin loonga. kaisal sahab ne kaha ab ye senet sahab par hai; vo unhen keliforniya men bata denge. fir mujhe soochana mil jaegi.

kaisal ke javab ka intazar mainne badi bechaini se kiya. shayad main bahut jyada mang baitha tha. aakhirakar khat aaya ki ve log pahale tin mahinon ke lie dedh sau dolar aur bakee ke nau mahinon ke lie ek sau pachahattar dolar - jindagi men ab tak isase bada aofar nahin mila tha - ke hisab se sal bhar ke karar ke lie taiyar the. salivan end kansidain toor ke samapt hote hi kam shuroo hona tha.

eeshvar kee kripa se los enjels men ham log empres men khoob chale the. yah ek komedi thi. nam tha "e nait et d klaba". main ek kamazor boodhe piyakkad kee bhoomika men tha aur dikhane men kam se kam pachas baras ka lag raha tha. natak samapt hone par senet sahab khush hokar mujhe badhaee dene aae the. us chhoti-si mulakat men mera sabaka ghani bhaunh, bhari anakarshak munh, aur majaboot jabade vale ek bhari-bharakam insan se pada tha aur is chehare mohare se main prabhavit huaa. par main is udhedabun men tha ki apane bhavishy ke rishte men vah kitani sahridayata se pesh aaenge. us sakshatkar men lagatar main behad narvas tha aur samajh nahin pa raha tha ki banda mujhase khush hai ya nahin.

main kab unhen jvain karoonga, unhonne chalataoo dhang se poochha. maine bataya sitanbar ke pahale hafte men shuroo karoonga, jab karno kanpani se mera karar khatm ho raha hai. kansas siti chhodane ko lekar mere man men kuchh khataka tha. kanpani vapas inglaind ja rahi thi aur main los enjels, jahan main akela hooonga aur bat kuchh jam nahin rahi thi. antim karyakram ke pahale mainne sabake lie drink mangaya aur sabase vida lene ke vichar se main kuchh gamagin ho gaya.

apani mandali ke aarthar dendo, jisakee mujhase kisi karan vash patati nahin thi, ko mazak soojha aur mujhe kuchh upahasatmak dhang se kasamasa kar bataya ki kanpani kee or mujhe tohafa milega. ye kabool karata hoon ki ye bat mere dil ko chhoo gayi thi. alabatta, kuchh huaa nahin. dresing room se jab sab ja chuke the, fred karno jooniyar ne svikar kiya ki daindo ne vastav men ek vidaee bhashan taiyar kiya tha aur mujhe ek bhent dene kee vyavastha kee thi, lekin ye dekhakar ki mainne sabake lie pine ka intajam kiya hai, usakee vo sab karane kee himmat nahin huee aur vah tathakathit "upahara" dresing tebal ke aaine ke pichhe chhod gaya tha. tin kee panni men lipati huee tanbakoo kee khali dibiya thi jisamen chikanaee vale rogan kee purani khurachan rakhi huee thi.


§ karna trup men ham sahi tarike se tempo par maharat hasil kar saken, isamen ek sath kam karane men hamen chh: mahine lag jaya karate the tab tak hamen kraich kraud kaha jata tha.

……

(kramashah agale ankon men jari…)

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tag : charlie chaplin, autobiography of charlie chaplin in Hindi, hindi translation of charlie chaplin’s autobiography, suraj prakash

charli chaiplin kee aatmakatha (4)

Posted: 30 Aug 2008 11:25 AM PDT

charli chaiplina

charlie chaplin

meri aatm katha

-anuvad : sooraj prakasha

suraj prakash

(pichhale ank 3 se jari…)

main akela hota chala gaya. ravivaron kee rat ko uttari shaharon men pahunchana, andhiyari mukhy gali men se gujarate hue giraja ghar kee ghantiyon kee udas tunatunahat sunana. ye sari baten mere akelepan men kuchh bhi n jod pati. saptah ke ant kee chhuttiyon ke dinon men main sthaniy bajar khangalata, aur apani kharidari karata, rashan-pani kharidata, mans kharidata jise makan malakin paka kar de deti. kaee bar mujhe khane aur rahane kee suvidha mil jati aur main tab rasoee men baith kar parivar ke sath hi khata. mujhe vah vyavastha achchhi lagati kyonki uttari ingalaind ke rasoeeghar saf-suthare aur bhare poore hote, vahan polish kie hue fayaragret hote aur nili bhattiyan hotin. makan malakin ka bred senkana, aur thande andhiyare din men se nikal kar lankashayar rasoee kee jalati aag kee lal lau ke dayare men aana hamesha achchha lagata. vahan bina sinkee dabalarotiyon ke dibbe bhatti ke aas-pas par bikhare hote, tab parivar ke sath chay ke lie baithana, bhatti se abhi-abhi nikali garama-garam dabalaroti kee sondhi-sondhi mahak, us par lagaya gaya taza makkhan...main ganbhir mahanata odhe inaka aanand uthata.

main pradeshon men chhah mahine tak raha. is bich sidani ko thiyetar men hi kam talashane men bahut kam safalata mili thi isalie ab vah kalakar banane kee apani mahattvakanksha ko tyag kar straind men kol hol men ek bar men kam ke lie aavedan karane par majaboor ho gaya. ek sau pachas aavedakon men se yah naukari use mili thi. lekin mano ek tarah se yah usaka pahale kee sthiti se patan tha.

vah mujhe niyamit roop se likha karata aur man ke bare men mujhe samachar deta rahata. lekin main shayad hi usake khaton ke javab deta. isaka ek karan tha ki mujhase vartani kee galatiyan bahut hotin. usake ek khat ne to mujhe itani gaharaee se huaa aur isakee vajah se main usake aur najadik aa gaya. usane mujhe usake khaton ka javab n dene ke karan fatakar lagayi aur yad dilaya tha ki ham kaise-kaise din ek sath dekh kar yahan tak pahunche hain aur is bat se hamen kam se kam ek doosaron ke aur karib hona chahie.

sidani ne likha,".. man kee bimari ke bad ham donon ke pas ek doosare ke alava aur kaun bache hain. tum niyamit roop se likha karo aur mujhe batao ki mera ek bhaee bhi hai."

usaka patr itana adhik bhavapoorn tha ki mainne turant hi usaka javab de diya. ab main sidani ko doosare hi aalok men dekh raha tha. usake patr ne bhratritv ke pyar ka aisa atoot bandhan bandha jo meri poori zindagi mere sath bana raha.

main akele rahane ka aadi ho chuka tha. lekin main batachit karane se itana vimukh hota chala gaya ki jab kampani ka koee sathi mujhase milata to main bahut jyada pareshani men pad jata. main apane aapako fatafat is bat ke lie taiyar hi n kar pata ki hajir javabi se, samajhadari se kisi bat ka javab de sakoon. log-bag mujhe chhod kar chale jate. mujhe pakka yakeen hai ki meri buddhi ke prati ghabadakar chintatur ho kar hi mujhase vida lete.

ab udaharan ke lie, mis greta hon ko hi len. ve hamari pramukh abhinetree thin. khoobasoorat, aakarshak aur dayaluta kee sakshat pratima, lekin jab mainne unhen sadak par kar apani taraf aate dekhata to main teji se mud kar ya to ek dukan kee khidakee men dekhane lagata ya usase milane se bachane ke lie kisi doosari hi gali men sarak jata.

mainne apane-aap kee paravah karani chhod di aur apani aadaton men laparavah hota chala gaya. jab main kampani ke sath yatra kar raha hota to relave steshan pahunchane men mujhe hamesha der ho jati. aakhiri palon men pahunchata aur meri halat ast-vyast hoti, mainne kolar bhi n lagaya hota, aur mujhe hamesha is bat ke lie fatakar sunani padati.

mainne apane sath ke lie ek kharagosh kharid liya aur main jahan bhi rahata, use chhupa kar apane kamare men le jata aur makan malakin ko is bat kee hava bhi n lag pati. ye ek chhota-sa pyara-sa jiv tha jo beshak idhar-udhar munh nahin marata tha. isakee far itani safed aur saf thi ki yah bat kisi kee dhyan men bhi nahin aati thi ki isakee gandh kitani tikhi ho sakati hai. main ise apane bistar ke niche ek lakadi ke pinjare men chhupa kar rakhata. makan malakin khushi-khushi mere kamare men mera nashta le kar aati, tabhi use is mahak ka pata chalata, tab vah kamare se pareshan aur bhramit ho kar chali jati, usake kamare se bahar jate hi main apane kharagosh ko aazad kar deta aur vah sare kamare men fudakata firata.

bahut pahale hi mainne apane kharagosh ko is bat kee trening de di thi ki jyon hi vah daravaje par khatakhat sune, palat kar apani peti men chala jaye. agar makan malakin ko mere is rahasy ka pata chal bhi jaye to main apane kharagosh ko trik karake dikhane ko kah kar usaka dil jit leta aur vah fir hamen poora hafta rahane ke lie ijajat de deti.

lekin tonipendi, vels men, mainne apani trik dikhayi to makan malakin rahasyamay dhang se muskurayi lekin usane koee ray jahir nahin kee, lekin us rat jab main thiyetar se lauta to mera priy palatoo kharagosh ja chuka tha. jab mainne usake bare men poochhatachh kee to makan malakin ne sirf apana sir hila diya,"kahin bhag-vag gaya hoga ya use zaroor kisi ne chura liya hoga." usane badi chaturaee se apane-aap hi samasya ko sulajha liya tha.

tonipendi se ham aibbi vel ke khadanon vale shahar men pahunche jahan hamen tin raton ke lie rukana tha. aur main is bat ke lie shukragujar tha ki hamen sirf tin din hi rukana tha kyonki aibbivel ek silan-bhari jagah thi jo un dinon ganda-sa shahar huaa karata tha, bhayanak, ek jaise makanon kee ek ke bad ek katar, har ghar men char chhote kamare the jinamen tel kee kuppiyan jalatin. kanpani ke jyadatar log ek chhote-se hotal men thahare. saubhagy se mujhe ek khadanakarmi ke ghar men samane kee taraf vala kamara mil gaya. kamara beshak chhota tha lekin ye saf aur aaramadayak tha. rat ko jab main natak se vapis lautata to kamare men aag ke pas hi mera khana rakh diya jata jahan vah garam rahata.

makan malakin lambi, khoobasoorat-si aurat thi jisake aas-pas trasadi ka ek aavaran lipata huaa tha. vah subah mere kamare men nashta le kar aati aur shayad hi kabhi ek-aadh shabd bolati. mai not kiya ki usakee rasoee ka daravaja hamesha hi band rahata. jab bhi mujhe kisi chiz kee zaroorat hoti, mujhe daravaja khatakhatana padata aur daravaja ekadh inch hi khola jata.

doosari rat jab main rat ka khana kha raha tha to usaka pati aaya. vah lagabhag apani patni kee umr ka raha hoga. us sham vah thiyetar gaya huaa tha aur use hamara natak achchha laga tha. batachit karate samay vah khada hi raha. usane hath men ek jalati momabatti pakadi huee thi aur vah sone ke lie jane kee taiyari men tha. vah bat karate samay thoda ruka mano kuchh kahana chah raha ho."...suno, mere pas kuchh aisa hai jo mujhe lagata hai, tumhare kam kaj men kahin fit ho sakata hai. kabhi manav mendhak dekha hai? lo is momabatti ko pakado aur main laimp pakadata hoon."

vah mujhe rasoee ghar tak le kar gaya aur laimp ko dresar par rakh diya. dresar par oopar se niche tak alamari ke daravajon ke pallon kee jagah par parada laga huaa tha. "...ai gilbart, jara bahar to nikalo." usane parade sarakate hue kaha.

ek aadha aadami jisake pair nahin the, samany aakar se bada sir, lal bal, chapata-sa matha, bimar-sa safed chehara, dhansi huee nak, bada-sa munh aur majaboot kandhe aur bahen, dresar ke niche se nikal kar aaya. usane falanel ka janghiya pahana huaa tha. janghiye ke kapade ko janghon tak kat diya gaya tha. vahan usake das mote, thoonth jaise panje nazar aa rahe the. is daravane prani kee umr bis se chalis ke bich kuchh bhi ho sakati thi.

"ai, ... he gilbart, jara kood ke dikhao." pita ne kaha aur din-hin aadami ne apane aapako thoda niche kiya aur lagabhag mere sir kee oonchaee tak apani bahen oopar uchhal din.

"...kya khyal hai? sarkas ke lie yah fit rahega? manav mendhak?"

main itana bhayabhit ho gaya tha ki javab hi n de saka. alabatta, mainne unhen kaee sarkason ke nam pate bataye jahan ve is bare men likh sakate the.

ve is bat par ade rahe ki ye lijalija prani aur bhi uchhal kood, kalabajiyan aur kood fand dikhaye. use aaram kursi ke hatthe par hathon ke bal khada kiya gaya, kudaya gaya. jab usane apane ye sab karatab band kiye to mainne yah jatalaya ki ye vakaee utsah janak hai aur in triks par use badhaee di.

kamare se bahar nikalane se pahale mainne usase kaha ..."gud nait gilbart," to koone men se aati si, jaban daba kar use bechare ne javab diya," ...gud nait?"

us rat kaee bar main utha aur apane band daravaje ko achchhi tarah dekha-bhala. agali subah makan malakin khush mijaz najar aayi aur usake chehare par sanvad karane jaise bhav the. "mera khyal hai, tumane kal rat gilbart ko dekha hai," kaha usane, "han, ye zaroor hai ki jab ham thietar ke logon ko ghar men rakhate hain to vah dresar ke niche hi sota hai."

tab yah vahiyat khyal mere man men aaya ki main gilbart ke bistar men hi sota raha hoon.... "han," mainne javab diya aur usake sarkas men jane kee sanbhavanaon par nape-tule shabdon men hi bat karata raha.

makan malakin ne sir hilaya,"...ham aksar is bare men sochate rahe hain."

mera utsah - ya ise jo bhi nam de den - makan malakin ko khush karata ja raha tha. vahan se chalane se pahale main rasoee men gilbart ko bay-bay kahane gaya. sahaj rahane kee koshish karate hue mainne usaka bada-sa faila huaa hath apane hath men liya aur usane haule se mera hath dabaya.

chalis hafton tak alag-alag pradeshon men pradarshan karane ke bad ham landan laute. ab hamen aas-pas ke upanagaron men aath hafte tak pradarshan karane the. sharalok homs, jo sadabahar safalata ke jhande gadata tha, pahale toor ke hone ke bad tin hafte bad doosare toor se shuroo hone vala tha.

ab sidani aur mainne tay kiya ki paunal teres vala apana kamara chhod den aur keningatan rod par kisi jyada izazatadar jagah men ja kar rahen. ham ab sanpon kee tarah apani kenchul ko utar fenk dena chahate the. apane atit ko dho ponchh dena chahate the.

mainne homs ke agale daure ke dauran sidani ko ek chhoti-si bhoomika diye jane ke bare men mainejament se bat kee. aur use kam mil bhi gaya. ek hafte ke paintis shiling. ab ham apane daure par sath ek sath the.

sidani har hafte man ko khat likhata tha aur hamare doosare daure ke aakhiri dinon men hamen ken hil pagal khane se ek patr mila ki ab hamari man kee sehat bilakul thik hai. yah nishchit hi ek behatar khabar thi. hamane fatafat aspatal se man ko discharj karane ke intazam kiye aur is bat kee taiyariyan keen ki vah hamare pas hi riding shahar men pahunch jaye. is mauke ka jashn manane ke lie hamane ek speshal dilaks apartament liya jisamen do bedaroom the, ek draingaroom tha jisamen piyano rakha huaa tha. hamane man ka bedaroom foolon se saja diya aur ek shanadar dinar ka intajam kiya.

sidani aur main steshan par man ka intazar karate rahe. ham tanav men bhi the aur khush bhi. lekin main is bat ko soch-soch kar pareshan huaa ja raha tha ki ab vah kaise hamari zindagi men fir se fit ho payegi, is bat ko janate hue ki un dinon kee vah aatmiy ghadiyan fir se nahin ji ja sakengi.

aakhirakar tren aa pahunchi. savariyan jaise-jaise dibbon men se nikal kar aa rahi thin, ham uttejana aur anishchitata se unake chehare dekh rahe the. aur aakhir men vah nazar aayi. muskurati huee aur chupachap dhire-dhire hamari taraf badhati huee. jab ham usase milane ke lie aage badhe to usane jyada bhav pradarshit nahin kiye lekin vatsaly ke sath hamen pyar kiya. tay tha vah apane aapako edajast karane ke bhishan daur se guzar rahi thi. taiksi se apane kamaron tak kee us chhoti-si yatra men hamane hazaron baten kee, matalab kee aur bematalab kee.

man ko apartament aur usake bedaroom ke fool dikha dene ke tatkalik utsah ke bad ham apane aapako draingaroom men ek doosare ke samane khali-khali baitha pa rahe the. hamari sans fool rahi thi. dhoop bhara din tha aur hamara apartament ek shant gali men tha. lekin ab isakee shanti bechain kar rahi thi. halanki main khush hona chahata tha lekin pata nahin kyon, main apane-aapako ek tarah ke dil doobane vale ke bhav se ladata huaa pa raha tha. bechari man, usane khush aur santusht rahane ke lie zindagi se kitana kam chaha tha, mujhe apane takalif bhare atit kee yad dila rahi thi ...vah duniya kee aakhiri aurat thi jisane mujhe is tarah se prabhavit kiya hoga. lekin mainne apani taraf se in bhavanaon ko chhupane kee bharapoor koshish kee. usakee umr thodi badh gayi thi aur vazan bhi badh gaya tha. main hamesha is bat par garv kiya karata tha ki hamari man kitani shanadar dikhati hai aur dhang se pahani odhati hai, aur main chahata tha ki main apani kampani ko usake behatarin roop men dikhaoon. lekin ab vah anakarshak dikh rahi thi. man ne zaroor meri shanka ke tad liya hoga tabhi to usane meri taraf prashn bhari nigahon se dekha.

jhijhakate hue mainne man ke balon kee lat ka thik kiya,"...meri kampani se milane se pahale," main muskuraya,"main chahata hoon ki tum apane sarvashreshth roop men hovo."

hamen ek doosare se edajast hane men jyada vakt nahin laga. aur meri hatasha udan chhoo ho gayi. ab ham us aatmiyata ke dayare se bahar aa chuke the jo vah tab janati thi jab ham bachche the aur tab vah us bat ko ham bachchon se behatar janati thi. aur yah bat hamen aur bhi pyari bana rahi thi. hamare toor ke dauran vah kharidari karati, sauda suluf lati, ghar par fal vagairah le aati, khane-pine ke lie kuchh n kuchh achchhi chizen le aati aur thode se fal to jaroor hi kharid kar lati. ham atit men kitane bhi garib kyon n rahe hon, shanivaron kee rat ke vakt kharidari karate samay ham hamesha peni bhar ke fool kharidane ka jugad to kar hi liya karate the. aksar vah shant aur apane aap men gumasum rahati aur usaka ye alagav mujhe udas kar jata. vah hamare sath man kee tarah pesh aane ke bajaye mehamanon kee tarah pesh aati.

ek mahine ke bad man ne landan vapis jane kee ichchha prakat kee. vah ab ghar basa lena chahati thi taki jab ham daure se vapis aayen to usake pas hamare lie ek ghar ho. isake alava, jaisa ki usane kaha, is tarah sada sairon par ghoomate hue ek atirikt kiraya dene kee tulana men landan men ghar le kar rahana kahin jyada sasta padega.

man ne chestar strit par naee kee dukan ke oopar ek flait kiraye par le liya. yahan ham pahale bhi rah chuke the. man kiston par das paund ka farnichar le aayi. kamare halanki varselis ke kamaron jaise bade aur shanadar nahin the lekin man ne to kamal kar diya aur kamaron ka kaya-kalp kar diya. usane sone ke kamaron ko santari rang ke kretas aur kreton se rang dala. ab kamare sajavati almariyon kee tarah dikhane lage the. ham donon, sidani aur main mil kar har hafte char paund aur panch shiling kama rahe the aur usamen se ek paund aur panch shiling man ko bhej dete.

apane doosare daure ke bad main aur sidani ghar vapis laute aur ek hafta man ke sath rahe. halanki ham man ke pas aa kar khush the, fir bhi ham man hi man fir se daure par jane kee chah rakhane lage the kyonki chestar strit ke ghar men ve sari suvidhaen us tarah kee nahin thin jinake main ab aur sidani aadi hone lage the. bila shak man ne is bat ko tad liya. jab hamen steshan par vida karane ke lie aayi to vah kafi khush lag rahi thi lekin ham donon ne socha, jab pletafarm par khadi vah rumal hilati hamen vida kar rahi thi to hamen vah chintit lagi.

hamare tisare daure ke dauran man ne hamen likha ki luis, jisake sath sidani aur main keningat rod par rahe the, nahin rahi hai. mazak hi to kaha jayega ki, usakee mrityu bhi laimbeth yatim ghar men hi huee jis jagah par kuchh arase tak hamen rakha gaya tha. vah pita ji ke bad sirf char baras hi ji payi thi aur apane bachche ko yatim chhod gayi thi. us bechare ko bhi us anathalay men hi rakha gaya aur use bhi usi honavel skool men hi bheja gaya tha jahan sidani aur mujhe bheja gaya tha.

man ne likha tha ki vah bachche se milane ke lie gayi thi aur use batane kee koshish kee thi ki vah kaun hai aur ki sidani aur main keningatan rod par usake aur usake papa...mammi ke sath rahe the lekin bachche ko kuchh bhi yad nahin tha kyonki vah us samay matr char baras ka hi tha. use apane pita kee bhi koee smritiyan nahin thin. ab vah das baras ka hone ko aaya tha. use luis ke mayake vale nam ke sath rakha gaya tha aur man jahan tak pata laga payi thi, usaka koee rishtedar nahin tha. man ne likha tha ki vah khoobasoorat aur shant ladaka nikal aaya tha. vah sharmila aur khyalon men khoya rahane vala ladaka tha. vah usake lie thaila bhar mithaiyan, santare aur seb lekar gayi thi aur usase vayada kiya tha ki vah usake pas niyamit roop se aati rahegi aur mera vishvas hai vah tab tak jati bhi rahi hogi jab tak vah khud bimar ho kar fir se ken hil men vapis n bhej di gayi ho.

man ke ek bar fir pagal ho jane kee khabar sine men khanjar kee tarah lagi. hamen poore byaure kabhi nahin mil paye. hamen sirf ek shushk sarakari parchi mili ki vah bematalab aur asangat tarike se galiyon men firati huee payi gayi thi. ham kuchh bhi to nahin kar sakate the sivay isake ki bechari man kee kismat ke lekhe ko svikar kar len. usake bad usaka dimag fir kabhi poori tarah se thik nahin huaa.

vah kaee baras tak ken hil pagal khane men hi tab tak ediyan ragadati rahi jab tak ham is layak nahin ho gaye ki use ek praivet pagal khane men bharti karava saken.

kaee bar badakismati ke devata bhi apani chalate-chalate thak jate hain aur thodi-si daya maya dikhala dete hain jaisa ki man ke mamale men huaa. apane jivan ke antim sat baras man ko aaram se, foolon se ghire hue aur dhoop se ghire hue bitane ka mauka mila. vah apane bade ho gaye sapooton ko yash aur kismat ke us star ko bhogate dekh sakee jisakee usane kabhi kalpana kee thi.

sharalok homs ke tisare toor ke karan hi sidani aur mujhe man ko dekhane aane men achchha-khasa vakt lag gaya. frohamain kampani ke sath toor hamesha ke lie khatm ho gaya. isake bad thiyetar royal, blaikabarn ke malik mistar hairi york ne frohamain se chhote shaharon men khelane ke lie sharalok homs ke adhikar kharid liye. sidani aur mujhe nayi kampani men rakh liya gaya lekin ab hamara vetan ghata kar paintis shiling prati saptah kar diya gaya tha.

uttari ingalaind ke chhote shaharon men apekshakrit halke star ke kampani ke sath natak khelana ghutan paida karane vala aur star se niche aane jaisa tha. isake bavajood, isane mere is vivek ko samriddh kiya ki jo kampani ham chhod kar aaye the aur jisamen kam kar rahe the unamen kya fark tha. main is tulana ko chhupane kee koshish karata lekin riharsalon ke samay, naye nirdeshak kee madad karane ke utsah men main aksar use batane lagata ki ye kam to frohamain kampani men is tarah se hota tha aur falan kam us tarah se hota tha. vah bechara to mujhase stej dayarekshan, sanvadon ke sanketon tatha stej par hone vale kamon ke bare men poochh liya karata tha. lekin sach to yah tha ki main apani is harakat se bakee kalakaron ke sath khas taur par lokapriy nahin ho paya tha aur mujhe badabole ke roop men dekha jane laga tha. bad men, naye stej par apani yoonifarm men se ek batan kho dene ke karan mainejar ne mujh par das shiling ka jurmana thonk diya. is batan ke bare men ve mujhase pahale bhi kaee bar kah chuke the.

viliyam gilet, sharalok homs ke lekhak, klarisa nam ke natak men mariyo doro ko le kar aaye. ye natak bhi unhonne hi likha tha. samikshak natak ke prati aur gilet kee spich ke tarike ke prati bahut beraham the, jisakee vajah se gilet sahab ko ek parda uthaoo, karten rejar natak da' penaful prediktament aof sharalak homsa' likhane par majaboor hona pada. isamen unhonne kabhi ek shabd bhi nahin bola tha. natak ke patron men sirf tin hi log the, ek pagali, khud homs aur unaka pej boy. jab mujhe mistar postent, gilet ke prabandhak se ek tar mila to mujhe laga, mere lie svarg se khas sandesh aa gaya hai. mujhase poochha gaya tha ki kya main landan aa kar karten rejar men viliyam gilet mahoday ke sath bili kee bhoomika ada karana chahoonga?

main pesopesh ke mare kanpane laga. meri chinta ye thi ki kya meri kampani vale itane kam samay ke notis par pradeshon men meri jagah koee doosara bili khoj lenge. main kaee din tak uhapoh vale rahasy men doobata-itarata raha. alabatta, unhen doosara bili mil gaya.

landan men vapis laut kar vest end men natak karane ke anubhav ko main sirf apane punarjagaran ke roop men hi bayan kar sakata hoon. mera dimag pratyek ghatana ke romanch ke sath chakar-ghinni sa ghoom raha tha. sham ke vakt daÎk‍yoo ke york thiyetar men pahunchana aur stej mainejar mistar postent se milana, jo mujhe mistar gilet ke dresing roop men liva le gaye, aur jab mera unase parichay karava diya gaya to un‍honne mujhase poochha,"...kya tum mere sath sharalok homs men kam karana chahoge?"

aur mera utsah ke mare narvas ho jana, ..."oh zaroor, mistar gilet, zaroor zaroor...." aur agali subah riharsal ke lie stej par intazar karana aur pahali bar mariyo doro ko dekhana. ve nihayat khoobasoorat safed rang kee garmi kee poshak pahane hue thin. subah ke vakt itani khoobasoorat kisi mahila ko dekh lene ka achanak jhataka! ve do pahiye kee ek bagghee men aayi thin aur unhonne paya ki unakee poshak par kahin syahi ka ek dhabba lag gaya hai. ve natak kee praparti vale se poochhana chah rahi thin ki kahin kuchh hoga is dag se chhutakara pane ke lie to jab us aadami ne is bare men shak jahir kiya to unake chehare par khijh ke itane shanadar bhav aaye,"oh, lekin kya ye itana vahiyat nahin hai?"

ve bala kee sundar thin. main unase khafa ho gaya. men unake nazuk, kaliyon se khilate honthon se naraz ho gaya, unake ek jaise safed danton se naraz ho gaya, unakee madamast thuddi ne mujhe khafa kar diya, unake laharate bal, aur unakee gahari bhoori aankhon ne mujhe naraz kar diya. main unake naraz hane kee ada par naraz huaa aur us aakarshan par khafa huaa jo unhonne is bat ko poochhate samay dikhaya tha. is poochhatachh ke dauran main unake aur praparti vale ke bas ekadam pas hi khada huaa tha, par ve meri upasthiti se poori tarah anajan thin. halanki main unake pas hi, unakee khoobasoorati se thaga aur mantr biddh sa khada tha. main hal hi men solah baras ka huaa tha aur is achanak chakachaundh ke sanidhy ne mera yah pakka irada samane la diya ki main isase abhibhoot nahin hooonga. lekin he bhagavan! ve itani khoobasoorat thin. ye pahali hi nazar men pyar tha.

da' penaful prediktament aof sharalok homsa' men aairin vanabrug nam kee ek bahut hi utkrisht abhinetree ne pagali kee bhoomika kee thi aur natak men bolane ka sara kam vahi karati thin jabaki homs chupachap baithe rahate aur sunate. ye samikshakon par karara tamacha tha. meri hisse men shuruaati lainen thi, main homs ke apartament me ja ghusata hoon aur daravaja thamata hoon jabaki bahar se pagali daravaja lagatar pit rahi hai aur jab main utsah men bhar kar homs ko ye samajhana chahata hoon ki kya ho raha hai, pagali dhadadhadati huee andar aati hai. lagatar bis minat tak vah kisi aise mamale ke bare men aany bany bakati rahati hai jisake bare men vah chahati hai ki homs hath men le len. chori chhupe homs ek parchi likhate hai aur ghanti bajate hain aur vah parchi mujhe thama dete hain. bad men do hatte katte aadami aa kar us pagali ko liva le jate hain. main tatha homs akele rah jate hain. main kahata hoon,"... aap thik kahate hain sar, yah sahi pagal khana tha."

samikshakon ko latifa achchha laga lekin klarisa natak jo gilet ne mairi doro ke lie likha tha, flop gaya. halanki unhonne mairi kee khoobasoorati ke gunnagan kiye the lekin unhonne likha ki yahi kafi nahin madonmatt natak ko bandhe rakhane ke lie. isalie gilet ne us sijan ka bakee vakt sharalok homs ko fir se naye sire se pesh karake guzara. mujhe is natak men fir se bili kee bhoomika ke lie rakh liya gaya.

vikhyat viliyams gilet ke sath kam karane ke ati utsah men main apane kam kee sharton vagairah ke bare men bat karana hi bhool gaya. saptah khatm hone par mistar postent mere pas aaye aur mujhe vetan ka lifafa dete hue sharminda hote hue kahane lage,"...main tumhen ye rashi dete hue vakaee sharminda hoon lekin frohamain ke daftar men mujhe yahi bataya gaya tha ki mujhe tumhen utani hi rashi deni hai jitani pahale tum hamase lete rahe the....do paund aur das shiling." mujhe ye rashi pa kar sukhad aashchary huaa.

homs kee riharsalon ke dauran, main meri doro se fir mila...vah pahale se bhi jyada khoobasoorat najar aa rahi thin. mere is sankalp ke bavajood ki main unakee khoobasoorati ke jal men nahi fansoonga, main unake maun pyar ke nirashajanak sagar men aur gahare dhansata chala gaya. main is kamazori se nafarat karata tha aur apane charitr kee kamazori ke karan khud se khafa tha. ye ek tarafa pyar ka mamala tha. main unase pyar bhi karata tha aur nafarat bhi karata tha. itana hi nahin, vah bala kee khoobasoorat aur bhavy thin.

homs men ve elis fokanar kee bhoomika nibhati thin. lekin natak ke dauran ham kabhi bhi nahin mile. alabatta, main sidhiyon par unaka intazar karata aur ve jab guzar kar jatin to gud marning kah diya karata. ve javab men khush hokar gud marning kahatin aur yahi tha jo ham donon ke bich ho paya.

homs ne hathon-hath safalata ke jhande gad diye. natak jab chal raha tha to rani elekjendra bhi dekhane aayin. unake sath royal boks men gris ke raja aur prins krishchiyan bhi baithe the. prins raja ko jabaradasti natak samajhaye ja rahe the aur aise atyant tanav bhare aur ashant palon men jab homs aur main stej par akele hote hain, poore thiyetar men goonjati-si ek aavaz sunaee di,"...mujhe mat batao, mujhe mat batao."

diaon bausikalt ka daftar bhi dyook aof york thiyetar men hi tha aur aate-jate ve mere sir par pyar bhari chapat laga diya karate. hal ken bhi aisa hi karate. ve aksar gilet se milane baik stej men aa jaya karate. ek mauke par to mujhe lord kichanar se muskurahat ka bhi samman mila.

jab sharalok homs chal raha tha, unhin dinon sar henari irving ka dehant ho gaya aur mujhe vestaminstar aibbi men unake antim sanskar men jane ka mauka mila. main choonki vest end ka ektar tha isalie mujhe vishesh pas mila aur main is bat se behad khush huaa. antim sanskar ke vakt main shant levis valar aur do. valford bodi ke bich baitha. levis un dinon landan ke romantik abhinetaon ke betaz badashah the aur doktar bodi kee khyati raktarahit sarjari ke karan thi. un par mainne bad men ek rangarang karyakram men unake patr ka svang kiya tha. valar mauke kee nazakat ke anuroop khoobasoorat tarike se kapade pahane hue the aur gardan akadaye, sidhe baithe ve n dayen dekh rahe the aur n bayen. lekin doktar bodi, bas is koshish men ki ve henari ke taboot ko niche ab utare jate samay behatar tarike se dekh payen, dyook kee chhati se uchak uchak kar dekhate rahe. jabaki valar sahab ko achchhi khasi koft ho rahi thi. mainne kuchh bhi dekhane kee koshish hi chhod di aur mere aage jo log baithe hue the, sirf unhin kee pith kee taraf dekhata raha.

sharalok homs ke band hone se do saptah pahale mistar bausikolt ne vikhyat mistar aur misej kaindal ke nam mujhe is bat kee sanbhavana ke sath ek parichay patr diya ki shayad mujhe unake naye natak men koee bhoomika mil jaye. ve sent jems thiyetar men apane safal natak ke sho khatm kar rahe the. milane ke lie savere das baje ka samay tay huaa. maidam kaindal mujhe foyar men milane vali thin. ve bis minat deri se aayin. aakhirakar, gali men ek aakriti ubhari. ye misej kaindal thin. lambi tagadi, abhimani mohatarama. unhonne yah kahate hue mera abhivadan kiya,"oh, to tum ho, chhokare se!! ham jald hi pradeshon kee taraf ek naya natak le kar ja rahe hain. main chahoongi ki tum hamen apani bhoomika padh kar sunao. lekin filahal to ham bahut hi vyast hain. isalie tum kal subah isi vakt yahan aa rahe ho!!"

"maf karana maidam," mainne thandepan ke sath javab diya, "lekin main shahar se bahar koee bhi kam svikar nahin kar sakata." isake sath hi mainne apana hait oopar kiya, foyar se bahar aaya, vahan se guzarati ek taiksi rukavayi aur - main das mahine tak bekar raha tha.

jis rat dyook aof yark thiyetar men sharalok homs ka antim sho huaa, aur mairi doro ko amerika vapis lautana tha, main akela hi bahar nikal gaya aur sharab pi kar buri tarah se dhutt ho gaya. do ya tin baras bad filedalfiya men mainne unhen dobara dekha. unhonne us naye thiyetar ka samarpan kiya tha jisamen main karno komedi kampani men abhinay kar raha tha. ve abhi bhi pahale kee hi tarah khoobasoorat thin. main vings men apana komedi ka mek ap kiye hue unhen dekhata raha tha. ve bhashan de rahi thin. main itana adhik sharama raha tha ki aage badh kar unhen apane bare men bata hi nahin paya tha.

landan men homs ke samapan par pradeshon men kam karane vali kampani ke natak bhi samapt ho chale the aur is tarah se sidani aur main, donon hi bina kam ke the. sidani ne alabatta, naya kam talashane men koee vakt nahin ganvaya. natakon se sanbandhit ek akhabar aira men ek vigyapan dekh kar vah sadak chhap komedi karane vali charli mainan kee kampani men shamil ho gaya. un dinon is tarah kee bahut sari kampaniyan huaa karati thin jo holon ke chakkar lagati firati thin. charli baldavin kee baink klarkas, jo bogani kee lunaitik bekars aur boisete trup, ye sab ke sab mook abhinay karate the. halanki ye log prahasan komedi karate the, unamen sath sath bajaya jane vala sangit hota tha aur ye bahut lokapriy huaa karate the. sabase utkrisht kampani karno sahab kee thi jinake pas komediyon ka khajana tha. in sabako bards kaha jata tha. ye hote the, jel bard, arli bards, maming bards. in tin skechon se karno sahab ne tis se bhi jyada kampaniyon ka thiyetar ka tam jham khada kar liya tha. inamen krisamas pentomaim aur khoob tam jham vale sangit karyakram hote. karno sahab ke inhin natakon kee den thi ki vahan se fred kichan, jorj grevs, hairi vaildan, bil rivz, charli bail aur doosare kaee mahan kalakar aur komediyan samane aaye.

ye usi vakt kee bat hai jab sidani menan trup ke sath kam kar raha tha aur use fred karno ne dekha aur char paund prati saptah ke vetan par rakh liya. choonki main sidani se char baras chhota tha, isalie main kisi bhi thiyetar ke kam ke lie n to badon men gina jata aur n hi chhoton men hi, lekin mainne apane landan ke dinon men kiye gaye kam se kuchh paise bacha kar rakhe the, aur jis vakt sidani pradeshon men kam karata ghoom raha tha, main landan men hi raha aur pool ke khel khelata raha.

Å'Å'Å'Å'

chh:

main kishoravastha kee mushkil aur anakarshak umr ke daur men aa pahuncha tha aur us umr ke sanvedanashil utar-chadhavon se joojh raha tha. main buddhoopane aur atinatakeeyata ka pujari tha, svapnajivi bhi aur udas bhi. main zindagi se khafa bhi rahata tha aur use pyar bhi karata tha. mera dimag avikasit kosh kee tarah tha fir bhi usamen achanak paripakvata ke sote se foot rahe the. chehare bigadate darpanon kee is bhool bhulaiyan men main idhar udhar dolata aur meri mahattvakankshaen rah-rah kar foot padati thin. kala shabd kabhi bhi mere bheje men ya meri shabd sampada men nahin ghusa. thiyetar mere lie rozi-roti ka sadhan tha, isase jyada kuchh nahin.

is chakkar aur bhram ke aalam men main akela hi rahata aaya. is avadhi ke dauran meri zindagi men randiyon, besharm auraton aur bich-bich men ekadh bar sharabakhori ke mauke aate aur jate rahe. lekin sura, sundari aur n hi gana bajana der tak mere bhitar dilachaspi jagaye rakh paye. main sachamuch romans aur romanch chahata tha.

main edavardakalin kapadon men gadabade bachche, tedi boy ke manovaigyanik nazariye ko achchhi tarah se samajh sakata hoon. ham sab kee tarah vah bhi dhyan chahata hai, apani zindagi men romans aur drama chahata hai. tab kyon n pradarshan kee bhavana ke pal aur kharamasti kee kamana usake man men aaye jis tarah se pablik skool ka ladaka apani aavaragardi aur udandata ke sath is kamana ka pradarshan karata hai. kya yah prakritik aur svabhavik nahin hai ki jab vah apane varg aur tathakathit behatar vargon ko apani akadafoon dikhate hue dekhata hai to usake man men bhi yahi kuchh karane kee lalak jagati hai.

vah janata hai ki mashin usake man kee bat manati hai aur kisi bhi varg kee bat manati hai. ki usake giyar badalane ya batan dabane ke lie kisi khas manasikata kee zaroorat nahin padati. apani asanvedashil umr men vah kisi navab, abhijaty ya vidvan kee tarah bhayavah nahin hai. usakee ungali kisi nepoliyan sena kee tarah itani takatavar nahin hai ki kisi shahar ko nestanabood kar dale. kya tedi boy aparadhi shasak varg kee rakh men se janm leta finiks nahin hai! usaka vyavahar shayad achetan kee is bhavana se prerit hai ki aadami sirf ardh palatoo janavar hota hai jo pidhi dar pidhi doosaron par dhokhebaji, kroorata aur hinsa ke jariye hi raj karata raha hai. lekin jaisa ki barnard sho ne kaha hai,"main aadami ko vaise hi bhatakata hoon jis tarah se takalifen hamesha bhatakati hain."

aur aakhir mujhe ek rangarang vyaktichitra, kesai'j sarkas men kam mil hi gaya. mujhe dik tarpin, haive main aur do vailford bodi par prahasan karana tha. mujhe safalata ka poora ilaham tha kyonki ye sirf nichale darje kee komedi ke alava bhi bahut kuchh tha. ye ek profesaranuma, vidvan, vyakti ka charitra-chitran tha aur mainne khushi-khushi man hi man tay kiya ki main unhen jas ka tas pesh karoonga. main kampani men sabakee aankhon ka tara tha. hafte men tin paund kamata tha. isamen bachchon ka ek trup shamil tha jo ek sadak drishy men badon kee nakal utarata tha. mujhe laga, ye bahut hi vahiyat kism ka sho tha lekin isane mujhe ek komediyan ke roop men khud ko vikasit karane ko mauka diya. jab kaisi'j sarkas ne landan men pradarshan kiye to ham chh: log misej fildas ke sath keningatan rod par rahe. ve painsath baras kee ek boodhi vidhava mahila thin jinakee tin betiyan thin. frederika, thelma, aur fobe. frederika kee ek roosi kebinet mekar ke sath shadi ho rakhi thi jo vaise to sharif aadami tha lekin nihayat hi badasoorat tha. usaka chauda-sa tatar chehara tha, lal bal the, lal hi moonchhen aur aankh men usakee bhengapan tha. ham chh: ke chh: jan rasoee men khana khaya karate. ham parivar ko bahut achchhi tarah se janane lag gaye the. sidani jab bhi landan men kam kar raha hota, vahin thaharata.

jab mainne antat: kaisi'z sarkas chhoda to main keningatan rod lauta aur filds parivar ke pas hi rahata raha. boodhi mahila bhali, dhairyavan aur mehanatakash thin aur unakee kamaee ka zariya kamaron se aane vala kiraya hi tha. frederika, yani shadishuda ladakee ka kharcha pani usaka pati deta tha. thelma aur fobe ghar ke kam-kaj men hath bantatin. fobe kee umr pandrah baras kee thi aur vah khoobasoorat thi. usakee kad kathi lambotari aur chidiyanuma tedhi thi aur vah sharirik tatha bhavanat‍mak roop se mujh par buri tarah se aasakt thi. main doosari vali ke prati apani bhavanaon ko rokata kyonki main abhi satrah baras ka bhi nahin huaa tha aur ladakiyon ke mamale men meri niyat danvadol hi rahati thi. lekin vah to sadhavi prakriti kee thi aur hamare bich kuchh bhi huaa nahin. alabatta, vah meri divani hoti chali gayi aur bad men chal kar ham donon bahut achchhe dost ban gaye.

filds parivar bahut hi adhik sanvedanashil tha aur kaee bar aapas men ve log ek-doosare se pyar bhari jhadapon men ulajh jate. is too too main main ka karan aksar yahi hota ki ghar ka kam karane kee bari kisakee hai. thelma, jo lagabhag bis baras kee thi, ghar kee malakin hone ka danbh bharati thi. vah aalasi thi aur vah hamesha yahi dava karati ki kam karane kee bari frederika ya fobe kee hai. yah mamooli-si bat too too main main se badh kar hathapaee tak ja pahunchati. tab gade murade ukhade jate aur poore parivar kee bakhiya hi udhedi jati. aur us par turra ye ki ye sabakee aankhon ke samane hi hota. misej fildas tab rahasyodghatan karatin ki choonki thelma ghar se bhag chukee hai aur livarapool men ek yuva vakeel ke sath rah chukee hai at: vah apane aapako yahi man kar chalati hai ki vahi ghar kee sarvesarva honi chahiye aur ye bat usakee haisiyat se niche kee hai ki vah ghar ka kamakaj kare. misej fildas tab apana aakhiri hathiyar chhodati huee kahatin,"thik hai, agar tum apane aapako is tarah kee aurat manati ho to yahan se dafa ho jao aur ja ke raho apane usi livarapool vale vakeel ke pas, bas dekh lena agar vo tumhen apane ghar men ghusane de to." aur drishy ko antim parinnati par pahunchane ke lie misej fildas chay kee ketali utha kar jamin par de maratin. is dauran thelma mej par maharani kee tarah baithi rahati aur zara bhi vichalit n hoti. tab vah aaram se uthati, ek kap uthati aur, aur use haule se yah kahate hue thik vaise hi zamin par tapaka deti,"mujhe bhi tav aa sakata hai." isake bad vah ek aur kap utha kar jamin par girati, ek aur kap, fir ek aur kap .. . vah tab tak kap gira-gira kar todati rahati jab tak sara farsh krokari kee kirachon se bhar n jata,"main bhi sin kriet kar sakati hoon." is poore nazare ke dauran man aur usakee bahanen asahay-si baithi dekhati rahatin,"jara dekho to, dekho to zara, kya kar dala hai isane?" man ghighiyati.

"ye dekh, ye dekh, yahan kuchh aur bhi hai jo too tod sakati hai," aur ve thelma ke hath men chini dani thama detin. aur thelma aaram se chini dani pakad leti aur use bhi jamin par gira deti.

aise maukon par fobe kee bich-bachav karane vali kee bhoomika hoti. vah nishpaksh thi, eemanadar thi aur poora parivar usakee izazat karata tha. aur aksar yahi hota ki jhagada tanta nipatane ke lie vah khud hi kam karane ke lie taiyar ho jati. thelma use aisa n karane deti.

mujhe lagabhag tin mahine hone ko aaye the ki mere pas koee kam nahin tha aur sidani hi mera kharcha-pani juta raha tha. vahi mere rahane-khane ke lie misej fildas ko har hafte ke chaudah shiling de raha tha. vah ab fred karno kee kampani ke sath mukhy hasy kalakar kee bhoomika nibha raha tha aur aksar fred ke sath apane hunaramand chhote bhaee kee bat chhed deta. lekin karno usakee baton par kan hi nahin dharate the. unaka manana tha ki main bahut chhota hoon.

us samay landan men yahoodi kamediyanon kee dhoom thi. isalie mainne socha ki main bhi moonchhen laga kar apani kam umr chhupa loonga. sidani ne mujhe do panud diye jinase main gane-bajane ka sajo-saman kharid laya aur latifon kee ek amarikee kitab maidisan bajat men se dher-sare mazakiya sanvad mar liye. main hafton tak praiktis karata raha. fildas parivar ke samane pradarshan karata raha. ve dhyan se mera kam dekhate aur mera utsah bhi badhate lekin isase jyada kuchh nahin.

mainne forestar myujik hol men bina ek bhi dhela diye ek trayal hafte ka jugad kar liya tha. ye ek chhota-sa thiyetar tha jo yahoodi chauk par bichon-bich mail end rod se pichhe kee taraf bana huaa tha. main vahan pahale bhi kaisi'j sarkas ke sath abhinay kar chuka tha aur mainejament ne yah socha ki main is layak to hooonga hi sahi ki mujhe ek mauka diya jaye. meri bhavi ummiden aur mere sapane isi trayal par tike hue the. forestar ke yahan pradarshan karane ke bad main ingalaind ke sabhi pramukh sarkiton men pradarshan karata. kaun janata hai, ho sakata hai main ek baras ke bhitar hi rangarang karyakramon ke sho ka sabase bada aur akhabaron kee haid lainon par chha jane vala kalakar ban jaoon. mainne poore fildas parivar ke sath vada kiya tha ki main unhen hafte ke aakhiri dinon ke tikat dilava doonga. tab tak main apani bhoomika ke sath bhi achchhi tarah se nyay kar paoonga.

"mera khyal hai ki aap apani safalata ke bad ham logon ke sath nahin rahana chahenge?" fobe ne poochha tha.

"beshak, main yahin rahata rahoonga."

somavar kee subah barah baje baind riharsal aur sanvad adayagi aadi kee riharsal thi jise mainne vyavasayik tarike se nipataya. lekin mainne ab tak apane mek ap kee taraf paryapt dhyan nahin diya tha. rat ke sho se pahale main ghanton tak dresing room men baitha matha-pachchi karata raha, naye-naye prayog karata raha, lekin main bhale hi kitane bhi lanbe reshami bal kyon n lagaoon, main apani javani chhupa nahin pa raha tha. halanki is bare men main bhola tha lekin meri komedi bahut adhik yahoodi virodhi thi aur mere latife pite-pitaye the aur vahiyat the. balki mere yahoodi uchcharan kee tarah ghatiya bhi the. aur us par turra yah ki main bilkul bhi mazakiya nahin lag raha tha.

pahale do ek latifon par hi janata ne sikke aur santare ke chhilake fenkane aur jamin par dhamadham pair patakane shuroo kar diye. pahale to main samajh hi nahin paya ki aakhir ye ho kya raha hai! tabhi is sab ka aatank mere sir par chadh gaya. mainne fatafat rel kee gati se bolana shuroo kar diya. hulladabaji aur santaron tatha sikkon kee barasat badhati ja rahi thi. jab main stej se niche utara, to main mainejament ka faisala sunane ke lie bhi nahin ruka, main sidhe hi dresing room men gaya, apana mek-ap utara, thiyetar se bahar nikala aur fir kabhi vahan vapis nahin gaya. yahan tak ki main vahan apani sangit kee kitaben uthane bhi nahin gaya.

rat ko bahut der ho chukee thi jab main vapis keningatan rod pahuncha. fildas parivar sone ja chuka tha aur main isake lie unaka ahasanamand hi tha ki ve so chuke the. subah nashte ke vakt misej fildas is bare men janane ko chintit thin ki sho kaisa raha. mainne udasinata dikhayi aur kaha,"vaise to thik raha lekin usamen kuchh her-fer karane kee zaroorat padegi." unhonne bataya ki fobe natak dekhane gayi thi lekin usane vapis aa kar kuchh bataya nahin kyonki vah bahut thakee huee thi aur sidhe hi sone chali gayi thi. jab mainne bad men fobe ko dekha to usane isaka koee zikr nahin kiya. mainne bhi koee zikr nahin kiya aur n hi misej fildas ne ya kisi aur ne kabhi bhi isaka koee zikr hi kiya aur n hi is bat par hairani hi vyakt kee ki main use saptah tak jari kyon nahin rakh raha hoon.

bhagavan ka shukr hai ki un dinon sidani doosare pradeshon kee taraf gaya huaa tha aur main use batane kee is zahamat se bach gaya ki aakhir huaa kya tha. lekin zaroor usane andaja laga liya hoga ya ho sakata hai fildas parivar ne use bata diya ho kyonki usane mujhase kabhi bhi is bare men koee poochhatachh nahin kee. mainne us rat ke du:svapn ko apani smriti se dho-ponchh dene kee poori koshish kee lekin usane mere aatm-vishvas par ek n mitane vala dhabba chhod diya tha. us bhutaile anubhav ne mujhe yah path padhaya ki main khud ko sachchi raushani men dekhoon.

mainne mahasoos kar liya tha ki main rangarang hasy kalakar nahin hoon. mere bhitar vah aatmiy, nazadik aane kee kala nahin thi jo aapako darshakon ke nikat le jati hai. aur mainne apane aapako yahi tasalli de li ki main charitr pradhan hasy kalakar hoon. alabatta, vyavasayik roop se apane pairon par khade hone se pahale mujhe do ek aur nirashaon ka samana karana pada.

satrah baras kee umr men mainne da' meri mejar nam ke ek natak men kishor yuvak ke roop men mukhy patr ka abhinay kiya. ye ek sasta, hatotsahit karane vala natak tha jo sirf ek hafte chala. mukhy nayika, jo meri bivi bani thi, pachas baras kee aurat thi. har rat jab vah manch par aati to usake munh se jin kee boo aa rahi hoti, aur mujhe usake pati kee bhoomika men, utsah se labarej ho kar use apani bahon men lena padata, use choomana padata. is anubhav ne mera is bat se man hi khatta kar diya ki main kabhi mukhy kalakar banoon.

isake bad mainne lekhan par hath aajamaye. mainne ek komedi skaich likha jisaka nam tha tvailv jast main. ye ek halke fulke prahasan vala mamala tha ki kis tarah joori vachan bhang ke ek mamale men bahas karati hai. joori ke sadasyon men se ek goonga- bahara tha, ek sharabi tha aur ek any nim-hakeem tha. mainne ye aaidiya charakot ko bech diya. ye rangarang manch ka ek hipnotist tha jo kisi hansod aadami ko hipnotaiz karata aur use aankhon par patti bandh kar shahar kee galiyon men gadi chalane ke lie prerit karata jabaki vah khud pichhe baith kar us par chumbakeey prabhav chhodata rahata. usane mujhe pandulipi ke lie tin paund diye lekin ye shart bhi jod di ki main hi usaka nirdeshan bhi karoonga. hamane abhinetaon aadi ka chayan kiya aur keningatan rod par hornas pablik haus klab room men riharsal shuroo kar di. ek khar khaye ektar ne kah diya ki ye skaich n keval anapadhon vala hai balki moorkhatapoorn bhi hai.

tisare din jab riharsal chal rahi thi, mujhe charakot se ek not mila ki usane is skaich ka nirman n karane ka faisala kar liya hai.

ab main choonki janbaj taip ka nahin tha, mainne not apani jeb ke havale kiya aur riharsal jari rakhi. mujhamen itani himmat nahin thi ki unhen riharsal karane se rok sakoon. isake bajaye, main lanch ke samay sabako apane kamare par liva laya aur unase kaha ki mera bhaee unase bat karana chahata hai. main sidani ko bedaroom men le gaya aur use not dikhaya. not padhane ke bad sidani ne kaha,"thik hai. tumane unhen is bare men bata diya hai na!"

"nahin," main fusafusaya.

"to ja kar bata do."

"main nahin bata sakata. bilakul bhi nahin. ve log tin din tak falatoo fand men riharsal karate rahe hain."

"lekin isamen tumhara kya dosh?" sidani ne kaha.

"jao aur unhen bata do," vah chillaya.

main himmat har baitha aur rone laga,"kya kahoon main unase?"

"moorakh mat bano," vah utha aur sath vale kamare men aaya aur un sabako charakot ka not dikhaya aur samajhaya ki kya ho gaya hai. tab vah sabako nukkad ke pab tak le gaya aur sabako saindavich aur ek-ek drink dilavaye.

abhineta ekadam mauji aadami hote hain. kab kya kar baithen, kaha nahin ja sakata. vah aadami jo itana jyada bhunabhuna raha tha, ekadam darshanik ho gaya aur jab use sidani ne bataya ki main kis buri halat men tha to vah hansa aur meri pith par dhaul jamate hue bola,"isamen tumhara koee dosh nahin hai puttar, ye sab to us harami charakot ka kiya dhara hai."

forestars men apani asafalata ke bad mainne jis kam men bhi hath dala, usi men main dharashayi huaa aur mujhe ek bar fir asafalata ka munh dekhana pada. alabatta, aashavadi bane rahana javani ka sabase bada gun hota hai, kyonki isi javani men aadami svabhavat: yah man kar chalata hai ki pratikool paristhitiyan bhi alpakalik hi hoti hain aur badakismati ka lagatar daur bhi sahi hone ke sidhe aur sankare raste kee tarah sandigdh hota hai. donon hi nishchit hi samay ke sath-sath badalate hain.
meri kismat ne palata khaya. ek din sidani ne bataya ki mistar karno mujhase milana chahate hain. aisa laga ki ve apane kisi kamediyan se nakhush the jo futabal natak men mistar hairi veldan ke sath bhoomika kar raha tha. ye skaich karno sahab ka atyant safal natak tha. veldan atyant lokapriy hasy kalakar the jo tisare dashak men apani mrityu tak usi tarah se lokapriy bane rahe.

mistar karno thode mote, tanbaee rang ke aadami the. unakee aankhon men chamak thi aur jinamen hamesha napane jokhane ke bhav hote. unhonne kabhi apana kairiyar aade dandon par kam karane vale ekrobait ke roop men shuroo kiya tha aur isake bad unhonne apane sath tin dhamakedar kamediyanon kee chaukadi banayi. ye chaukadi mookabhinay skechon ka kendr thi. ve khud bahut hi utkrisht hasy abhineta the aur unhonne kaee komedi bhoomikaon kee shuruaat kee thi. ve us vakt tak bhi hasy bhoomikaen karate rahe jab unakee doosari panch-panch kampaniyan ek sath chal rahi thin.

unake mool sadasyon men se ek unakee seva nivritti ka mazedar kissa yoon bataya karata tha: ek rat manachestar men pradarshan ke bad, mandali ne shikayat kee ki karno kee taiming gadabadayi thi aur unhonne sare latifon ke maze par pani fer diya. karno, jinhonne tab tak apane panch pradarshanon se 50,000 paund juta liye the, kaha,"thik hai mere dosto, agar aap logon ko aisa lagata hai to yahi sahi. main chhod deta hoon." aur tab apani vig utarate hue unhonne use dresing tebal par pataka aur hansate hue bole,"ise aap log mera istifa samajh lo."

mistar karno ka ghar kold harabar len, kaimbaravail men tha aur isase sata huaa ek godam tha jisamen ve apani bis prastutiyon ke lie sin sinari rakha karate the. unaka apana aofis bhi vahin par tha. jab main vahan pahuncha to ve bahut pyar se mile, "sidani mujhe batata raha hai ki tum kitane achchhe ho," unhonne kaha,"kya tumhen lagata hai ki tum da' futabal maich men hairi veldan ke samane abhinay kar paoge?"

heri veldan ko khas taur par bahut oonchi pagar par rakha gaya tha. unakee pagar chauntis paund prati saptah thi.

"mujhe sirf mauka chahiye," mainne aatmavishvas poorn tarike se kaha.

ve muskuraye,"satrah baras kee umr bahut kam hoti hai aur tum to aur bhi chhote lagate ho!"

main yoon hi kandhe uchakaye,"ye sab mek ap se kiya ja sakata hai."

karno hanse. is kandhe uchakane ne hi mujhe kam dilavaya tha, bad men sidani ne mujhe bataya tha.

"thik hai, thik hai, ham dekh lenge ki tum kya kar sakate ho."

ye kam mujhe tin saptah tak trayal ke roop men karana tha jisake evaj men mujhe prati saptah tin paund aur das shiling milate aur agar main santoshajanak paya jata to mujhe ek baras ke lie karar par rakh liya jata.

landan kolesiyam men pradarshan shuroo hone se pahale mere pas apani bhoomika ka adhyayan karane ke lie ek saptah ka samay tha. karno sahab ne mujhe bataya ki main ja kar shefard bush empayar men da' futabal maich dekhoon aur us aadami ka adhyayan karoon jisakee bhoomika mujhe karani hai. mujhe ye manane men koee shak nahin ki vah sust aur aatm sajag tha aur ye kahane men bhi koee jhoothi shekhi nahin hai ki main janata tha ki main usase aage nikal jaoonga. bhoomika men thode aur kairikechar, aur jyada svang kee zaroorat thi. main apana man bana chuka tha ki main use thik vaise hi pesh karoonga.

mujhe matr do hi riharsalen di gayin, kyonki isase jyada ke lie mistar veldan upalabdh nahin the. daraasal ve is bat ke lie bhi khafa the ki unhen apana golf ka khel chhod kar sirf isi ke lie aana pada.

riharsalon ke dauran main prabhav n jama saka. choonki main dhime padhata tha at: mujhe aisa laga ki veldan sahab meri kshamata ke bare men kuchh sandeh karate the. sidani bhi choonki yahi bhoomika ada kar chuka tha, agar vah landan men hota to zaroor meri madad karata, lekin vah to doosare hasy natak men any pradeshon men kam kar raha tha.

halanki da' futabal maich svang vala mamala tha, fir bhi jab tak mistar veldan sahab samane n aa jate, kahin se bhi hansi kee aavaz nahin footati thi. sab kuchh unakee entri ke sath hi juda huaa tha. aur isamen koee shak nahin ki ve bahut hi shanadar kism ke hasy kalakar the aur unake aane se hansi ka jo silasila shuroo hota tha, vah aakhir tak thamata nahin tha.

kolisiyam men apane natak kee shuruaat kee rat meri nasen rassi kee tarah tani huee thin. us rat ka matalab fir se mere khoye hue aatm vishvas ko vapis pana aur forestar men us rat jo kuchh huaa tha, usake du:svapn se khud ko mukt karana tha. us vishalakay stej par main aage-pichhe ho raha tha. mere dar ke oopar chinta kundali mare baithi thi aur main apane lie prarthana kar raha tha.

tabhi sangit baja. parda utha. stej par eksarasaiz karate kalakaron ka ek koras chal raha tha. aakhirakar ve chale gaye aur stej khali ho gaya. ye mere lie sanket tha. bhavanatmak ha ha kar ke bich main chala. ya to main mauke ke anuroop khara utaroonga ya fir munh ke bal giroonga. stej par pair rakhate hi main rahat mahasoos karane laga. sab kuchh mere samane saf tha. darshakon kee taraf pith karake mainne manch par pravesh kiya tha. ye mera khud ka aaidiya tha. pichhe kee taraf se main tip top lag raha tha. frok kot pahane hue, top hait, hath men chhadi aur moje. hoo b hoo edavardakalin vilen. tab main muda. aur apani lal nak dikhalayi. hansi ka favvara. isase main darshakon ka kripapatr ban gaya. mainne uttejanapoorn tarike se kandhe uchakaye, apani ungaliyan chatakayin aur stej par idhar udhar chala. ek mugadar par thokar khayi. isake bad meri chhadi sidhe ja kar panching baig ke sath atak gayi aur vah uchhal kar vapis mere munh par aa laga. main akad kar chala aur ghooma, apane hi sir kee taraf bar bar chhadi se var karata. darshak hansi ke mare dohare ho gaye.

ab main poori tarah se sahaj tha aur nayi nayi baten mere dimag men ghoom rahi thin. main stej ko panch minat tak bhi bandhe rakh sakata tha aur ek shabd bhi bole bina unhen lagatar hansa sakata tha. apani vilenamuma chal ke bich meri paint niche sarakane lagi. mera ek batan toot gaya tha. main batan kee talash karane laga. mainne yoon hi kuchh uthane ka natak sa kiya aur hikarat se pare fenk diya,"ye karamajale kharagosh!!!" ek aur thahaka.

hairi veldan ka chehara poore chand kee tarah vings men nazar aane laga tha. unake manch par aane se pahale kabhi bhi thahake nahin lage the.

jyon hi unhonne stej par apani entri li mainne lapak kar dramaee andaj men unakee banh tham li aur fusafusaya,"jaldi keejiye, meri paint khisakee ja rahi hai. ek pin ka saval hai." ye sab usi vakt ke soch hue ka kamal tha aur isake lie koee riharsal nahin kee gayi thi. mainne hairi sahab ke lie darshakon ko pahale hi taiyar kar diya tha. us sham unhen jo safalata mili, vah aashatit thi aur ham donon ne mil kar darshakon se kaee atirikt thahake lagavaye. jab parda niche aaya to mujhe pata tha, main kila fatah kar chuka hoon. mandali ke kaee sadasyon ne hath milaye aur mujhe badhaee di. dresing room kee taraf jate samay vaildan sahab ne apane pichhe mud kar dekha aur shushk svar men bole,"achchha raha. bahut badhiya raha."

us rat main apane ghar tak paidal chal kar gaya taki apane aapako khali kar sakoon. main ruka aur vestaminstar brij par jhuka, aur usake niche se bahate gahare, reshami pani ko dekhata raha. main khushi ke mare rona chahata tha. lekin main ro nahin paya. main zor lagata raha, mudraen banata raha, lekin meri aankhon men koee aansoo nahin aaye. main khali ho chuka tha. vestaminstar brij se main chal kar elifaint end kaisal taÃŽb steshan tak gaya aur ek kap kofi ke lie ek stal par ruk gaya. main kisi se bat karana chahata tha, lekin sidani to bahar ke pradeshon men tha. kash, vah yahan hota to main use aaj kee rat ke bare men bata pata! aaj kee rat mere liye kya mayane rakhati thi! khas taur par forestrar kee rat ke bad.

main so nahin paya. elifaint end kaisal se main keningatan get tak gaya aur vahan ek aur kap chay pi. raste men main apane aap se batiyata raha aur akele hansata raha. bistar par jane ke samay subah ke panch baje the aur main buri tarah se past ho chuka tha.

pahali rat mistar karno vahan par maujood nahin the. lekin ve tisari rat ko aaye. us mauke par meri entri ke vakt jam kar taliyan milin. ve bad men vahan aaye. unake chehare par muskurahat thi aur unhonne mujhase kaha ki main savere unake aofis men aa kar karar kar loon.

mainne pahali rat ke bare men sidani ko nahin likha tha, lekin ab mainne use ek sankshipt tar bheja,"mainne ek baras ke lie char paund prati saptah par karar kar liya hai, pyar, charli."

da' futabal maich landan men chaudah saptah tak raha aur usake bad daure par chala gaya.

veldan sahab kee komedi vikalang taip kee thi. ve dhimi gati ke samacharon kee tarah lankashayar vale lahaje men gadabad bhasha bolate the. ye ada uttari ingalaind men bahut badhiya tarike se chal jati thi lekin dakshin men unhen bahut adhik bhav nahin diya gaya. bristol, kardif, playamauth, sauthampatan, jaise shahar veldan ke lie mande gaye. in saptahon men ve chidachide hote chale gaye aur unaka pradarshan nam matr ka raha to ve apana gussa mujh par utarate rahe. sho men unhen mujhe thappad marana aur dhakiyana tha aur ye sab kafi bar karana tha. ise jhapakee lena kaha jata tha. isaka matalab yah hota tha ki ve mere chehare par marenge lekin ise vastavik prabhav dene ke lie vings men koee zor se hathon se tali bajayega. kaee bar ve mujhe sachamuch mar baithate, aur vah bhi bina zaroorat ke aur zor se. mujhe lagata hai ki ve eershya se bhar kar hi aisa karate the.

belafest men to sthiti aur kharab ho gayi. samikshakon ne unakee aisi-taisi kar di thi lekin meri bhoomika kee tarif kee thi. ise bhala veldan sahab kaise sahan kar sakate the. so, ek rat unhonne stej par hi apana gussa nikala aur mujhe aisa zor ka thappad mara ki meri sari komedi nikal kar dhar di. meri nak se khoon aane laga. bad men mainne unhen bataya ki agar unhonne fir kabhi aisa kiya to manch par hi mugadar se unakee dhunayi kar doonga. aur us par yah bhi jod diya ki agar unhen eershya ho rahi hai to use kam se kam mujh par to n nikalen.

"eershya aur vo bhi tumase?" ve dresing room kee taraf jate hue bole,"kyon re, meri guda men hi itana tailent hai jitana tumhare poore sharir men bhi nahin hoga."

"yahi vo jagah hai jahan aapaka telent rahata hai." main gurraya aur lapak kar dresing room ka daravaja band kar diya.

sidani jab shahar men vapis aaya to hamane tay kiya ki brikstan rod par ek flait le len aur use chalis paund tak kee rashi kharch karake use sajaen. ham nevingatan bats men purane farnichar kee ek dukan men gaye aur malik ko bataya ki ham kitani rashi kharch karane ka madda rakhate hain aur ki hamare pas sajaye jane ke lie char kamare hain. malik ne hamari samasya men vyaktigat roop se dilachaspi li aur hamare kam kee chizen chunane men ghanton hamare sath khapaye. hamare pahale vale kamare men kalin bichhaya aur bakee tin kamaron men linoliyam. isake alava ham astar chadha huaa saman bhi laye. isamen ek divan aur do aaram kursiyan thin. baithane ke kamare ke ek kone men hamane ek nakkashidar moorish parada rakha jisake pichhe se pila balb jalata tha aur usake samane vale kone men mulamma chadhi eezal par sone ka pani chadhe frem men hamane ek pestal sajaya. yah tasvir ek nirvastr aurat kee thi jo ek pedastal par khadi thi aur apane kandhe ke pichhe se dadhi vale chitrakar kee taraf dekh rahi thi jo usake nitamb ke pas ek makkhi ko chitrit karane kee koshish kar raha tha. yah kalakriti aur parada, mere hisab se kamare ko bhara poora bana rahe the. asali pradarshan yogy chiz to ek moorish sigaret shop aur ek french randikhane ka joda the lekin hamen ye achchhe lagate the. yahan tak ki ham ek sidha khada piyano bhi lete aaye. aur halanki hamane apane bajat se pandrah paund jyada kharch kar dale the, fir bhi hamen isakee poori keemat mil gayi thi. 15 glenasho mainsan, brikstan rod par hamara ye ghar hamare sapanon ka svarg tha. pradeshon men pradarshan karane ke bad ham yahan lautane ka kitani besabri se intajar kiya karate the. ab ham itane amir ho chale the ki apane nana kee bhi madad kar sakate the aur unhen das shiling prati saptah diya karate the. aur hamari haisiyat itani achchhi ho gayi thi ki hafte men do din ghar ka kam karane vali naukarani aati thi aur flait men jhadoo ponchha kar jati thi. lekin is safaee kee zaroorat shayad hi kabhi padati ho kyonki ham kisi chiz ko usakee jagah se hilate bhi nahin the. ham usamen is tarah se raha karate the mano ye koee pavitr mandir ho. sidani aur main apani vishalakay aaram kursiyon men pasare rahate aur param santushti ka ahasas lete. ham ek ooncha sa pital ka moodha lete aaye the jis par lal rang ka chamada madha huaa tha. main aaram kursi se uth kar moodhe par chala jata aur donon par milane vale aaram kee tulana karata rahata.

solah baras kee umr men romans ke bare men mere khyalon ko prerana di thi ek thiyetar ke postar ne jisamen khadi chattan par khadi ek ladakee ke bal hava men ude ja rahe the. main kalpana karata ki main usake sath golf khel raha hoon, ek aisa khel jisen main napasand karata hoon, aur os bhari jamin par niche kee or chalate hue, dil kee dhakadan badhane vali bhavanaon men doobe hue, svasthy aur prakriti ke khyalon men doobe hue usake sath sath chal raha hoon.

yahi mere lie romans tha. lekin kam umr ka pyar to kuchh aur hi hota hai. ye aam taur par ek jaise dharre par chalata hai. ek nazar milane par, shuruaat men kuchh shabdon ka aadan pradan (aam taur par gadahapachisi ke shabd), kuchh hi minaton ke bhitar poori jindagi ka nazariya hi badal jata hai. poori kayanat hamare sath sahanubhooti men khadi ho jati hai aur achanak hamare samane chhupi huee khushiyon ka khazana khol deti hai. aur mere sath bhi thik aisa hi ho guzara tha.

main unnis baras ka hone ko aaya tha aur karno kampani ka safal kamediyan tha. lekin kuchh tha jisakee anupasthiti khatak rahi thi. vasant aa kar ja chuka tha aur garmiyan apane poore khalipan ke sath mujh par havi thin. meri dinacharya basipan liye hue thi aur mera parivesh shushk. main apane bhavishy men kuchh bhi nahin dekh pata tha, vahan sirf anamanapan, sab kuchh udasinata liye hue aur charon taraf aadami hi aadami. sirf pet bharane kee khatir kam dhandhe se jude rahana hi kafi nahin lag raha tha. zindagi naukar sarikhi ho rahi thi aur usamen kisi kism kee bandh lene vali bat nahin thi. main tanha hota chala gaya, apane aap se asantusht? main ravivaron ko akela bhatakata ghoomata rahata, parkon men baj rahe baindon ko sun ka dil bahalata. n to main apani khud kee kampani jhel pata tha aur n hi kisi aur kee hi. aur tabhi ek khas bat ho gayi - mujhe pyar ho gaya.

ham stritham empayar men pradarshan kar rahe the. un dinon ham roz rat ko do ya tin myoozik holon men pradarshan kiya karate the. ek praivet bas men ek jagah se doosari jagah jate. stritham men ham jara jaldi shuroo kar dete taki usake bad kaintarabari myoozik hol aur usake bhi bad, tivoli men pradarshan kar saken. abhi sanjh bhi nahin dhali thi ki hamane apana kam shuroo kar diya. garmi baradasht se bahar ho rahi thi aur stritham hol aadhe se jyada khali tha. aur sanyog se ye bat mujhe udas aur tanha hone se vimukh nahin kar sakee.

bart kauts yainkee doodale garls nam kee git aur nrity kee ek mandali ka pradarshan hamase pahale hota tha. mujhe unake bare men koee khas khabar nahin thi. lekin doosari sham, jab main vings men udas aur vitaragi khada huaa tha, unamen se ek ladakee nrity ke dauran fisal gayi aur doosare log hi hi karake hansane lage. us ladakee ne achanak nazaren uthayin aur mujhase aankhe milayin ki kya main bhi is mazak ka maza le raha hoon. mujhe achanak do badi-badi bhoori shararat se chamakati aankhon ne jaise bandh liya. ye aankhen ek dubale hirani jaise, sanche men dhale chehare par tangi huee thin aur bandh lene vala usaka bhara poora chehara, khoobasoorat dant, ye sab dekhane ka asar bijali jaisa tha. jab vah stej se vapis aayi to usane mujhase kaha ki main usaka chhota-sa darpan to thamoon taki vah apane bal thik kar le. isase mujhe use dekhane parakhane ka ek mauka mil gaya.

ye shuruaat thi. budhavar tak main itana aage badh chuka tha ki usase poochh baitha ki kya main usase ravivar ko mil sakata hoon. vah hansi,"main to tumhen janati tak nahin ki bina is lal nak ke tum lagate kaise ho." un dinon main maming bards men sharabi ke rol vali komedi kar raha tha aur lamba kot aur safed taee pahane rahata tha.

"meri nak itani jyada to lal nahin hai aur fir main utana gaya gujara bhi nahin hoon jitana nazar aata hoon." mainne kaha, "aur is bat ko siddh karane ke lie main kal rat apani ek tasvir leta aaoonga."

mera khyal hai mainne usake samane ek gidagidate, udas aur nausikhue kishor ko pesh kiya tha jo kali stok tai pahane huaa tha.

"oh, lekin tum to bahut javan ho," usane kaha,"mujhe to laga ki tumhari umr bahut jyada hogi."

"tumhen kitani lagati hai meri umr?"

"kam se kam tisa"

main muskuraya,"main unnis poore karane ja raha hoon."

choonki ham log roz hi poorvabhyas kiya karate the isalie saptah ke dinon men usase mil pana mushkil hota tha. alabatta, usane vayada kiya ki vah ravivar kee dopahar thik char baje keningatan get par milegi.

ravivar ka din ekadam badhiya, garmi bhara tha aur soory lagatar chamak raha tha. mainne ek gahara soot pahana jo sine ke pas shanadar katav liye hue tha aur apane sath ek kali aabanoosi chhadi dulata chala. mainne kali stok tai bhi pahani huee thi. char bajane men das minat bakee the aur ghabarahat ke mare mera bura hal tha, main intazar kar raha tha aur yatriyon ko tramakaron se utarata dekh raha tha.

jab main intazar kar raha tha to mainne mahasoos kiya ki mainne haitti ko bina mek ap ke to dekha hi nahin tha. mujhe is bat kee bilkul bhi yad nahin aa rahi thi ki vah dekhane men kaisi lagati hai. main jitani jyada koshish karata, mujhe usaka chehara mohara yad hi n aata. mujhe halke se dar ne jakad liya. shayad usaka saundary nakali tha. ek bhram!! sadharan si dikhane vali jo bhi ladakee tramakar men se utarati, mujhe hatasha ke gart men dhakelati jati. kya nirasha hi mere hath lagegi? kya main apani hi kalpana ke dvara chhala gaya hoon ya thiyetari mek ap ke nakalipane ne mujhase chhal kiya hai?

char bajane men tin minat bakee the ki ek ladakee tramakar se utari aur usane meri taraf badhana shuroo kiya. mera dil doob gaya. usaka chehara mohara nirash karata tha. usake sath poori dopahari bitane ka khyal aur utsah banaye rakhane ka natak karana, meri to halat hi kharab ho gayi. isake bavajood mainne apana hait oopar kiya aur apane chehare par muskurahat laya. usane hikarat se meri taraf ghoora aur aage badh gayi. bhagavan ka shukr hai, ye vo nahin thi.

tab, char baj kar thik ek minat par tramakar men se ek navayuvati utari, aage badhi aur mere samane aa kar ruk gayi. is samay vah bina kisi mek ap ke thi aur pahale kee tulana men jyada sundar nazar aa rahi thi. usane sada selar hait, pital ke batanon vala nila vardi kot pahana huaa tha, aur usake hath ovarakot kee jebon men gahare dhanse hue the.

"lo main aa gayi" kaha usane.

usakee maujoodagi itani aalhadit karane vali thi ki main bat hi nahin kar pa raha tha. meri sans foolane lagi. main kuchh kahane ya karane kee soch hi nahin paya.

"chalo taiksi kar lete hain." main sadak par aage pichhe kee taraf dekhate hue aur fir usakee taraf mudate hue bhari aavaz men bola.

"tum kahan jana chahogi?"

"kahin bhi"

"to chalo, vest end men dinar ke lie chalate hain."

"main dinar le chukee hoon" usane thandepan se kaha.

"ye bat ham taiksi men tay kar lenge" mainne kaha.

meri bhavanaon ke ubal ke vajah se vah zaroor hi sakapaka gayi hogi, kyonki taiksi men jate hue main lagatar yahi kahata raha tha, "mujhe pata hai ki mujhe ek din isake lie afasos karana padega, tum itani jyada sundar ho." main bekar hi men us par prabhav jamane aur usaka dil bahalane kee koshish karata raha. mainne baink se tin paund nikale the aur socha tha ki trokadero restaran le kar jaoonga. vahan ke sangit aur shano shaukat ke mahaul men vah mujhe behad romantik roop men dekh payegi. main chahata tha ki mujhase mil kar usake pair tale kee zamin gayab ho jaye. lekin vah meri bak bak sun kar sooni aankhon se aur kuchh had tak hairan pareshan si dekhati rahi. khas kar ek bat jo main usase kahana chah raha tha ki vah meri pratishodh kee devi hai. ye shabd mainne naya naya sikha tha.

jo baten mere lie itane jyada mayane rakhati thin, unhen vah kitana kam samajh pa rahi thi. isaka seks se kuchh lena dena nahin tha: jo bat mayane rakhati thi, vah tha usaka sang sath. meri zidangi jis mod par rukee huee thi, vahan par lavany aur saundary se mil pana durlabh hi tha.

us sham trokadero men mainne use is bat ke lie raji karane kee bahut koshish kee ki vah mere sath dinar le le, lekin koee fayada nahin huaa. usane kaha ki mera sath dene ke lie vah saindavich le legi. choonki hamane ek bahut hi bhavy restaran men ek bahut badi mej gher rakhi thi, mujhe ye zaroori laga ki kaee tarah ke vyanjanon vale khane ka aordar diya jaye halanki mujhe is sab kee zaroorat nahin thi. dinar lena bahut gambhir mamala ho gaya. mujhe ye bhi nahin pata tha ki kis chhuri kante se kya khana hota hai. main khana khate samay sahaj aakarshan ke sath shekhiyan bagharata raha, yahan tak ki fingar baul ke istemal men bhi mainne laparavahi ka andaj apanaya. lekin mera khyal hai, restaran se bahar aate samay ham donon hi rahat mahasoos kar rahe the.

trokadero ke bad haitti ne tay kiya ki vah ghar jayegi. mainne taiksi ka sujhav diya lekin usane paidal chalana hi pasand kiya. choonki vah chaimbaralen men rahati thi, mere lie isase achchhi bat aur kya ho sakati thi. isaka matalab yahi hota ki main usake sath aur jyada vakt guzar sakata tha.

ab choonki meri bhavanaon ka jvar utarane laga tha, vah mujhase bhi jyada sahaj lag rahi thi. us sham ham tems embainkamenta§ par chahalakadami karate rahe. haitti apani saheliyon ke bare men baten karati rahi, hansi khushi kee aur idhar udhar kee bekar kee baten. lekin mujhe is bat ka zara sa bhi bhan nahin tha ki vah kya kah rahi hai. mujhe to sirf itana pata tha ki rat saundary se bhari thi, ki main svarg men chal raha tha aur mere bhitar aanand bhari uttejana ke sote foot rahe the.

use vida kar dene ke bad main fir se embainkament par lauta. main abhibhoot tha. mere bhitar ek madhyam lau ka ujala ho raha tha aur tivr ichchha shakti jor mar rahi thi. tin paund men se meri jeb men jitane bhi paise bache the, mainne tems embainkament par sone vale bhikhariyon men bant diye.

hamane agali subah sat baje fir se milane ka vayada kiya tha kyonki shaftesabari evenyoo men kahin aath baje usakee riharsal shuroo hoti thi. usake ghar se le kar vestaminstar brij rod andaragraund steshan tak kee doori lagabhag dedh mil kee thi aur halanki main der tak kam karata tha aur shayad hi kabhi rat do baje se pahale sota tha, main usase milane ke lie sahi vakt par hajir tha.

kaimbaravel ko kisi ne jaduee chhadi se chhoo liya tha kyonki haitti keli vahan par rahati thi. subah ke vakt chaimbaralen kee sadakon par hathon men hath diye andaragraund steshan tak jana bhramit ichchhaon ke sath ghule mile varadan kee tarah hota tha. gandi, hatasha se bharane vali chaimbaralen rod, jisase main hamesha bacha karata tha, ab pralobhan kee tarah lagati jab main door se kohare men se nikal kar haitti kee aakriti ko apani or aate dekh romanchit hota. us sath sath aane ke dauran mujhe bilkul bhi yad n rahata ki usane kya kaha hai. main sammohan ke aalam men hota aur ye man kar chalata ki koee rahasyamayi takat hamen ek dooje ke nikat layi hai aur bhagy men pahale se ye likha tha ki ham is tarah se milenge.

usase parichay paye mujhe tin subahen ho gayi thin; in sankshipt subahon ke karan bakee din ke astitv ka pata hi nahin chalata tha. agali subah hi pata chalata tha. lekin chauthi subah usaka vyavahar badala huaa tha. vah mujhase thandepan se mili. koee utsah nahin tha usamen. usane mera hath bhi nahin thama. mainne isake lie use fatakara aur mazak men us par aarop lagaya ki vah mujhase pyar nahin karati hai.

"tum kuchh jyada hi ummid karane lage ho," kaha usane "zara ye bhi to dekho ki main sirf pandrah baras kee hoon aur tum mujhase char baras bade ho."

main usake is jumale ke bhav ko samajh nahin paya. lekin main us doori kee bhi anadekhi nahin kar paya jo usane achanak hi ham donon ke bich rakh di thi. vah sidhe samane kee taraf dekh rahi thi aur garvonnat tarike se chal rahi thi. usakee chal skooli ladakee kee tarah thi aur usake donon hath ovarakot kee jebon men gahare dhanse hue the.

"doosare shabdon men kahen to tum sachamuch mujhase pyar nahin karati?"

"mujhe nahin pata," vah boli.

main hakka bakka rah gaya. "agar tum nahin janati to tum pyar nahin karati."

uttar dene ke lie vah chupachap chalati rahi.

"dekho to jara, main bhi devadoot hi hoon. mainne tumase kaha tha n ki mujhase tumase milane ka hamesha afasos hota rahega." mainne halkepan se kahana jari rakha.

mainne usaka dimag tatolane kee koshish kee ki aakhir usake dimag men chal kya raha tha aur mere sabhi savalon ke javab men vah sirf yahi kahati rahi, "mujhe nahin pata."

"mujhase shadi karogi?" mainne use chunauti di.

"main bahut chhoti hoon."

"achchha ek bat batao, agar tumhen shadi ke lie mazaboor kiya jaye vo vo main hooonga ya koee aur?"

lekin usane kisi bhi bat par han nahin kee aur yahi kahati rahi,"mujhe nahin pata, main tumhen pasand karati hoon . .lekin . ."

"lekin tum mujhase pyar nahin karati." mainne use bhari man se tokate hue kaha.

vah chup rahi. ye badalon bhari subah thi aur galiyan gandi aur hatash paida karane vali lag rahi thin.

"musibat ye hai ki mainne is mamale ko bahut door tak jane diya hai." mainne bhari aavaz men kaha. ham andaragraund steshan ke get tak pahunch gaye the, "mera khyal yahi hai ki ham vida ho jayen aur fir kabhi dobara ek dooje se n milen." mainne kaha aur sochata raha ki usakee pratikriya kya hogi.

vah udas dikhi.

mainne usaka hath thama aur haule se sahalaya,"gud bay, yahi behatar rahega. pahale hi tum mujh par bahut asar dal chukee ho."

"gud baya" usane javab diya,"mujhe maf karana."

usaka mafi mangana mere dil par katar kee tarah laga. aur jaise hi vah andaragraund men gayab huee, mujhe asahaniy khalipan ne gher liya.

mainne kya kar dala tha? kya mainne bahut jaldibaji kee? mujhe use chunauti nahin deni chahiye thi. main bhi nira gavadi hoon ki usase dobara milane ke sare raste hi band kar diye, han tab kee bat aur hai jab main khud ko moorakh banane doon. mujhe kya karana chahiye tha? sahan to mujhe hi karana hoga. kash, usase dobara milane se pahale main apani is manasik yantrana ko nind ke jariye kam kar sakoon. kisi bhi keemat par mujhe tab tak apane aapako usase alag rakhana hi hoga jab tak vah n milana chahe. shayad main kuchh jyada hi gambhir tha, jyada pagal. agali bar jab ham milenge to main aur adhik vinamr aur ni:sang rahoonga. lekin kya vo fir se mujhase milana chahegi? zaroor, use milana hi chahiye. vah itani aasani se mujhase kinara nahin kar sakati.

agali subah main apane aap par kaboo nahin pa saka aur chaimbaralen rod par ja pahuncha. main usase to nahin lekin usakee man se mila,"tumane haitti ko kya kar diya hai?" kaha unhonne,"vah roti huee ghar aayi thi aur bata rahi thi ki tumane usase kabhi n milane kee bat kahi hai."

mainne kandhe uchakaye aur vyangy se muskuraya,"usane mere sath kya kiya hai?" tab mainne hichakichate hue poochha ki kya main usase dobara mil sakata hoon.

unhonne jor se apana sir hilaya, "nahin, mujhe nahin lagata ki tumhen milana chahiye."

mainne unhen ek drink ke lie aamantrit kiya aur ham bat karane ke irade se pas hi ke ek pab men chale gaye aur bad men mainne unase ek bar fir unurodh kiya ki ve mujhe haitti se milane den to ve man gayin.

jab ham ghar pahunche to haitti ne daravaja khola. vah mujhe dekh kar hairan aur pareshan nazar aayi. usane abhi abhi sanalait sabun se apana chehara dhoya tha isalie ekadam taza lag raha tha. vah ghar ke bahar vale daravaje par hi khadi rahi. usakee badi badi aankhen thandi aur nirjiv lag rahi thin. main samajh gaya, mamala nipat chuka hai.

"to fira" mainne mazakiya banane kee koshish karate hue kaha,"main ek bar fir gudabay kahane aaya hoon."

usane kuchh nahin kaha lekin main dekh paya ki vah mujhase jan chhudane ke lie betab thi.

mainne apana hath aage badhaya aur kaha,"to!! ek bar fir gudabaya"

"gudabaya" usane thandepan se javab diya.

main muda aur apane pichhe mainne haule se daravaja band hone kee aavaz suni.

halanki main usase sirf panch hi bar mila tha aur hamari koee bhi mulakat shayad hi bis minat se jyada kee rahi ho, is sankshipt hadase ne mujhe lambe arase tak prabhavit kiye rakha.


§ tems embainkament landan ka prasiddh kala kshetr hai. sham ke vakt log yahan chahalakadami karate nazar aate hain. kaee sadak chhap kalakar vahan par tatabandh ke pas apani gayan aur sangit kala ka pradarshan karake bhikh mangate hain.

====

(kramashah agale ankon men jari…)

tag : charlie chaplin, autobiography of charlie chaplin in Hindi, hindi translation of charlie chaplin’s autobiography, suraj prakash

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