Wednesday, May 2, 2007

lateefe 225 - 250

3 agast, 2006


chuTakula # 0225
darshan...

ek vyakti apane daarshanik mitr ke saath prakarti ka aanand lene jangal me gayaa. raat ko
TenT lagaakar dono so ge. aadhee raat ko us vyakti ne daarshanik ko jagaaya aur
bola- mitr, tumhe kuchh dikhaee de raha hai?
daarshanik ne kaha- 'muze aakaash me sundar chaand aur laakho taare dikhaee de rahe hai, ThanDee bayaar chal rahee hai....
mitr- 'aur kya dekh rahe ho?
daarshanik- 'aur dekh raha hoo ki eeshvar kitana dayaalu hai. usane hamaare lie kitanee sundar
prakarti banaee hai....
mitr- 'are yaar, tumhe yah dikhaee nahee deta ki hamaara TenT choree ho gaya hai.

chuTakula # 0226
dooradarshee...

ek patrakaar ne film nirmaata se poochha- 'aapakee film komeDee hai ya TrejaDee.
nirmaata ne javaab diya- 'agar boks ofis ful gaya to komeDee varana TrejaDee.

chuTakula # 0227
saahity seva...

ek dost doosare se- 'yaar, aajakal mai saahity seva kar raha hoo.
doosara dost- 'to kya aap saahity likh rahe hai?
pahala dost- 'nahee yaar, aajakal mai pustako par jild chaDha raha hoo.

chuTakula # 0228
haay re eemaanadaaree...

do saheliyaa bas me safar kar rahee thee. pahalee ne kaha- 'TikaT nahee lete hai.
doosaree bolee- 'nahee, insaan ko eemaanadaar rahana chaahie, eeshvar usaka bhala karata hai. (bheeD me kanDakTar ko usane do TikaT ke 5 rupe die, lekin kanDakTar ne galatee se 1 ru. kee jagah 6 rupe vaapas kar diyaa.)
doosaree- 'dekha, mainne kaha tha na ki eemaanadaar ka eeshvar bhee bhala karata hai.

chuTakula # 0229
ati vyast...

ek aadamee haath me saikal pakaDe bhaag raha thaa.
doosare aadamee ne usase kaha- 'are bhaee saikal par kyo nahee baiTh jaate.
us aadamee ne javaab diya- 'abhee fursat nahee hai, muze jaldee jaana hai.

chuTakula # 0230
teerthayaatra...

ek baar ek aadamee relagaaDee se yaatra kar raha tha, tabhee TikaT chekar aaya aur usane TikaT maangaa. aadamee ne javaab diya- 'TikaT nahee hai.
TikaT chekar ne poochha- 'kahaa jaana hai?
yaatree- 'jahaa shreeraam ka janm hua thaa.
TikaT chekar- 'ab chalo mere saatha.
yaatree- 'kahaa?
TikaT chekar- 'vahee, jahaa shreekarshN ka janm hua thaa.

chuTakula # 0231
baat pate kee...

bhikhaaree- 'saahab do rupe de deejie, chaay pee loongaa.
chaay peene ke baad bhikhaaree bola- 'saahab bhookh lagee hai, ek samosa bhee khila
deejie.
raahageer- 'tumhe ek baar me hee maang lena chaahie.
bhikhaaree- 'Theek hai saahab, to 100 rupe ka ek noT de deejie.

chuTakula # 0232
endhere me teer...

adhyaapak (rohan se)- 'aee DonT no ka hindee me anuvaad karo.
rohan- 'sar, muze nahee pataa.
adhyaapak- 'bahut achchha, baiTh jao.

chuTakula # 0233
mobail...

opareshan khatm hee hua tha ki sarjan ke mobail kee ghanTee bajee. usane idhar-udhar jeb
me haath Daala, mobail nahee milaa. achaanak sarjan ko kuchh yaad aaya aur vah
bola- 'sisTar, fir se opareshan kee taiyaaree karo, mobail to andar hee chhooT gaya hai.

chuTakula # 0234
aashchary...

suresh (mahesh se)- 'yaar tuze aashchary nahee hota ki murgee ke anDo se ye chooje nikalate
kaise hai?
mahesh- 'aashchary to hota hai, lekin mai sochata hoo ki chooje anDo me ghusate kaise hai?

chuTakula # 0235
javaab nahee...

bhoogol ke shikshak ne kaksha me ek chhaatr se prashn poochha- 'sooraj raat me kahaa chala jaata
hai?
chhaatr ne javaab diya- 'sar, sooraj raat me kahee jaata to nahee hai, bas endhere ke kaaraN
ham use dekh nahee paate.

chuTakula # 0236
kumbhakarN...

klaas room me maasTarajee apanee aadat ke anusaar bachcho ko raamabharose chhoDakar Tebal
par so ge. maasTarajee gaharee neend me the ki chaparaasee ne jagaakar bataaya- 'maasTarajee,
skool ke nireekshaN ke lie uchchaadhikaariyo kee Teem aee hai aur vah ab aapakee
kaksha kee or hee aa rahee hai. maasTarajee tanik ghabarae, lekin fir kuchh sochakar
nishchintata se bole- 'Theek hai, aane do aur fir so ge. jaise hee nireekshaN Teem
daravaaje par aee, maasTarajee ubaasee lete hue uThe aur kaha- 'haa, to bachcho kumbhakarN
kaise sota thaa.
nireekshaN Teem yah dekhakar khush ho gee ki yahaa to bachcho ko har cheej praikTikal karake
bataee jaatee hai.

chuTakula # 0237
seeT...

ek baar ek vyakti choT lagane par gale par haath rakhe hue ghar pahuncha to usakee patnee ne
poochha- 'kaise lagee.
vyakti ne kaha- 'jis nagaraseva me baiTha tha, vahaa ek keel baahar thee, usase lagee.
patnee- 'to kisee se seeT badal lete.
vyakti ne kaha- 'kisase badalata, pooree nagaraseva to khaalee thee.

chuTakula # 0238
ajanabee...

relave sTeshan par khaDe sharmaajee ne ekaek apanee penT kee jeb me kisee ka haath mahasoos
kiyaa. ve haath Daalane vaale se bole- 'yah kya kar rahe ho.
vah bola- 'jara maachis le raha thaa.
sharmaajee naaraaj hokar bole- 'muzase maang nahee sakate the?
usane javaab diya- 'mai ajanabiyo se baat nahee karataa.

chuTakula # 0239
khayaal...

jaj (gavaah se)- 'tumhaara kya khayaal hai, yah aadamee kaise mara?
gavaah- 'hujoor, yah bachapan se hee bahut bhulakkaD kism ka aadamee thaa. mera khayaal hai
ki yah saans lena bhool gaya hogaa.


chuTakula # 0240
vikaas...

raam (shyaam se)- 'yaar, tumane jo paudha mere ghar ke gamale me lagaaya tha vah abhee tak
baDha hee nahee.
shyaam- 'tumhe kaise pata chala?
raam- 'kyonki mai use roj ukhaaDakar dekhata hoo.

chuTakula # 0241
muhoort...

ek jyotishee ke ghar me chor ghuse to jyotishee kee patnee ne kaha ki shor machao. itane
me jyotishee bola- 'abhee muhoort nahee hai, shor kaise machae.
chh: maheene baad jab vah shubh muhoort aaya to jyotishee ne shor machaaya- 'chor...
chor.... mohalle ke log dauDe ae aur unhonne poochha ki chor kahaa hai to jyotishee
ka javaab tha- 'chor to chh: maheene pahale hee bhaag ge the. logo ne poochha- 'to ab
kyo shor macha rahe ho? jyotishee ka javaab tha- 'muhoort aaj ka hee thaa.

chuTakula # 0242
kaTautee...

bhikhaaree- 'kya baat hai saahab, pahale aap sau rupe dete the, baad me pachaas, fir
pachchees aur ab das rupe dete hai.
daanee- 'pahale mai kunvaara tha tab sau, fir mera vivaah ho gaya to pachaas, ek bachcha
ho gaya to pachchees aur ab do bachche ho ge isalie das rupe dene lagaa.
bhikhaaree- 'vaah saahab, aapake poore parivaar ka kharcha to mere rupayo se hee chal raha hai.

chuTakula # 0243
tulaseedaasajee ...

neeraj ne apane mitr se kaha- 'agar tulaseedaasajee aaj jeevit hote to ek adbhut vyakti hote.

'haa, chaar-paanch sau varsh ka vyakti adbhut to hota hee hai. mitr ne uttar diyaa.

chuTakula # 0244
nirakshar ...

ek chauraahe par Tange borD par likha tha- agar aap nirakshar hai to saakshar banane ke lie jila shiksha adhikaaree ke paas likhe.

chuTakula # 0245
miTTee...

ek sarakaaree vidyaalay me nireekshaN ke lie ae inspekTar ne ek adhyaapak se poochha- 'yah miTTee ka Dher kahaa se aaya? bahut bura lag raha hai.

maalee ne beech me kaha, 'hujoor, kuchh paudhe lagaane ke lie ek ganDha khoda gaya thaa. yah usee kee miTTee hai.

'aisa karo. ek ganDha khodo aur yah miTTee usee ganDhe me Daal do. inspekTar ne kahaa.

chuTakula # 0246
patnee aur premika...

do dost raaste me khaDe-khaDe baate kar rahe the, tabhee saamane se do sundar yuvatiyaa aatee huee dikhaee dee.

ek ne kaha- 'gajab ho gayaa. meree patnee aur premika dono saath-saath aa rahee hai.

doosara bol uTha- 'kitanee ajeeb baat hai, mai bhee yahee kahane vaala thaa.

chuTakula # 0247
saja

naina - mammee, hamaaree billee ne meree ek pustak chaba lee.

mammee - jara DanDa laana, us shaitaan ko abhee mai maja chakhaatee haioohoo.

naina - nahee mammee, saja to mai use de chukee.

mammee - vah kaise?

naina - us ke pyaale me rakha doodh mai ne pee liyaa.

chuTakula # 0248
chiDiyaaghar

ek bachche ko usake maa-baap chiDiyaaghar lekar ge.

vahaa bachche ne pahale haathee ko nahaate hue dekhaa. agale pinjare me sher dahaaData hua dikhaee diyaa. usake baad aage bandar darshako ka manoranjan kar rahe the.

isase aage chale to bachche ne jindagee me pahalee baar oonT dekhaa.
oonT ko dekhate hee bachcha bola - 'kya haal kar diya kameeno ne ghoDe kaa.

chuTakula # 0249
javaanee

ek adheD abhinetree ne ThanDee saans lete hue apanee sahelee se kaha-
jab muze apanee javaanee ke din yaad aate hai to muze apane aap se nafarat hone lagatee
hai.

sahelee- kyo aisa kya hua tha un dino?

abhinetree ne udaas hokar javaab diya- isee baat ka hee to rona hai ki kuchh hua hee
nahee.


chuTakula # 0250
khiDakee ke saamane

ek DokTarake beDarum kee khiDakee ke saamane ek aadamee roj aakar baiTh jaata thaa.
usakee is harakat se tang aakar DokTar kee nee-navelee dulhan ne apane pati se us
aadamee kee shikaayat kee. DokTar ko apanee patnee kee baat sunakar bahut gussa aayaa.
agale din usane aadamee ko bulaakar faTakaar lagaate hue kaha- tumako sharm nahee
aatee, is tarah yahaa aakar roj baiTh jaate ho. agar kal ae to thaane me riporT kar
doongaa. isapar aadamee ne baDe hee bholepan se javaab diya- kyo naaraaj hote ho DokTar
saab, aap hee ne to is khiDakee par jo borD laga rakha hai, us par likha hai 'milane
ka samay subah 9.00 se 12.00 baje tak aur shaam 4.00 se 6.00 baje taka.

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